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User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality

2025-12-04T19:39:17Z

Meco: introductory clarification

[[image:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality|center|1500px]]

::::'''''Holotropic homosexuality is the one integral path forward for humanity in accordance with the law of the cosmos and the will of God'''''

:''The theory of Holotropic Homosexuality outlined herein is a cosmological and metaphysical framework for understanding same-sex attraction as a sacred, evolutionary force in adult spiritual development. It is not concerned with and does not address questions of age, mentorship, or intergenerational dynamics. Those topics belong to separate anthropological or ethical discussions.''

'''Holotropic homosexuality''' is what the phrase "sacred homosexuality" could never attain to. It represents the only integral and thus valid approach to the path to humanity's reunification with God.

[[Homosexuality]] is neither a fluke or disease, nor is it simply a discreet part of the spectrum of being human. Homosexuality as manifested and purified in evolved, readied individuals, has a unique function in a universal, cosmic perspective in relation to Creation itself.

Humanity's destiny, and a significant cohort among the spiritually oriented alternative community (and many others as well) realize this, is to transcend itself. The most important aspect to this is transcending duality. This means growing past co-dependency, which is epitomized in [[heterosexuality]] proper; that is the limitation of needing to pair up to become whole. Sure, we still need to actualize this faculty of living in duality-based realities, also, creation will always have the polarity aspects associated with it, i.e. the feminine archetype (the nurturer) and the masculine archetype (the creator, the explorer, the maverick), however, only as individual, independent (on the human level) souls, encompassing the full feminine and masculine ontologies which we have gathered from our incarnations as human beings, are we going to pass through the gate to the next level, one by one, not in pairs.

To briefly explain the sexual attraction aspect, a consolidated homosexual orientation is an imperative prerequisite for such a transformation as is encapsulated in the term 'transcendence' (which is [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/holotropic holotropic] in contradistinction to the term 'ascendance').

Love is the full-spectrum energy of the cosmos, and to be able to complete this transition the one has to manifest love for oneself, including one's own physical body and love including its sexual aspect. In other words, a self-reliant sexual focus is needed in the person going through transcendence. Not being able to manifest sexual attraction for one's own gender in the form of fellow males thus constitutes a non-starter for this process.

A point must also be made here of the assertion that bisexuality is not a solution, as the opposite-gender focus in that is merely a vestige of deprecated heterosexuality, i.e. it is dross in this context.

The notion of holotropic homosexuality is a novelty. It assumes, as the only qualified pretender, the position of forerunner as well as leader on the path onward for humanity, and indeed for humanity in its caretaker role towards all of Creation. To understand why and how this is, one must realize that all pretenses made so far by religious groups, religious forerunners (including prophets and religion founders), by esoteric traditions of the East or of the West, including even the shamanic traditions of indigenous peoples, at best have only been able to point vaguely towards the manifest leadership now being assumed by individuals integrating fully the principle of holotropic homosexuality, at worst, being wholly mistaken (as far as their understanding of their doings). But for all must now come the realization that they have fulfilled their mission which has been to prepare the ground for the advent of holotropic homosexuality, and they must now make a new assessment of their positions in light of this new reality that is being ushered in commensurate with the advent of holotropic homosexuality. This is because this advent establishes unequivocally that worship of any aspect of God other than that which for humanity can only be actualized while realizing the function of holotropic homosexuality, is not only ineffectual but averse and counterproductive.

==Consequences for cosmologies==
The updates needed to cosmologies necessary for realizing and integrating these developments are the following:

As creation follows creation corresponding exactly to the incremental step from one whole number to the next, so God the Father manifests the fractally compressed crystallized matrix of the preceding emanation as His thought, i.e. the Universe or Creation. However, as each such new incremental dispensation is also accompanied by opening up (inaugurating) a brand new natural number, which happens to be the ordinal number of this Creation in the sequence of Creations (in contradistinction to all the preceding numbers preceding it), this new number will be completely without preset correspondences or associations. Consider that all the previous numbers will have accrued a full array (lattice, matrix) of correspondences along the duration of the preceding Creation. Thus the new number, the ordinal number of our present Creation, represents the unknowns of the present Creation from the perspective of the preceding Creation, the essential new ontology and corresponding phenomena becoming actualized in the present Creation for the first time in the sequence of Creations since the first Creation which had the ordinal number 1. Thus the number of the present Creation, and the ontology which epitomizes it, up until a fundamental, dialectic turning point, is perceived as the ultimate threat and problem: the "monster", from Scandinavian "mönster", meaning pattern, i.e. that which is just short of being grasped fully by the intellect, instead causing a cascade of emotive associations related to repressed ontologies, i.e. "painful memories" on the biographical as well as on the phylogenic past trajectory. All conceptions of ''evil'' and ''sin'' fall back to this phenomenon.

[[image:Fog-79456 640.jpg|center|450px]]

Then, at the turning point of Creation, at the point where all life which has up until then been oriented towards the Creator (God the Father), Life's pioneers, which at this time is Humanity, become conscious of the nature of the procession of God the Father on to His offspring, God the Son, who eventually becomes the next God the Father and so on in perpetuity, or in precise mathematical terms, in transfinity, and in accordance with this realization a cosmic reorientation takes place towards God the Son, i.e. the God the Father to be, and everything, in particular every being, oriented towards Him becomes worshipful.

==Holotropic homosexuals leading humanity==
Human beings integrating holotropic homosexuality constitute the leading figures in the universal movement which is the second and final part of Creation, the contraction towards the next crystallization through the principle of fractal compression (see the work of Dan Winter to get a full understanding of this term in relation to ontology). This phase will be every bit as complex and complicated as the first, expansive phase of Creation, but where the first phase was guided by unknown and unpredictable principles, the second phase is guided by known and consolidated principles. What this means is that this is where the fun begins, the first steps towards the abolishment of senseless violence and suffering without meaning.

The fact is that only very few individuals are truly ready to embrace and integrate holotropic homosexuality in themselves. This means for the others that their role, when they decide to "get with the program", is to define their position and functional relationship towards the phenomenon as well as its manifestation among fellow human beings in what will necessarily become a structured, some of it even a formal, though organically evolving and developing, organization.

==Applied sex economy==
[[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] is the most relevant tool for actualizing one's full, true potential for individuals who wish to align themselves with the ideas and ethos of holotropic homosexuality - whether or not they have a homosexual orientation.

I have recently realized that Scientology technology, first and foremost Dianetics is likely to be a pendant tool of immense value to this therapeutic process. (That would be independent, so-called Free Zone Scientology that has not been subverted by the Church of Scientology.)

==See also==
* [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] – expanding on the present page

User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality

2025-12-04T19:31:10Z

Meco: ce

[[image:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality|center|1500px]]

::::'''''Holotropic homosexuality is the one integral path forward for humanity in accordance with the law of the cosmos and the will of God'''''

'''Holotropic homosexuality''' is what the phrase "sacred homosexuality" could never attain to. It represents the only integral and thus valid approach to the path to humanity's reunification with God.

[[Homosexuality]] is neither a fluke or disease, nor is it simply a discreet part of the spectrum of being human. Homosexuality as manifested and purified in evolved, readied individuals, has a unique function in a universal, cosmic perspective in relation to Creation itself.

Humanity's destiny, and a significant cohort among the spiritually oriented alternative community (and many others as well) realize this, is to transcend itself. The most important aspect to this is transcending duality. This means growing past co-dependency, which is epitomized in [[heterosexuality]] proper; that is the limitation of needing to pair up to become whole. Sure, we still need to actualize this faculty of living in duality-based realities, also, creation will always have the polarity aspects associated with it, i.e. the feminine archetype (the nurturer) and the masculine archetype (the creator, the explorer, the maverick), however, only as individual, independent (on the human level) souls, encompassing the full feminine and masculine ontologies which we have gathered from our incarnations as human beings, are we going to pass through the gate to the next level, one by one, not in pairs.

To briefly explain the sexual attraction aspect, a consolidated homosexual orientation is an imperative prerequisite for such a transformation as is encapsulated in the term 'transcendence' (which is [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/holotropic holotropic] in contradistinction to the term 'ascendance').

Love is the full-spectrum energy of the cosmos, and to be able to complete this transition the one has to manifest love for oneself, including one's own physical body and love including its sexual aspect. In other words, a self-reliant sexual focus is needed in the person going through transcendence. Not being able to manifest sexual attraction for one's own gender in the form of fellow males thus constitutes a non-starter for this process.

A point must also be made here of the assertion that bisexuality is not a solution, as the opposite-gender focus in that is merely a vestige of deprecated heterosexuality, i.e. it is dross in this context.

The notion of holotropic homosexuality is a novelty. It assumes, as the only qualified pretender, the position of forerunner as well as leader on the path onward for humanity, and indeed for humanity in its caretaker role towards all of Creation. To understand why and how this is, one must realize that all pretenses made so far by religious groups, religious forerunners (including prophets and religion founders), by esoteric traditions of the East or of the West, including even the shamanic traditions of indigenous peoples, at best have only been able to point vaguely towards the manifest leadership now being assumed by individuals integrating fully the principle of holotropic homosexuality, at worst, being wholly mistaken (as far as their understanding of their doings). But for all must now come the realization that they have fulfilled their mission which has been to prepare the ground for the advent of holotropic homosexuality, and they must now make a new assessment of their positions in light of this new reality that is being ushered in commensurate with the advent of holotropic homosexuality. This is because this advent establishes unequivocally that worship of any aspect of God other than that which for humanity can only be actualized while realizing the function of holotropic homosexuality, is not only ineffectual but averse and counterproductive.

