Informed consent by minors to engage in sex with an adult - required advisories to the child
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Children (minors under the "legal age" of consent) cannot give informed consent to engage in sexual activity with an adult until they understand the complete consequences of doing so.
Below is what would today be considered a situation which would require advisories necessary, so that a child can give fully informed consent. It is given as a dialogue between an adult male BoyLover, and an eleven-year-old boy who is his "young friend".
"Well, Billy, wrestling on the floor with our shirts off was really fun, wasn't it!"
"Heh, I've got an idea. How about trying something else that is really fun, too?
"Sure. What are ya thinking of?"
"Well, it involves another kind of touching. It's where you lie down, and I touch you in some special ways. Want to try it?"
"It won't hurt, will it?"
"No--of course not! I wouldn't do anything that would hurt you!"
"Then, OK--let's do it!"
"Fine. But there are a few things I should tell you, first, before you say "Yes":
"Well, I am going to begin by touching your arms, your shoulders, and your chest."
"Sounds OK to me. Then what?"
"If you don't want me to stop, I will then touch your stomach, too."
"That would tickle!"
"Well, I'll be careful that I don't tickle you. If you still don't want me to stop, then I will touch you a bit lower."
"How much lower?"
"Just a little bit. Then if I touch you a bit lower, and you still don't want me to stop, I will touch your dick and your balls.
"Wait a minute! That's my private parts!"
"I know. But they are your private parts, and you can decide who touches them, can't you?"
"Well, in school they told me that nobody should touch them."
"That's kind of silly, isn't it? They are your private parts!"
"Gee... I guess you're right about that..."
"So, if I touch your dick, your dick will get hard."
"You sure about that?"
"Almost positive. And if your dick gets hard when I touch it, then you will have very strong pleasurable feelings."
"How do you know that?"
"Trust me--I know! Then if you still don't want me to stop, and I continue to touch your dick, you may then experience a really really really strong and pleasurable feeling, maybe one you have never had before. It's called an "orgasm".
"I heard some of the guys at school talk about those."
"Yeah, boys your age start to talk about that stuff a lot!"
"You say it'll feel good?"
"I promise you, you will really really enjoy it! But there is one thing..."
"If you do have an orgasm (or even if you don't), you might wonder something about yourself."
"Something about what they call your "sexual identity".
"You might wonder if you're gay."
"I'm no f***king gay!"
"I know, I know... I never thought for a moment that you were gay."
"Well, I'm glad we got that straightened out!"
"Speaking of straightening things out, let me go on..."
"If you do question your sexual identity, you might need me to reassure you that you will not become homosexual from being touched, and then from orgasming that way."
"I told you--I ain't no gay!"
"I know. Take it easy! Anyway, If your mother finds out that I touched your dick, she may become angry and not allow you to see me any more."
"My mom used to hit me when she saw me touching my dick."
"Yeah, lots of adults are crazy about things to do with touching, and dicks, and stuff like that."
"You're telling me! They're all nuts! Even my teachers at school are nuts!"
"I know. Anyway, back to your mom. If she finds out, she would probably make a report to the police and tell them that I touched your dick."
"What do the cops have to do with stuff like that?"
"They made a law against people touching each other's dicks, if one of them is too young."
"I'm not too young!"
"I know, but they don't know. So, if she makes a report to the police, then the police will become angry, and will want to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk to no cops!"
"I know. But they will make you talk to them. They've got guns, remember?"
"Yeah--I've seen all the bad stuff they do on YouTube."
"Me, too. So, if the police want to talk to you, you can either agree to talk to them, or not agree to talk to them. That's up to you."
"I'll never talk to them!"
"Don't say that--you don't know yet what they will do to you!"
"We'll get to that. Anyway, if you do agree to talk to them, then anything you tell them about me touching your dick will make them ask you even more stupid questions."
"Well, the police will tell you that I am some kind of a "monster" and that I have to be stopped from ever touching another boy the way I touched you."
"But, if I want it, and you don't hurt me..."
"It doesn't matter. They'll say that they need you to help them to stop me from doing it again to other boys."
"Well, if other boys want it, that's up to them!"
"I agree. But the cops don't. Anyway, to continue--the police will lie to you..."
"About anything and everything. One thing they'll tell you is that I already told them about everything--the touching, and stuff like that--so you don't have to worry--you can tell them about everything, too."
"Would you tell them everything?"
"Are you crazy? Heh, I'm just kidding... No, I wouldn't tell them anything at all!
"Then I won't tell them anything, neither!"
"Wait a sec before you say that--the police will threaten you..."
"The police will say that they'll tell your parents that you are gay."