==Consequences for cosmologies==
The updates needed to cosmologies necessary for realizing and integrating these developments are the following:

As creation follows creation corresponding exactly to the incremental step from one whole number to the next, so God the Father manifests the fractally compressed crystallized matrix of the preceding emanation as His thought, i.e. the Universe or Creation. However, as each such new incremental dispensation is also accompanied by opening up (inaugurating) a brand new natural number, which happens to be the ordinal number of this Creation in the sequence of Creations (in contradistinction to all the preceding numbers preceding it), this new number will be completely without preset correspondences or associations. Consider that all the previous numbers will have accrued a full array (lattice, matrix) of correspondences along the duration of the preceding Creation. Thus the new number, the ordinal number of our present Creation, represents the unknowns of the present Creation from the perspective of the preceding Creation, the essential new ontology and corresponding phenomena becoming actualized in the present Creation for the first time in the sequence of Creations since the first Creation which had the ordinal number 1. Thus the number of the present Creation, and the ontology which epitomizes it, up until a fundamental, dialectic turning point, is perceived as the ultimate threat and problem: the "monster", from Scandinavian "mönster", meaning pattern, i.e. that which is just short of being grasped fully by the intellect, instead causing a cascade of emotive associations related to repressed ontologies, i.e. "painful memories" on the biographical as well as on the phylogenic past trajectory. All conceptions of ''evil'' and ''sin'' fall back to this phenomenon.

[[image:Fog-79456 640.jpg|center|450px]]

Then, at the turning point of Creation, at the point where all life which has up until then been oriented towards the Creator (God the Father), Life's pioneers, which at this time is Humanity, become conscious of the nature of the procession of God the Father on to His offspring, God the Son, who eventually becomes the next God the Father and so on in perpetuity, or in precise mathematical terms, in transfinity, and in accordance with this realization a cosmic reorientation takes place towards God the Son, i.e. the God the Father to be, and everything, in particular every being, oriented towards Him becomes worshipful.

==Holotropic homosexuals leading humanity==
Human beings integrating holotropic homosexuality constitute the leading figures in the universal movement which is the second and final part of Creation, the contraction towards the next crystallization through the principle of fractal compression (see the work of Dan Winter to get a full understanding of this term in relation to ontology). This phase will be every bit as complex and complicated as the first, expansive phase of Creation, but where the first phase was guided by unknown and unpredictable principles, the second phase is guided by known and consolidated principles. What this means is that this is where the fun begins, the first steps towards the abolishment of senseless violence and suffering without meaning.

The fact is that only very few individuals are truly ready to embrace and integrate holotropic homosexuality in themselves. This means for the others that their role, when they decide to "get with the program", is to define their position and functional relationship towards the phenomenon as well as its manifestation among fellow human beings in what will necessarily become a structured, some of it even a formal, though organically evolving and developing, organization.

==Applied sex economy==
[[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] is the most relevant tool for actualizing one's full, true potential for individuals who wish to align themselves with the ideas and ethos of holotropic homosexuality - whether or not they have a homosexual orientation.

I have recently realized that Scientology technology, first and foremost Dianetics is likely to be a pendant tool of immense value to this therapeutic process. (That would be independent, so-called Free Zone Scientology that has not been subverted by the Church of Scientology.)

==See also==
* [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] – expanding on the present page

User:Meco/Applied sex economy

2025-05-16T14:12:27Z

Meco: /* External links */ replaced dead link

:''This page has just been created and will be expanded considerably shortly.''
'''Applied sex economy''' is self-therapy and self-realization based on the principles of sex economy. It is the most potent tool for these aims available among all conventional and alternative approaches. The science of sex economy is the 1920s founding ground for all of Wilhelm Reich's later developments and body-psychotherapy modalities since in the neo-Reichian tradition.

Applied sex economy is a principal tool for actualizing [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|holotropic homosexuality]].

==Power and (absence of) limitations==
Applied sex economy will take you deeper and further than even Reich and Ola Raknes in their time could predict. There is no "[[wikipedia:glass ceiling|glass ceiling]]" with this modality such as exists with ''every other spiritual and therapeutic modality in existence''.

It is a fully consolidated process which will take on the world's hidden controlling powers ''head on'' and overcome them without there being anything in their repertoire that can stop you. ALL resistance which you can and will experience from your social surroundings reflecting the super-ego and ultimately the incumbent power structure will be defeated and sublimated in a sustained and consolidating process. All vexations, pain and frustration you will experience will only be within your tolerance range.

==External links==
* [https://drive.google.com/file/d/15NmkN1aqH03Qrh7YxeX2NN0B00dcRLHa/view?usp=sharing Sex Economy (an essay by Ola Raknes)]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20140116140220/http://en.xiandos.info/Sex_economy article based on above essay]
** [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ola_Raknes Ola Raknes] - biographical article on Wikipedia (written by his great grandson, [[User:Meco|Halvor (Raknes)]])
* [https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151841782927960&set=a.50003432959.64023.697642959&type=1 A discussion with Zen Benefiel] - connecting sex economy to more traditional New Spirituality ideas and practices.
* [http://en.xiandos.info/Prerequisite_for_magical_practice Prerequisite for magical practice] - Renowned occultist and psychotherapist [[wikipedia:Israel Regardie|Israel Regardie]] on the efficacy of Reichian therapies. [currently unavailable]

User:Meco

2023-12-29T13:10:12Z

Meco: /* Intro */ no money

''The life story narrative provided below is very incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated toward writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Liadalsveien 25, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-19]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic (non-Crowleyan) Abraxian Apotheosis, and definitely Christian.

==Intro==
[[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Sex economist (Reichian)]], I work for God (the real one…).

I live without money and have done so since 2002.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight and thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 minute movies, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a Boy Scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or other) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia of the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My income from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line; that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into it. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS-Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burned CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenaged boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenaged boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving the matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made "illegal pornography" available to minors. When the case was appealed, however, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose, direction, and meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual awakening.

It's 1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo with several thousand participants, mostly adolescent boys.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I'd had little experience with intoxication. A firm non-smoker, I had also never taken much to alcohol. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe, and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of an affiliate, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party was a five-day online networking marathon in which sleep was frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills were all the rage, although anything stronger was strictly taboo. Still, some people snuck off to private areas to do other drugs. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invited me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. He, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I went with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to have been a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallel narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://truthsocial.com/@Halvor_Raknes Truth]
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor X/Twitter]
* [https://vk.com/id308281243 VK] ''(I can't log in currently)''
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ Wordpress blog]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes/ Disqus]
* [https://gab.ai/Halvor GAB]
* [https://www.flickr.com/photos/28957629@N04/ Flickr]
* [https://www.scribd.com/user/4677039/Halvor-Raknes Scribd]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ My homepage from 1994 to ca 2000] archived at the Internet Archive

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
** [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/WMF_Global_Ban_Policy#List_of_global_bans_placed_by_the_Wikimedia_Foundation THE LIST]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20141026183456/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile English Wikipedia user page]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20080329015805/http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile user page on the Wikimedia Meta wiki] (links to further subproject user pages are there)
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User:Meco

2023-11-20T14:05:53Z

Meco: /* Intro */ Changed

''The life story narrative provided below is very incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated toward writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Liadalsveien 25, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-19]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic (non-Crowleyan) Abraxian Apotheosis, and definitely Christian.

==Intro==
[[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Sex economist (Reichian)]], I work for God (the real one…)

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight and thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 minute movies, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a Boy Scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or other) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia of the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My income from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line; that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into it. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS-Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burned CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenaged boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenaged boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving the matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made "illegal pornography" available to minors. When the case was appealed, however, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose, direction, and meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual awakening.

It's 1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo with several thousand participants, mostly adolescent boys.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I'd had little experience with intoxication. A firm non-smoker, I had also never taken much to alcohol. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe, and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of an affiliate, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party was a five-day online networking marathon in which sleep was frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills were all the rage, although anything stronger was strictly taboo. Still, some people snuck off to private areas to do other drugs. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invited me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. He, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I went with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to have been a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallel narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://truthsocial.com/@Halvor_Raknes Truth]
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor X/Twitter]
* [https://vk.com/id308281243 VK] ''(I can't log in currently)''
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ Wordpress blog]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes/ Disqus]
* [https://gab.ai/Halvor GAB]
* [https://www.flickr.com/photos/28957629@N04/ Flickr]
* [https://www.scribd.com/user/4677039/Halvor-Raknes Scribd]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ My homepage from 1994 to ca 2000] archived at the Internet Archive

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
** [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/WMF_Global_Ban_Policy#List_of_global_bans_placed_by_the_Wikimedia_Foundation THE LIST]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20141026183456/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile English Wikipedia user page]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20080329015805/http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile user page on the Wikimedia Meta wiki] (links to further subproject user pages are there)
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

TBL

2023-11-20T13:57:57Z

Meco: eliminating double redirect

#REDIRECT [[Teen boy lover (dictionary)]]

User:Meco

2023-09-30T11:38:12Z

Meco: /* Online presence: */ old homepage

''The life story narrative provided below is very incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated toward writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Liadalsveien 25, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-19]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic (non-Crowleyan) Abraxian Apotheosis, and definitely Christian.

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight and thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 minute movies, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a Boy Scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or other) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia of the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My income from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line; that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into it. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS-Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burned CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenaged boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenaged boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving the matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made "illegal pornography" available to minors. When the case was appealed, however, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose, direction, and meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual awakening.

It's 1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo with several thousand participants, mostly adolescent boys.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I'd had little experience with intoxication. A firm non-smoker, I had also never taken much to alcohol. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe, and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of an affiliate, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party was a five-day online networking marathon in which sleep was frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills were all the rage, although anything stronger was strictly taboo. Still, some people snuck off to private areas to do other drugs. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invited me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. He, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I went with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to have been a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallel narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://truthsocial.com/@Halvor_Raknes Truth]
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor X/Twitter]
* [https://vk.com/id308281243 VK] ''(I can't log in currently)''
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ Wordpress blog]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes/ Disqus]
* [https://gab.ai/Halvor GAB]
* [https://www.flickr.com/photos/28957629@N04/ Flickr]
* [https://www.scribd.com/user/4677039/Halvor-Raknes Scribd]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ My homepage from 1994 to ca 2000] archived at the Internet Archive

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
** [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/WMF_Global_Ban_Policy#List_of_global_bans_placed_by_the_Wikimedia_Foundation THE LIST]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20141026183456/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile English Wikipedia user page]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20080329015805/http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile user page on the Wikimedia Meta wiki] (links to further subproject user pages are there)
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User:Meco

2023-08-20T13:29:58Z

Meco: added Truth Social

''The life story narrative provided below is very incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated toward writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Liadalsveien 25, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-19]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic (non-Crowleyan) Abraxian Apotheosis, and definitely Christian.

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight and thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 minute movies, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a Boy Scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or other) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia of the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My income from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line; that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into it. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS-Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burned CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenaged boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenaged boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving the matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made "illegal pornography" available to minors. When the case was appealed, however, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose, direction, and meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual awakening.

It's 1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo with several thousand participants, mostly adolescent boys.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I'd had little experience with intoxication. A firm non-smoker, I had also never taken much to alcohol. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe, and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of an affiliate, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party was a five-day online networking marathon in which sleep was frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills were all the rage, although anything stronger was strictly taboo. Still, some people snuck off to private areas to do other drugs. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invited me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. He, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I went with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to have been a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallel narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://truthsocial.com/@Halvor_Raknes Truth]
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor X/Twitter]
* [https://vk.com/id308281243 VK] ''(I can't log in currently)''
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ Wordpress blog]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes/ Disqus]
* [https://gab.ai/Halvor GAB]
* [https://www.flickr.com/photos/28957629@N04/ Flickr]
* [https://www.scribd.com/user/4677039/Halvor-Raknes Scribd]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
** [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/WMF_Global_Ban_Policy#List_of_global_bans_placed_by_the_Wikimedia_Foundation THE LIST]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20141026183456/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile English Wikipedia user page]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20080329015805/http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile user page on the Wikimedia Meta wiki] (links to further subproject user pages are there)
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User:Meco

2023-03-27T12:43:56Z

Meco: /* Online presence: */

''The life story narrative provided below is very incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated toward writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Liadalsveien 25, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-19]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic (non-Crowleyan) Abraxian Apotheosis, and definitely Christian.

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight and thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 minute movies, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a Boy Scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or other) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia of the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My income from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line; that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into it. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS-Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burned CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenaged boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenaged boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving the matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made "illegal pornography" available to minors. When the case was appealed, however, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose, direction, and meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual awakening.

It's 1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo with several thousand participants, mostly adolescent boys.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I'd had little experience with intoxication. A firm non-smoker, I had also never taken much to alcohol. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe, and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of an affiliate, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party was a five-day online networking marathon in which sleep was frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills were all the rage, although anything stronger was strictly taboo. Still, some people snuck off to private areas to do other drugs. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invited me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. He, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I went with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to have been a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallel narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [https://vk.com/id308281243 VK] ''(I can't log in currently)''
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ Wordpress blog]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes/ Disqus]
* [https://gab.ai/Halvor GAB]
* [https://www.flickr.com/photos/28957629@N04/ Flickr]
* [https://www.scribd.com/user/4677039/Halvor-Raknes Scribd]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
** [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/WMF_Global_Ban_Policy#List_of_global_bans_placed_by_the_Wikimedia_Foundation THE LIST]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20141026183456/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile English Wikipedia user page]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20080329015805/http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile user page on the Wikimedia Meta wiki] (links to further subproject user pages are there)
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User:Meco

2022-01-07T18:59:02Z

Meco: /* Links */ some Wikipedia user pages and global ban reference

''The life story narrative provided below is very incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated toward writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Liadalsveien 25, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-19]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic (non-Crowleyan) Abraxian Apotheosis, and definitely Christian.

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight and thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 minute movies, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a Boy Scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or other) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia of the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My income from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line; that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into it. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS-Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burned CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenaged boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenaged boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving the matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made "illegal pornography" available to minors. When the case was appealed, however, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose, direction, and meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual awakening.

It's 1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo with several thousand participants, mostly adolescent boys.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I'd had little experience with intoxication. A firm non-smoker, I had also never taken much to alcohol. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe, and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of an affiliate, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party was a five-day online networking marathon in which sleep was frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills were all the rage, although anything stronger was strictly taboo. Still, some people snuck off to private areas to do other drugs. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invited me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. He, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I went with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to have been a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallel narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [https://vk.com/id308281243 VK] ''(I can't log in currently)''
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ Wordpress blog]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes/ Disqus]
* [https://gab.ai/Halvor GAB]
* [https://www.flickr.com/photos/28957629@N04/ Flickr]
* [https://www.scribd.com/a22112216 Scribd]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
** [https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/WMF_Global_Ban_Policy#List_of_global_bans_placed_by_the_Wikimedia_Foundation THE LIST]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20141026183456/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile English Wikipedia user page]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20080329015805/http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Meco My erstwhile user page on the Wikimedia Meta wiki] (links to further subproject user pages are there)
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User:Meco

2021-09-27T10:02:11Z

Meco: and Christian…

''The life story narrative provided below is very incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated toward writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Liadalsveien 25, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-19]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic (non-Crowleyan) Abraxian Apotheosis, and definitely Christian.

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight and thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 minute movies, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a Boy Scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or other) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia of the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My income from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line; that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into it. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS-Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burned CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenaged boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenaged boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving the matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made "illegal pornography" available to minors. When the case was appealed, however, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose, direction, and meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual awakening.

It's 1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo with several thousand participants, mostly adolescent boys.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I'd had little experience with intoxication. A firm non-smoker, I had also never taken much to alcohol. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe, and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of an affiliate, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party was a five-day online networking marathon in which sleep was frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills were all the rage, although anything stronger was strictly taboo. Still, some people snuck off to private areas to do other drugs. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invited me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. He, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I went with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to have been a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallel narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [https://vk.com/id308281243 VK] ''(I can't log in currently)''
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ Wordpress blog]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes/ Disqus]
* [https://gab.ai/Halvor GAB]
* [https://www.flickr.com/photos/28957629@N04/ Flickr]
* [https://www.scribd.com/a22112216 Scribd]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User talk:Meco

2020-10-18T00:41:52Z

Meco: /* You are so cavalier about your personal security */ matter-of-course update

__TOC__
=='''Welcome to ''BoyWiki''!'''==
We hope you will contribute much and well.
You will probably want to read the [[:Category:Help|help pages]].
Again, welcome and have fun! [[User:Etenne|Etenne]] ([[User talk:Etenne|talk]]) 12:13, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

:Thank you!! I'm excited :-) __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 12:23, 31 October 2015 (UTC)
::It is not a good idea to list you real name on your user page. I understand that you are open regarding your sexuality but it is just asking for trouble. --[[User:Etenne|Etenne]] ([[User talk:Etenne|talk]]) 12:54, 2 November 2015 (UTC)
:::I appreciate your advice, however, this is not something I would reconsider. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 14:09, 2 November 2015 (UTC)
::::Glad to see you here. I too am on that short list of WMF-banned users, as Leucosticte. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 03:04, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
:::::A mark of honor, to be sure! I was banned on the Norwegian Wikipedia already in 2007 for not toeing the party line, although the accusations were completely trumped up. Then after more than 50,000 edits I got banned of en-Wiki in 2013 for allegedly being a self-admitted pedophile, and of course earlier this year from Commons and shortly thereafter project-wide in an irrational storm of hysteria with no substantial basis. Anyway, I get the impression that you are taking on the Wikimedia community. I don't bother about that. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 12:11, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
I don't really take them on. I just make it clear where I stand, and that their efforts to get rid of me will only work temporarily. Aside from that, I just do a lot of ban evasion, and I don't let it deter me when they catch me and delete or revert everything.

By the way, I proposed the creation of an RSOL wiki, and a Reform Sex Offender Laws leader tells me, "Nathan, if that wiki is your passion, then by all means go for it! Set it up, complete a few posts, and perhaps share a list of others you would like to write or invite others to write. I can take that to our Communications team (and possibly our Board) and get their input on whether it would be okay to brand as an RSOL enterprise. Even if it should stay on your own server, it could still be something we can link to from our site, though, and we could encourage folks to add to it should they be so inclined. Keep me posted on progress!" Would you be interested in participating in such a project, and if so, in what capacity? At the beginning, we're going to need a lot of content creation, but of course wikignoming is always helpful, and you could be a sysop as well.

What I have in mind is that this wiki could cover a lot of the law- and politics-related content that some people have complained has come to dominate BoyWiki and BoyChat too much. We do have to avoid explicitly advocating for repeal/reform of the age of consent on an RSOL wiki, but we can make a lot of the same arguments about adult-child sex not being harmful to children, as long as we put those arguments in the context of saying that the sentences don't need to be as harsh as they currently are. Note that RSOL doesn't go so far as to support the existence of an age of consent either; they're officially neutral on the subject, and I'd say they want to stay that way. They need to avoid advocating age of consent abolition in order to avoid getting viewed as the new NAMBLA; but on the other hand, I'm sure they have a lot of members (including me) who want the age of consent repealed. Some examples of articles that this wiki could have:
*[[List of incidents of vigilantism against sex offenders]]
*[[Minnesota Sex Offender Program]]
*[[Psychosexual evaluation]]
*[[Sex offender risk assessment]]
*[[Special sex offender sentencing alternative]]
*[[Static-99]]
These are all articles that got deleted from Wikipedia. At this point, so many pedos and pedo sympathizers have been banned from Wikipedia that we need to have our own separate wiki just to cover topics that Wikipedia would've considered notable, if the articles hadn't been written by us. (Any article written by a pedo or pedo-sympathizer is automatically considered a "POV fork," "poorly written," etc.)