"What if I tell them not to tell my parents anything?"
"They won't listen. They'll do it anyway, even if you do "talk" to them."
"Bastards! Then what?"
"After the police tell your parents, your parents will be even more angry at you--they might even kick you out of your house when you turn 16, and they might never want to ever see you again."
"They wouldn't do that!"
"Parents have done that to thousands and thousands of kids already. Remember, they're crazy about some things."
"So, the police will then say they'll tell all your neighbors, and all your friends, too, that you are gay."
"They can't do that!"
"Sure they can. They've got guns, remember?"
"They'll tell all your friends at school, anyway, even if you do "talk". Then after the police tell all your friends at school, all your friends will tease you, and bully you, and call you "gay," "pervert," "homo," and they won't ever talk to you or play with you ever again!"
"Gee... I guess you might be right about that... I've seen that happen before..."
"Then the police will tell you that if you don't tell them what they want to know, that they will keep you at the police station, and keep on asking you questions. They'll tell you that you can't have anything to eat until you "talk," and that you can't use the toilet, either, until you "talk". You may even have to wet your pants, because they won't let you go to the toilet. Which is really embarrassing..."
"They can't do that!"
"The guns... remember?"
"They'll tell you that you won't be able to go home until you do tell them what they want to hear."
"Can they do that?"
"No. They're lying. Cops can lie about anything they want. Anything!"
"Yup. Anything. So, if you do talk to them, then that means you can never ever see me again --well, except maybe one time, in court. I will be arrested and put in prison for many years."
"For touching your dick."
"It sure is!. Then they will be put you in "treatment," and force you to go see a psychologist once or twice a week, for months and months, or maybe for many years."
"'Cause they'll think that I hurt you, and that they have to make fix it, and make you better."
"Yup. And the therapist will tell you that you were hurt by my touching you. If you say that you were not hurt by my touching you, she will think you are lying."
"Is she like the police--can she lie about anything?"
"Yup. So, if she thinks you are lying, then she will put more pressure on you to make you believe that I hurt you."
"She will tell you that I am a "monster". She will say that I have to be stopped from ever touching another boy the way I touched you. She will make you feel "dirty," and "sick," and "abnormal" just because I touched you, and she'll tell you that it is really really bad to ever let someone older than you ever touch you."
"They already said that in school."
"If you argue with her, she will put more pressure on you--she will tell you that "until you understand you cannot be healed".
"Healed? But what if I'm not sick?"
"She will insist that you are. And she's friends with the police. They've got guns, remember?"
"If you argue with her that I didn't hurt you, she will put even more pressure on you. And until you agree with everything that the therapist tells you, you will be forced to continue seeing the therapist until you do agree with everything!"
"Can they really do that?"
"When you finally agree--which you will have to, if you want the therapy to ever stop--you will then begin to believe that I really am a 'monster'."
"No I won't!"
"Yes, you will. They know how to convince anybody of almost anything. So, you will then hate me. You will then regret having ever met me."
"No I won't!"
"Yes, you will. They'll make you. Anyway, you will then worry even more that you might be "gay" because you liked it when I touched you. But don't ever tell the therapist that!"
"If you tell the therapist you're worried about being gay, then you will have to have even more therapy--a new and different kind of therapy, and that therapy might go on for a long long time."
"Hmm... Gee, what if I just don't ever talk to the police?
"If the police want to talk to you, and you don't agree to talk to them nothing bad will happen."
"Nope. Nothing. They'll just give up--it might take many hours, or a few days--but they'll finally leave you alone, and let you go home."
"How about my mom?"
"If your mom never finds out that I touched your dick, she won't become angry. And you can still come to visit me any time you want. If no one ever finds out that I touched your dick, then it will just stay our secret, and--if you want--then we can do it again. But if you don't want me to touch your dick, then I won't do it again."
"I hope not!"
"Don't worry--you know me. I'm a nice guy! OK. Now that you know what might happen, do you still want to try that something else that I said is really fun, too?
"Uh... hmm... it looks like none of that bad stuff could ever happen as long as I never tell anyone that you touched me, right?"
"Yes, that's right. None of that bad stuff would ever happen to you."
"Then, OK--let's do it! You're my best friend, and I'll keep my mouth shut about you forever and ever!"
"Well, if that's what you really want, then I guess we can try it. So, Billy, how about you just lie down over here, and let's see what happens..."
In this case, the boy is now "fully informed of all the consequences" of engaging in sexual activity with an adult. The consent he gives is fully informed consent.
- Read/download How Children Learn About Sex - Lawrence Josephs (2015).pdf