Feel free to edit [[ChildWiki]] too, particularly if you want to contribute content that's too edgy for BoyWiki... [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 03:54, 5 November 2015 (UTC)

:Dear Nathan! 
:I'm really not on the same page as you, although I am very sympathetic towards both your industriousness and idealism. I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. As you may have surmised from several of my posts at BoyChat, I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated. 
:Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interesting in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the conflict between the genders. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 17:48, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
::You lost me. Are there some BoyChat posts you'd like to direct my attention to? Yes, I'd be interested in hearing you elaborate. Thanks. 
::By the way, incarcerated girllover Vlad Draconis PenDragon (aka Matthew Mercer-Kinser) has a question: "I think I see what he's saying. But is he suggesting that we sit back and wait for the paradigms to shift? Or does he have some kind of an idea about how we can inspire the change, or hurry it along?" [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 00:33, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
:::The first I posted on this was [http://boychat.org/messages/1459103.htm this thread]. Then also see [http://boychat.org/messages/1459117.htm this] and [http://boychat.org/messages/1459178.htm this], as well as [http://boychat.org/messages/1459122.htm this] from a subsequent thread.
:::As for the Mercer-Kinser quote, I'm a bit confused. Who's he referring to?
:::I'll be happy to elaborate when you've read the post/comments I've linked to and clarified about the Mercer-Kinser quote. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 18:34, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
::::He's referring to you. I gave him the text of those BoyChat posts and he said, "Interesting. But I'm not cool with the idea of just sitting around waiting for this change, that MEco seems to have faith in, to manifest out of thin air." [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 22:24, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
:::::Aha… it was to hard for me to make that connection. To begin to explain to you I would need to explain a little where I'm coming from. You know I was the leader of an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society atheist organization] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173536 off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that ''will'' end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.) 
:::::By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in applied Reichian sex economy, making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the immanentizing of the eschaton. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about holotropic homosexuality). 
:::::From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself. 
:::::Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders. 
:::::How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also eminently deniable. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together. 
:::::This brings us to BoyWiki and the BL community. Pedophilia lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice intergenerational sexual relations with licence which they deny everyone not belong to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 15:50, 8 November 2015 (UTC)

== Petition to Alison and Flyer22 Reborn ==

I propose that we present a petition to Alison and Flyer22 Reborn, and initiate four-party talks with them to resolve longstanding issues. Here is an outline of proposed talking points:
*Although people say pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers don't contribute quality content, Meco has 50,000 edits under your belt, and five of Leucosticte's articles have been featured on the main page (one of which retains FA article status). At least some of our contributions have been independently reviewed and found to be quality work.
*While we acknowledge that we are not entitled to due process as a matter of right, since this is a private website, we believe it would be reasonable to ask for as a courtesy, and that the community would benefit from offering this courtesy.
*Everyone knows that pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers are unlikely to use Wikipedia as a place to groom children for sex. It never happened prior to the creation of the ArbCom and the child protection policy. Although there has been a lot of media attention directed at online "predators" actual instances of such attempted "predation" (in the absence of a To Catch a Predator-style law enforcement sting) are statistically rare, and Wikipedia does not make a particularly suitable venue for seduction because of the openness of posts to public scrutiny and the project's emphasis on encyclopedia-building as opposed to socializing. "Project:Child protection" is a misnomer, as the policy never really was about child protection. It was about caving in to the demands of the gutter press that people with a particular sexual orientation, and their allies, be kicked off of Wikipedia.
*Pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers are given a lifetime ban; this is incompatible with the standard offer, the usual safeguard against long-lasting consequences from ill-advised ban decisions. There should be additional procedural safeguards when a lifetime ban is under consideration, given the high stakes.
*The child protection policy was not approved by the community, and making certain arguments against the child protection policy could be considered grounds for being banned under the terms of the child protection policy itself. This is contrary to the principle of the wiki way, in which consensus can change through free and open discussion.
*To prevent abuses, the ArbCom should be accountable to the users; this is the whole point of ArbCom elections.
*In order for there to be maximum accountability for ArbCom decisions, there needs to be maximum transparency with regard to the basis for those decisions. There also needs to be freedom for users to criticize those decisions without worrying about getting banned for the opinions they express.
*We, the pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers, realize that there is no way that we will receive an outcome that, from our point of view, could be considered substantively just. Therefore, at this point, procedural justice is all we're asking for. It would take the edge off our resentment at how we've been treated, and maybe finally make us willing to leave Wikipedia for a long time, since we'd feel satisfied that we'd been given a fair hearing. We basically want closure, and a chance to make a dissent that we can hope will appeal to the wisdom of a future generation. Banned users will sometimes respect the results of a process, if they believe that the process was respectable.
*What would constitute a fairer process, in our view:
:*The trial should be reasonably '''{{w|speedy trial|speedy}}'''; we shouldn't be expected to refrain from editing for a long period while awaiting trial.
:*Ban-related proceedings (including the initial case and subsequent rehearings and ban appeals) should be '''{{w|public trial|public}}'''. With the exception of checkuser data and other personal identifiers (all of which can be redacted), all evidence that forms the basis for ban-related ArbCom decisions should be made available to the public. The ArbCom should also make public the reasons for its decisions.
:*The initial ban proceedings should be a '''{{w|trial|full trial}}''' like any other ArbCom case. {{w|Summary judgment|Summary proceedings}} are a snare to both the accused and the ArbCom, since the resulting errors (or potential for undiscovered errors, through an inadequate inquiry) can adversely affect the fairness, integrity, and public reputation of the ArbCom.
:*Users should have '''{{w|Speech or Debate Clause|immunity for speech and debate}}''' concerning pending ban-related proceedings, as long as those statements are made civilly and in a non-disruptive way the appropriate forums. Provoking other users to anger through unpopular opinions in these venues should not be construed as disruptive. For example, a user's publicly "expressing the view that inappropriate relationships are not harmful to children" should not result in a block when it takes place in the context of a pending ban-related proceeding.
:*Users who were banned under the old procedures should be given a '''{{w|trial de novo|trial de novo}}''' under the new rules.
:*Trial should be by '''{{w|jury}}'''. The arbitrators should be chosen by {{w|sortition}} (i.e. selecting them by lot from a pool of people whose real-life identities have been confirmed, and who have volunteered for a chance to serve as arbitrators) rather than by election. The turnout rates in ArbCom elections are low, and sortition would help ensure a more representative panel.
*Alison and Flyer22 Reborn should decline to assist in detecting and blocking users who were banned under the old rules, until they have been given new trials, unless they commit new violations of the rules other than ban evasion. The WMF and the ArbCom generally won't be able to enforce the bans without their help.
*Continuing to play whack-a-mole by unmasking sockpuppets and reverting and deleting contributions isn't going to work very well. It's just a feel-good measure, like the {{w|United States embargo against Cuba}}. You can feel good for inflicting pain on those you think deserve it, but if it doesn't accomplish the result you want, what's the point, when you might achieve your goal more effectively by some other means?
They won't accept our offer, but I think it's an important offer to make so that we can show that we suggested something reasonable that they shot down.

We might also mention users like Tyciol and their contributions. Russavia (another prolific editor) could also be affected by this. ChildWiki has some articles on various Wikipedia users, which I should probably bring here. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 03:35, 14 November 2015 (UTC)

:As I've stated previously, I am not going to engage in any energy-requiring efforts to challenge the present WikiMedia hysteria on this topic, however, I find what you have written to be well reasoned and well articulated, so you certainly have my support in presenting it in whatever forums you deem appropriate, and though I won't stand behind it, as such, I can readily be referred to as supportive of the initiative. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 16:20, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
::What are some of the best contributions you've made to Wikipedia? Did you write any "good" or "featured" articles? I see you got recognition for work on {{w|Trial of Anders Behring Breivik}} and {{w|Houla massacre}}. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 01:11, 15 November 2015 (UTC)

== Aren't there degrees of [http://wikiindex.org/Template:WikiStatus user activity]? ==

<blockquote>''Entry by Lysander mored to [[BoyWiki:Agora/12 November 2015]] - this section will be deleted shortly.. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 13:07, 17 November 2015 (UTC)</blockquote>

== Email notifications of recent changes ==

It would probably be pretty easy to develop a bot, which would run on the client side, that would email users whenever there's a new change in RecentChanges. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 05:07, 28 November 2015 (UTC)

== Hi Meco ==

I'm not sure we've talked before. I have read much of your philosophy stuff--very interesting.

You commented on Agora:
:Don't leave spaces between comments, it screws up thread formatting…

I have never noticed that before, or found there to be any problem. How do you see it screwing up the thread formatting? [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:40, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

:I've responded to your question [[BoyWiki:Agora/7 April 2016#Important point for keeping discussions at Agora tidy|here]] adding views to visualize the difference.
:
:As for your appreciation of my writing on cosmology and human purpose, I'm happy that you got some inspiration from it. Feel free to initiate a dialog on any or all parts of it that would seem incongruent or opaque to you! Or, lo and behold, if you feel you could expand or contribute to it in any way! __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 20:13, 7 April 2016 (UTC)

==You are so cavalier about your personal security==
I'm ''absolutely amazed'' that you are so cavalier about your personal security, and that you take the (totally unnecessary) risks that you do. Perhaps you don't mind (personally, I ''would'' mind) becoming a guest (with all expenses paid!) in a state-run institution? [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:44, 7 April 2016 (UTC)
:You are (obviously) using a browser with javascript enabled. That is foolish, to say the least. You are risking your personal security by doing so. Of course, you don't live in one of the [[Axis of evil (dictionary)|"Axis of Evil"]] countries, so perhaps your risk is lessened. In my case it is essential that I ''do'' take all necessary precautions (including the precaution of not giving you any details about why it is necessary for me to take all necessary precautions.) [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:32, 8 April 2016 (UTC)
::Isn't it blindingly obvious to you that I don't attempt to make myself anonymous on the Internet (hint: my name, email address, real life address etc. are plainly displayed atop my user page)? This would include making no effort whatsoever at "hiding my tracks". Is that what you want to discuss, then please initiate a discussion correspondingly. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 20:44, 8 April 2016 (UTC)
:::Please note that I began my last response with the words:
::::''You are (obviously) using a browser with javascript enabled.''
:::The suggestion there is that I, obviously, am ''not''. I then stated that I take all necessary precautions, again indicating that I disable javascript in my browser. Therefore, the javascript app that the Agora depends on "chokes" when I create a new Agora post. Also, the format that ''I'' see on ''my'' screen is (I surmise) quite different from what ''you'' see on ''your'' screen--which explains my confusion about your complaints about my putting "extra lines" in my posts. On ''my'' screen, I see no absolutely no problems originating from those "extra lines," though (apparently) ''you do''. [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:57, 8 April 2016 (UTC)
::::Four and a half years on I just feel like sharing that I'm fine and have been throughout this period. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 00:41, 18 October 2020 (UTC)

==Deleted link==
I removed a link from your user page that linked to images of adult porn. While this is not illegal to do, it is a violation of Free Spirits policy. Also, please keep in mind when posting to BoyWiki that we need to keep the content at a PG13 level. --[[Etenne]] [[File:BLSmileyface.png|50 px|link=Etenne]] 15:52, 11 September 2016 (UTC)
:Sure, I accept that. ____[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 18:38, 12 September 2016 (UTC)

==Editing your page==
Without realizing it was your personal page (wasn't paying attention) I started editing it to improve the English. I did not purposefully change any content. If you like it I will continue. [[User:Wanker|Wanker]] ([[User talk:Wanker|talk]]) 21:30, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
:I don't mind. Thank you for taking the interest! ____[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 21:28, 7 November 2017 (UTC)

ChildWiki

2020-03-07T16:50:28Z

Meco: /* External link */ archived at the Internet Archive

[[File:ChildWiki logo.png|thumb|ChildWiki logo]]
:From ChildWiki, the children's liberation encyclopedia

'''[[ChildWiki]]''' was the [[children's liberation]] encyclopedia that anyone could edit. This site hosted articles, essays and other material concerning the [[philosophy of the children's liberation movement|philosophy]], culture and activities of the global movement to establish [[liberty]], [[equality]], [[justice]], [[tolerance]] and [[personal responsibility]] for all peaceful people, regardless of age. Readers were welcome to contribute [[research]] and [[novel arguments]] that would further [[the search for the truth]].

The wiki was created on 6 November 2013 as ChildWiki.net (a domain that is now defunct). On 10 June 2014, the wiki was taken down, although it was later resurrected. On 21 November 2014, Koavf deleted the ChildWiki page from WikiIndex, an action that was supported by most WikiIndex users who weighed in on the discussion after an objection was raised. On 12 December 2014, ChildWiki was removed from public view again. On 29 August 2015, it was brought back up again (this time as ChildWiki.org) because "now that Newgon Wiki is down, there's a more urgent need for another site that hosts its content."<ref>http://www.boychat.org/messages/1452301.htm</ref> On 24 August 2016, the ChildWiki.org domain was allowed to expire, due to a lack of interest in the wiki. A portable hard drive containing the last known remaining backup of ChildWiki was stolen on 18 July 2018 by burglars claiming to be affiliated with Anonymous.

An unrelated childwiki.com existed from 2008 to 2011, focusing on child care in the non-sexual sense.

==Philosophy==
ChildWiki's creation was motivated by a belief that the [[classical liberal]] school of political thought holds the most promise for protecting the rights of the most vulnerable members of society and giving them the opportunity to reach their full potential. The claim to speak on behalf of "[[children's rights]]" had largely been arrogated by adherents to [[paternalistic]] ideologies who sought to imprison children within a system of "[[stewardship]]" that actually amounted to institutionalized [[slavery]] — both of the chattel variety, in which children were forced to submit to the will of their household masters, and of the [[socialism|socialistic]] kind, in which young people were consigned to the grey, [[bureaucratic]] tyranny of municipal [[government schools|indoctrination centers]], where a pointless, tedious, mind-numbing, soul-crushing, spirit-sapping routine masquerades as instruction.

Some of the people who operate this system truly have good intentions; but this does not make their behavior any more ethical or the results any better. The relentless subjugation of children to the will of parents and teachers, and the forcible stifling of children's efforts to pursue their own interests, breeds resentment and teaches them that [[violence]] and domination by the strong, rather than civilized, peaceful exchanges and voluntary cooperation, are the solution to problems. The system manifests an example of a group choosing by majority vote to oppress the individual; and then people wonder why young people later join criminal gangs or bully those who are different and wish to live by different standards than the herd.

ChildWiki sets forth a vision of a freer society in which children can choose their own destiny. In this society, the role of [[parent]]s and their various [[proxy parent|proxies]] will be to provide guidance and resources (with the [[consent]] of all parties involved) rather than to control. There will be no arbitrary government-imposed distinctions made based on age. Instead, the [[self-ownership]] and [[non-aggression]] principles will be applied equally to all, and children will have the same rights as anyone else to seek out the means of protecting those rights in a [[free marketplace]].

==Motto==
The motto "The Children's Liberation Encyclopedia" emulates the phraseology of the women's liberation movement and is also an ironic takeoff on the terminology of collectivist entities such as "The People's Liberation Army". Wikis are by their nature collectivist entities, in which the collection of articles is a commons tended to by the users, operating under the authority of a (hopefully benevolently) dictatorial site owner. However, it is different from the unethical sort of totalitarian dictatorships in that the users are welcome to leave at any time and set up one or more competing websites without opposition from the wiki from which they withdrew their consent to be governed.

==External link==
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20170613055824/http://childwiki.org/wiki/Main_Page childwiki.org] archived at the Internet Archive

==References==
{{reflist}}

[[Category:Online history]]
[[Category:Wikis]]

User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality

2020-03-07T16:00:14Z

Meco: an update

[[image:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality|center|1500px]]

::::'''''Holotropic homosexuality is the one integral path forward for humanity in accordance with the law of the cosmos and the will of God'''''

'''Holotropic homosexuality''' is what the phrase "sacred homosexuality" could never attain to. It represents the only integral and thus valid approch to the path to humanity's reunification with God.

[[Homosexuality]] is neither a fluke or disease, nor is it simply a discreet part of the spectrum of being human. Homosexuality as manifested and purified in evolved, readied individuals, has a unique function in a universal, cosmic perspective in relation to Creation itself.

Humanity's destiny, and a significant cohort among the spiritually oriented alternative community (and many others as well) realize this, is to transcend itself. The most important aspect to this is transcending duality. This means growing past co-dependency, which is epitomized in [[heterosexuality]] proper; that is the limitation of needing to pair up to become whole. Sure, we still need to actualize this faculty of living in duality-based realities, also, creation will always have the polarity aspects associated with it, i.e. the feminine archetype (the nurturer) and the masculine archetype (the creator, the explorer, the maverick), however, only as individual, independent (on the human level) souls, encompassing the full feminine and masculine ontologies which we have gathered from our incarnations as human beings, are we going to pass through the gate to the next level, one by one, not in pairs.

To briefly explain the sexual attraction aspect, a consolidated homosexual orientation is an imperative prerequisite for such a transformation as is encapsulated in the term 'transcendence' (which is [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/holotropic holotropic] in contradistinction to the term 'ascendence').

Love is the full-spectrum energy of the cosmos, and to be able to complete this transition the one has to manifest love for oneself, including one's own physical body and love including its sexual aspect. In other words, a self-reliant sexual focus is needed in the person going through trancendence. Not being able to manifest sexual attraction for one's own gender in the form of fellow males thus constitutes a non-starter for this process.

A point must also be made here of the assertion that bisexuality is not a solution, as the opposite-gender focus in that is merely a vestige of deprecated heterosexuality, i.e. it is dross in this context.

The notion of holotropic homosexuality is a novelty. It assumes, as the only qualified pretender, the position of forerunner as well as leader on the path onward for humanity, and indeed for humanity in its caretaker role towards all of Creation. To understand why and how this is, one must realize that all pretenses made so far by religious groups, religious forerunners (including prophets and religion founders), by esoteric traditions of the East or of the West, including even the shamanic traditions of indigenous peoples, at best have only been able to point vaguely towards the manifest leadership now being assumed by individuals integrating fully the principle of holotropic homosexuality, at worst, being wholly mistaken (as far as their understanding of their doings). But for all must now come the realization that they have fulfilled their mission which has been to prepare the ground for the advent of holotropic homosexuality, and they must now make a new assessment of their positions in light of this new reality that is being ushered in commensurate with the advent of holotropic homosexuality. This is because this advent establishes unequivocally that worship of any aspect of God other than that which for humanity can only be actualized while realizing the function of holotropic homosexuality, is not only ineffectual but averse and counterprodictive.

==Consequences for cosmologies==
The updates needed to cosmologies necessary for realizing and integrating these developments are the following:

As creation follows creation corresponding exactly to the incremental step from one whole number to the next, so God the Father manifests the fractally compressed crystallized matrix of the preceding emanation as His thought, i.e. the Universe or Creation. However, as each such new incremental dispensation is also accompanied by opening up (inaugurating) a brand new natural number, which happens to be the ordinal number of this Creation in the sequence of Creations (in contradistinction to all the preceding numbers preceding it), this new number will be completely without preset correspondences or associations. Consider that all the previous numbers will have accrued a full array (lattice, matrix) of correspondences along the duration of the preceding Creation. Thus the new number, the ordinal number of our present Creation, represents the unknowns of the present Creation from the perspective of the preceding Creation, the essential new ontology and corresponding phenomena becoming actualized in the present Creation for the first time in the sequence of Creations since the first Creation which had the ordinal number 1. Thus the number of the present Creation, and the ontology which epitomizes it, up until a fundamental, dialectic turning point, is perceived as the ultimate threat and problem: the "monster", from Scandinavian "mönster", meaning pattern, i.e. that which is just short of being grasped fully by the intellect, instead causing a cascade of emotive associations related to repressed ontologies, i.e. "painful memories" on the biographical as well as on the phylogenic past trajectory. All conceptions of ''evil'' and ''sin'' fall back to this phenomenon.

[[image:Fog-79456 640.jpg|center|450px]]

Then, at the turning point of Creation, at the point where all life which has up until then been oriented towards the Creator (God the Father), Life's pioneers, which at this time is Humanity, become conscious of the nature of the procession of God the Father on to His offspring, God the Son, who eventually becomes the next God the Father and so on in perpetuity, or in precise mathematical terms, in transfinity, and in accordance with this realization a cosmic reorientation takes place towards God the Son, i.e. the God the Father to be, and everything, in particular every being, oriented towards Him becomes worshipful.

==Holotropic homosexuals leading humanity==
Human beings integrating holotropic homosexuality constitute the leading figures in the universal movement which is the second and final part of Creation, the contraction towards the next crystallization through the principle of fractal compression (see the work of Dan Winter to get a full understanding of this term in relation to ontology). This phase will be every bit as complex and complicated as the first, expansive phase of Creation, but where the first phase was guided by unknown and unpredictable principles, the second phase is guided by known and consolidated principles. What this means is that this is where the fun begins, the first steps towards the abolishment of senseless violence and suffering without meaning.

The fact is that only very few individuals are truly ready to embrace and integrate holotropic homosexuality in themselves. This means for the others that their role, when they decide to "get with the program", is to define their position and functional relationship towards the phenomenon as well as its manifestation among fellow human beings in what will necessarily become a structured, some of it even a formal, though organically evolving and developing, organization.

==Applied sex economy==
[[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] is the most relevant tool for actualizing one's full, true potential for individuals who wish to align themselves with the ideas and ethos of holotropic homosexuality - whether or not they have a homosexual orientation.

I have recently realized that scientology technology, first and foremost dianetics is likely to be a pendant tool of immense value to this therapeutic process. (That would be independent, so-called Free Zone scientology that has not been subverted by the Church of Scientology.)

==See also==
* [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] – expanding on the present page

User:Meco

2020-01-06T21:07:50Z

Meco: No, I haven't moved, it's just a new street address assigned to the property.

''The life story narrative provided below is very incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated toward writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Liadalsveien 25, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-19]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic (non-Crowleyan) Abraxian Apotheosis

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight and thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 minute movies, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a Boy Scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or other) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia of the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My income from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line; that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into it. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS-Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burned CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenaged boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenaged boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving the matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made "illegal pornography" available to minors. When the case was appealed, however, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose, direction, and meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual awakening.

It's 1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo with several thousand participants, mostly adolescent boys.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I'd had little experience with intoxication. A firm non-smoker, I had also never taken much to alcohol. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe, and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of an affiliate, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party was a five-day online networking marathon in which sleep was frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills were all the rage, although anything stronger was strictly taboo. Still, some people snuck off to private areas to do other drugs. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invited me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. He, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I went with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to have been a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallel narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [https://vk.com/id308281243 VK] ''(I can't log in currently)''
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ Wordpress blog]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes/ Disqus]
* [https://gab.ai/Halvor GAB]
* [https://www.flickr.com/photos/28957629@N04/ Flickr]
* [https://www.scribd.com/a22112216 Scribd]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User:Meco

2019-10-28T19:57:45Z

Meco:

''The life story narrative provided below is very incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated toward writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Herregårdsveien 6K, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-19]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic (non-Crowleyan) Abraxian Apotheosis

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight and thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 minute movies, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a Boy Scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or other) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia of the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My income from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line; that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into it. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS-Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burned CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenaged boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenaged boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving the matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made "illegal pornography" available to minors. When the case was appealed, however, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose, direction, and meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual awakening.

It's 1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo with several thousand participants, mostly adolescent boys.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I'd had little experience with intoxication. A firm non-smoker, I had also never taken much to alcohol. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe, and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of an affiliate, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party was a five-day online networking marathon in which sleep was frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills were all the rage, although anything stronger was strictly taboo. Still, some people snuck off to private areas to do other drugs. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invited me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. He, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I went with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to have been a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallel narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [https://vk.com/id308281243 VK] ''(I can't log in currently)''
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ Wordpress blog]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes/ Disqus]
* [https://gab.ai/Halvor GAB]
* [https://www.flickr.com/photos/28957629@N04/ Flickr]
* [https://www.scribd.com/a22112216 Scribd]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

NAFP

2019-03-17T19:33:36Z

Meco: archived copy

NAFP (Pedofil Arbeidsgruppe i Norge) was a short-lived Norwegian pro-paedophilia organization that was active in the late 70s and early 80s, which aimed to illuminate emotional and sexual bonds between children and adults. The NAFP membership was dominated by [[boylover]]s.

==External links==
*[http://pedofili.info/Bulletin.htm About NAFP (in Norwegian)] (website deactivated) ‒ [https://web.archive.org/web/20160718041211/http://pedofili.info/Bulletin.htm archived copy]

[[Category:Activism]]

User:Meco

2018-08-23T16:19:42Z

Meco:

''The life story narrative provided below is very incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated toward writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Herregårdsveien 6K, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-19]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic Abraxian Apotheosis

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight and thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 minute movies, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a Boy Scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or other) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia of the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My income from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line; that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into it. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS-Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burned CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenaged boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenaged boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving the matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made "illegal pornography" available to minors. When the case was appealed, however, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose, direction, and meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual awakening.

It's 1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo with several thousand participants, mostly adolescent boys.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I'd had little experience with intoxication. A firm non-smoker, I had also never taken much to alcohol. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe, and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of an affiliate, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party was a five-day online networking marathon in which sleep was frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills were all the rage, although anything stronger was strictly taboo. Still, some people snuck off to private areas to do other drugs. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invited me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. He, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I went with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to have been a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallel narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [https://vk.com/id308281243 VK] ''(I can't log in currently)''
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ Wordpress blog]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes/ Disqus]
* [https://gab.ai/Halvor GAB]
* [https://www.flickr.com/photos/28957629@N04/ Flickr]
* [https://www.scribd.com/a22112216 Scribd]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

BoyWiki:Agora/4 April 2018

2018-04-05T16:10:30Z

Meco: /* What's up with BoyChat? */ back up, article needs fixing

=[[BoyWiki:Agora/4 April 2018|Agora/4 April 2018]]=
==What's up with BoyChat?==
The [[BoyChat]] article has a header (created August 2017) stating that the website can only be reached through TOR. Now I cannot access it in any way. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 18:03, 4 April 2018 (UTC)

:Anyway, it's back up now. Still, the article heads-uo should be fixed. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 16:10, 5 April 2018 (UTC)

BoyWiki:Agora/4 April 2018

2018-04-04T18:03:57Z

Meco: Created page with "=Agora/4 April 2018= ==What's up with BoyChat?== The BoyChat article has a header (created August 2017) stating that the website can only be..."

User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony

2017-11-07T21:44:49Z

Meco: Synchronizing with updated ChildWiki page

This text explains how the universe works, the purpose and nature of God and the role of humanity in relation to the universe and to God. In particular, it explains the present window opening for qualified human beings to align and integrate with (become part of) what can aptly be identified as The Kingdom of God on Earth.

Ostensibly it also deals very centrally with our sexual functioning and a deep and holistic ([https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/holotropic holotropic]) approach to human sexuality in a completely new and pervasively transformed paradigm for which [[User:Meco|I]] am so far the only representative (at least to my knowledge). Since the winter of 2005 I have remained firmly anchored in this, which is the new paradigm, to the disparagement of all the world's esotericists and exotericists alike, which must find themselves possibly chasing red herrings, but at the very least to be in trajectories (life paths) that need to become reoriented and anchored to a new foundation. And for some of these paths more or less to be discarded.

The pages [[Applied sex economy]] and [[Holotropic homosexuality]] explain aspects of the cosmology and cosmogony which is detailed here.

==We are at the turning point of Creation==
:''Studying some videos with Dan Winter on phase conjugation and fractal compression will assist you in comprehending the reference to a crystal and information encoded in a crystal, i.e. ''crystallized thought'' that is presented below''.
What we are facing now is, for the first time since the birth of our present universe, a real opportunity to worship God, meaning the personal creator of the universe.

Our universe was created by the release (or explosion rather) of a crystallized thought from the mind of God (the Father). This "thought" is our physical and spiritual universe<ref>there is no set boundary between matter and non-matter, only a border line which is constantly moving in one direction – consider a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contour_line contour line]</ref>. Thus, this is about a movement from absolute cosmos, i.e. order (the crystallized thought prior to manifestation), to absolute chaos when it is let go and thereby inaugurates our universe, until it is once again gathered in absolute cosmos, however this time with God (the Son). Aids to conceptualize this can be a release and subsequent rewinding of a wound coil, with the essential difference that when the coil has been completely unwound, depleted of its stored elastic energy, in our case the structure of the material and shape of the spring is reconfigured and reconstituted before it is rewound. It is also the ''solve et coagula'' of the alchemists (meaning "dissolve and coagulate").

And this is a process which repeats with unending iterations. The son of God becomes God the father in the next round, just the same way our God the father in a previous dispensation was the son of God.

And it is the "same" that happens every time, that is, the general template, the structure of the process if you will, remains the same, but the content is different, enhanced. There's a progression for each new Creation, such that one new dimension (not spatial<ref>actually there is a geometrical aspect relating all of these would-be dimensions, which is manifested in the crystal that is here conceptualized as God's thought which is the basis for Creation or universe</ref> but one of being, ontology) is added each time.

==Iterations==
Our universe is numbered, as is each universe sequentially following one another<ref>what these numbers are, e.g. the actual number of our present Universe, is unknown from our current perspective. It's hard even to speculate which order of magnitude it has, i.e. it could be between 10 and 100, or it could be between 1,000 and 10,000, or perhaps somewhere in the order between 10100 and 10101</ref>. The seed for the new dimension, and the related universe, is directly associated with a natural number (countable) which is the number of the previous universe plus one. As we enter a new universe (from the previous one), the entire series of numbers up until the number of the previous universe will have their full matrices of correspondences<ref>students of kabbalah and numerology will be familiar with the notion of numbers being associated with ideas and concepts. The matrix referred to here is the ultimate, and exhaustive, such set of such correspondences, or attributes</ref>. However, the number of the new universe still stands naked and without any correspondences. At the termination of this universe, this number will be part of a new matrix, and it will then have attained a complete set of correspondences of its own. At this point, it's important to apprehend that this is not simply the old matrix with one new field corresponding to the new number. The entire matrix is renewed (rehashed). Many correspondences will perhaps remain the same, but some (probably many or most) will have been reallocated.

==Evil is that which has not yet been absorbed and integrated==
This new, unknown number constitutes the very core of evil, ''evil'' as pure principle. It is that which always doesn't fit in, and even if we "conquer" parts of it, that is, integrate it into our reality, there will at all times be a remainder not fitting in. Which thus represents evil, or that which is taboo. And a little bit like the game whac-a-mole, chances are that just as one thought that a field was exhaustively conquered, just then a new problem field pops up in an area where one believed oneself to be in full control.

==Numeral systems==
At its core this is about numeral systems as these are the field of expertise of the world's esoteric traditions. Numeral systems are, however, also the specialty of nature, via life's organic unfolding, and this is something we are going to be drawing upon increasingly in the work we are now entering into.

==Esoteric groups anchored in exiting paradigm - God the Father==
All these esoteric groups have in common, that in addition to synthesizing observations made of natural systems, they also consult with the exiting crystal in order to establish their correspondence matrices. This is what they are doing when they draw upon higher spirits, disincarnate beings of wisdom. Because all of these have been produced through triangulations made towards the thought of God (the Father), the perfect information crystal prior to it exploding. And what they thereby do not realize is that these sources of wisdom only have temporary validity, and this transience has an unambiguous expiration date. We are now at this expiration date.

==Our purpose is to constitute the correspondence matrix for the emerging paradigm - God the Son==
Our destiny is to gather ourselves to a new crystal. That means that we are going to assemble a brand new correspondence matrix. That work starts now, led by myself as a practitioner og holotropic homosexuality.

==Reclaiming ontological territory through applied sex economy==
Through applied sex economy I have for about 12 years, with the help of the realizations which Wilhelm Reich documented when in 1927 he wrote the book [http://www.amazon.com/Function-Orgasm-Sex-Economic-Biological-Discovery/dp/0374502048/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1447956325&sr=8-1&keywords=Function+of+the+Orgasm ''The Function of the Orgasm''], conducted a body of body work that has a twofold focus: self therapy and ontological landgrab (Norwegian: ''landnåm''; conquest)

At the second part focus of this work I have continuously cleared paths through areas that so far have been fortified by the esoteric elites (who, as has been told, all have one thing in common in that they all orientate backwards, towards the universe which came before this one and which lacks the number for the current Creation in its correspondence matrix). This has caused a full spectrum of adverse reactions. Thus, in my practice, some of these have been very obvious and limited through dreams that I have had during these past 13 years. Some will have to be bluntly characterized as brutal attacks and have caused the need for a therapeutic component even in their integration. Still, I have integrated all of it. And that is what's so phenomenal about [[applied sex economy|this therapeutic and self-actualization modality]], that it provides the opportunity to head straight into matters as they arise and then to work oneself through it all to a clean resolution, often in a matter of hours.

===A new, exclusive noosphere===
Our thought-space has become cluttered. More and more groups gain access to esoteric technologies, whether basically magical in nature or science-based (e.g. psychotronics, MKULTRA legacy). As I reclaim ontological territory I believe the following will take place at a given juncture. I new thought-space, a noosphere, will be initialized. This noosphere will be completely inaccessible to beings that are not integrated with the establishment of the new paradigm. This will be the new "thinking space" where the work going forward will be consolidated and coordinated. I expect communal thought processes will take place there.

==I am anchored in God the Son==
Consequently, I am anchored in that crystal which we are all going to be part of producing. And as others start to comprehend what is happening these will also integrate themselves into this work, because then we will have a shared perception of reality and can coordinate ourselves organically (functionally). This is the first time in the history of mankind that this kind of competition-free coordination has been possible.

==What's happening next?==
What's going to happen from here on in can from one perspective be described in the way our sexual unions previously dealt either with procreation or with the Luciferian credo "more light", however, then limited to the sequestered "bubble" which is anchored in the "exiting crystal" – that is, to the extent that it wasn't simply about attaining pleasure – and how in the future sexual congregation will be directed towards integrating [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Other The Other] permanently so that a new being is effected, as the synthesis of the two. Thus I and some "Adam" (placeholder male name) will establish a new, fuller (and deeper) human being, a god man, as it were, who has a consciousness which neither of us could achieve on our own. This, new, individual can in arithmetic terms be described in the following way:
<blockquote>If the consciousness of God is 1 then a human being brought to its highest potential can be considered to be a fraction of 1. An example universe consisting of (and only of) sixteen such humans would consequently have individuals with 1/16 of God's consciousness. I make this example simple because we are supposed to also include animals, plants and the rest of the universe in this equation, and I for one am unable to make any sort of approximation as to what size fractions are possessed by these various realms of nature, let alone individual beings or other subdivision patterns within each of them (or that which still isn't assigned to any of them, which we perhaps can assume to be congruent with what astrophysicists refer to as dark matter and dark energy, respectively). Let us therefore envisage me and a would-be "Adam" now have "come together" and Hadamr (since my name is Halvor) as this child could be named now has a consciousness of 2/16, that is 1/8, of God's consciousness. If the others go through with the same sexual union we are going to end up with eight such individual beings. And then all these repeat the process so that we then get to 4 individual beings each with 1/4 consciousness, then 2 individuals with 1/2 consciousness, and then in the end the last two unite. Then the job is done: God the Son is then manifest, and all that has happened during the lifetime of this cosmos will then also be fractally compressed into a crystal – His being. This crystal will also contain the terminated correspondence matrix for the current Creation.</blockquote>

The process of sexual unions in a new paradigm will of course occur in a much more complex way than what I chose as an educational example. We are also going to see combinations of humans and animals, plant, minerals, and so on (note the definition of sex as an energy interaction). And as the variations to the process is so much beyond where we are now, it is possible that this will happen in ways that are now difficult to describe. What's important now is whether we understand the principle guiding this process: the way in which the fragmented consciousness which is constituted via all the elements of the universe combined, step by step will aggregate until unity is finally achieved.

==Sex, sexuality and the sexual energy==
The sexual energy is characterized among other things by its amplitude being higher than the other energies which we usually manifest. And because we all have neurotic character structures (in a sex economical sense), our organisms will to varying degrees and in different ways be only partially able to metabolize these high amplitude energy patterns. Much will trigger secondary reactions of a pathological nature. In the essay "Sex Economy - A Theory of Living Functioning" written by my great grandfather Ola Raknes, who was also a Reich's close co-worker, what characterizes a co-called genital character structure (as opposed to a neurotic one) is described as follows:

<blockquote>To the question, 'What is the function of the genital sexual life?' —we can therefore answer: It is the only complete regulator of the vegetative and therefore the psychic energy tensions. The capacity for genital sexual experience, that is, orgastic potency, is identical with the capacity for a maximal and concentrated working ability and with courage to meet the difficulties which life brings.</blockquote>

Our bodies today generally are not able to operate efficiently at that amplitude of energy where the sexual energy manifests, merely some sequestered zones of our bodies. Only limited regions of the body are – in the worst cases reduced to one point only, in some individuals these regions extend to many points. Still, hardly any, at least not counting adult human beings, have the ability to experience and respond to the sexual energies throughout any conceivable part of the body.

==Emergence of community oriented to God the Son will deplete the incumbent energy matrix of power==
As we expand the community of individuals who are integrated into this new holotropic integrational work, anchored in a common weltanschauung and a common ethical point of reference (the projection of the completion of Creation, the inception of the new crystal and the point of manifestation of God the Son), the esoteric communities will increasingly lose the power. The esoteric communities now realize the time has come for them to step up. The work that they have laid down, in accordance with their own traditions, isn't simply to be abandoned. Quite to the contrary they will experience an intensified rush in the time ahead, however this impetus will arise from a new spring. Their job now turns to finding mechanisms through which their aggregated resources and qualifications can contribute constructively to the work which I have described here to some extent. This will be the most creative and exciting restructuring in history. and the communities that take on the first task with the greatest humility , which is a critical review of their own organization with a correspondingly undogmatic cleanup of what doesn't stand up to the new measures (and possibly not even the old…), will present themselves with the greatest credibility and garner the greatest amount of respect in what is going to be an open and orderly competition between former enemies and strategic allies.

==Ethos of the New Age insufficient==
And working to integrate oneself with nature and Gaia perceived as a deity, will not be sufficient, because all of these are also being recalibrated against the new spiritual anchoring point, and only the human being that is truly God conscious and tuned to the new, pure reference pitch – with a calling to disseminate outwards and downwards, is there.

==The option for women – logion 114==
One particularly important item remains to be pointed out, and that is so delicate that I shall entirely omit discussing it for now: the role of women. Suffice to state that I find that the most constructive angle of approach to this subject is [https://duckduckgo.com/?q=logion+114&t=h logion 114] of the Gospel of Thomas.

==Cultivating God==
I started out by writing that we now for the first time in the history of Creation itself receive an opportunity to worship, as in cultivate, God. This will take place with much the same approach that the conscientious ecological farmer tills his crops and the gardener tends and nurtures his plants, or the way in which the most resourceful and spiritually mature among us are able to bring up their offspring so that they become the human equivalents of refined gems. And the object of this cultivation is the process, and the resources dedicated to it, human or otherwise, that are to be perfected through the successful implementation and completion of yet another work of Creation. This is a functional and rational cultivation or worship, not misunderstood invoking some entity that either isn't constituted or does not function in the way the worshiper imagines.

==References==
{{reflist}}

User:Meco

2017-11-07T21:39:16Z

Meco:

''The life story narrative provided below is very incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated toward writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Herregårdsveien 6K, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-17]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic Abraxian Apotheosis

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight and thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 minute movies, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a Boy Scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or other) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia of the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My income from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line; that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into it. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS-Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burned CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenaged boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenaged boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving the matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made "illegal pornography" available to minors. When the case was appealed, however, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose, direction, and meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual awakening.

It's 1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo with several thousand participants, mostly adolescent boys.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I'd had little experience with intoxication. A firm non-smoker, I had also never taken much to alcohol. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe, and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of an affiliate, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party was a five-day online networking marathon in which sleep was frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills were all the rage, although anything stronger was strictly taboo. Still, some people snuck off to private areas to do other drugs. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invited me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. He, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I went with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to have been a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallel narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [https://vk.com/id308281243 VK] ''(I can't log in currently)''
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ Wordpress blog]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes/ Disqus]
* [https://gab.ai/Halvor GAB]
* [https://www.flickr.com/photos/28957629@N04/ Flickr]
* [https://www.scribd.com/a22112216 Scribd]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User talk:Meco

2017-11-07T21:28:42Z

Meco: /* Editing your page */ No problem

__TOC__
=='''Welcome to ''BoyWiki''!'''==
We hope you will contribute much and well.
You will probably want to read the [[:Category:Help|help pages]].
Again, welcome and have fun! [[User:Etenne|Etenne]] ([[User talk:Etenne|talk]]) 12:13, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

:Thank you!! I'm excited :-) __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 12:23, 31 October 2015 (UTC)
::It is not a good idea to list you real name on your user page. I understand that you are open regarding your sexuality but it is just asking for trouble. --[[User:Etenne|Etenne]] ([[User talk:Etenne|talk]]) 12:54, 2 November 2015 (UTC)
:::I appreciate your advice, however, this is not something I would reconsider. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 14:09, 2 November 2015 (UTC)
::::Glad to see you here. I too am on that short list of WMF-banned users, as Leucosticte. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 03:04, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
:::::A mark of honor, to be sure! I was banned on the Norwegian Wikipedia already in 2007 for not toeing the party line, although the accusations were completely trumped up. Then after more than 50,000 edits I got banned of en-Wiki in 2013 for allegedly being a self-admitted pedophile, and of course earlier this year from Commons and shortly thereafter project-wide in an irrational storm of hysteria with no substantial basis. Anyway, I get the impression that you are taking on the Wikimedia community. I don't bother about that. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 12:11, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
I don't really take them on. I just make it clear where I stand, and that their efforts to get rid of me will only work temporarily. Aside from that, I just do a lot of ban evasion, and I don't let it deter me when they catch me and delete or revert everything.

By the way, I proposed the creation of an RSOL wiki, and a Reform Sex Offender Laws leader tells me, "Nathan, if that wiki is your passion, then by all means go for it! Set it up, complete a few posts, and perhaps share a list of others you would like to write or invite others to write. I can take that to our Communications team (and possibly our Board) and get their input on whether it would be okay to brand as an RSOL enterprise. Even if it should stay on your own server, it could still be something we can link to from our site, though, and we could encourage folks to add to it should they be so inclined. Keep me posted on progress!" Would you be interested in participating in such a project, and if so, in what capacity? At the beginning, we're going to need a lot of content creation, but of course wikignoming is always helpful, and you could be a sysop as well.

What I have in mind is that this wiki could cover a lot of the law- and politics-related content that some people have complained has come to dominate BoyWiki and BoyChat too much. We do have to avoid explicitly advocating for repeal/reform of the age of consent on an RSOL wiki, but we can make a lot of the same arguments about adult-child sex not being harmful to children, as long as we put those arguments in the context of saying that the sentences don't need to be as harsh as they currently are. Note that RSOL doesn't go so far as to support the existence of an age of consent either; they're officially neutral on the subject, and I'd say they want to stay that way. They need to avoid advocating age of consent abolition in order to avoid getting viewed as the new NAMBLA; but on the other hand, I'm sure they have a lot of members (including me) who want the age of consent repealed. Some examples of articles that this wiki could have:
*[[List of incidents of vigilantism against sex offenders]]
*[[Minnesota Sex Offender Program]]
*[[Psychosexual evaluation]]
*[[Sex offender risk assessment]]
*[[Special sex offender sentencing alternative]]
*[[Static-99]]
These are all articles that got deleted from Wikipedia. At this point, so many pedos and pedo sympathizers have been banned from Wikipedia that we need to have our own separate wiki just to cover topics that Wikipedia would've considered notable, if the articles hadn't been written by us. (Any article written by a pedo or pedo-sympathizer is automatically considered a "POV fork," "poorly written," etc.)

Feel free to edit [[ChildWiki]] too, particularly if you want to contribute content that's too edgy for BoyWiki... [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 03:54, 5 November 2015 (UTC)

:Dear Nathan! 
:I'm really not on the same page as you, although I am very sympathetic towards both your industriousness and idealism. I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. As you may have surmised from several of my posts at BoyChat, I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated. 
:Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interesting in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the conflict between the genders. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 17:48, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
::You lost me. Are there some BoyChat posts you'd like to direct my attention to? Yes, I'd be interested in hearing you elaborate. Thanks. 
::By the way, incarcerated girllover Vlad Draconis PenDragon (aka Matthew Mercer-Kinser) has a question: "I think I see what he's saying. But is he suggesting that we sit back and wait for the paradigms to shift? Or does he have some kind of an idea about how we can inspire the change, or hurry it along?" [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 00:33, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
:::The first I posted on this was [http://boychat.org/messages/1459103.htm this thread]. Then also see [http://boychat.org/messages/1459117.htm this] and [http://boychat.org/messages/1459178.htm this], as well as [http://boychat.org/messages/1459122.htm this] from a subsequent thread.
:::As for the Mercer-Kinser quote, I'm a bit confused. Who's he referring to?
:::I'll be happy to elaborate when you've read the post/comments I've linked to and clarified about the Mercer-Kinser quote. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 18:34, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
::::He's referring to you. I gave him the text of those BoyChat posts and he said, "Interesting. But I'm not cool with the idea of just sitting around waiting for this change, that MEco seems to have faith in, to manifest out of thin air." [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 22:24, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
:::::Aha… it was to hard for me to make that connection. To begin to explain to you I would need to explain a little where I'm coming from. You know I was the leader of an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society atheist organization] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173536 off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that ''will'' end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.) 
:::::By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in applied Reichian sex economy, making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the immanentizing of the eschaton. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about holotropic homosexuality). 
:::::From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself. 
:::::Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders. 
:::::How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also eminently deniable. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together. 
:::::This brings us to BoyWiki and the BL community. Pedophilia lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice intergenerational sexual relations with licence which they deny everyone not belong to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 15:50, 8 November 2015 (UTC)

== Petition to Alison and Flyer22 Reborn ==

I propose that we present a petition to Alison and Flyer22 Reborn, and initiate four-party talks with them to resolve longstanding issues. Here is an outline of proposed talking points:
*Although people say pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers don't contribute quality content, Meco has 50,000 edits under your belt, and five of Leucosticte's articles have been featured on the main page (one of which retains FA article status). At least some of our contributions have been independently reviewed and found to be quality work.
*While we acknowledge that we are not entitled to due process as a matter of right, since this is a private website, we believe it would be reasonable to ask for as a courtesy, and that the community would benefit from offering this courtesy.
*Everyone knows that pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers are unlikely to use Wikipedia as a place to groom children for sex. It never happened prior to the creation of the ArbCom and the child protection policy. Although there has been a lot of media attention directed at online "predators" actual instances of such attempted "predation" (in the absence of a To Catch a Predator-style law enforcement sting) are statistically rare, and Wikipedia does not make a particularly suitable venue for seduction because of the openness of posts to public scrutiny and the project's emphasis on encyclopedia-building as opposed to socializing. "Project:Child protection" is a misnomer, as the policy never really was about child protection. It was about caving in to the demands of the gutter press that people with a particular sexual orientation, and their allies, be kicked off of Wikipedia.
*Pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers are given a lifetime ban; this is incompatible with the standard offer, the usual safeguard against long-lasting consequences from ill-advised ban decisions. There should be additional procedural safeguards when a lifetime ban is under consideration, given the high stakes.
*The child protection policy was not approved by the community, and making certain arguments against the child protection policy could be considered grounds for being banned under the terms of the child protection policy itself. This is contrary to the principle of the wiki way, in which consensus can change through free and open discussion.
*To prevent abuses, the ArbCom should be accountable to the users; this is the whole point of ArbCom elections.
*In order for there to be maximum accountability for ArbCom decisions, there needs to be maximum transparency with regard to the basis for those decisions. There also needs to be freedom for users to criticize those decisions without worrying about getting banned for the opinions they express.
*We, the pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers, realize that there is no way that we will receive an outcome that, from our point of view, could be considered substantively just. Therefore, at this point, procedural justice is all we're asking for. It would take the edge off our resentment at how we've been treated, and maybe finally make us willing to leave Wikipedia for a long time, since we'd feel satisfied that we'd been given a fair hearing. We basically want closure, and a chance to make a dissent that we can hope will appeal to the wisdom of a future generation. Banned users will sometimes respect the results of a process, if they believe that the process was respectable.
*What would constitute a fairer process, in our view:
:*The trial should be reasonably '''{{w|speedy trial|speedy}}'''; we shouldn't be expected to refrain from editing for a long period while awaiting trial.
:*Ban-related proceedings (including the initial case and subsequent rehearings and ban appeals) should be '''{{w|public trial|public}}'''. With the exception of checkuser data and other personal identifiers (all of which can be redacted), all evidence that forms the basis for ban-related ArbCom decisions should be made available to the public. The ArbCom should also make public the reasons for its decisions.
:*The initial ban proceedings should be a '''{{w|trial|full trial}}''' like any other ArbCom case. {{w|Summary judgment|Summary proceedings}} are a snare to both the accused and the ArbCom, since the resulting errors (or potential for undiscovered errors, through an inadequate inquiry) can adversely affect the fairness, integrity, and public reputation of the ArbCom.
:*Users should have '''{{w|Speech or Debate Clause|immunity for speech and debate}}''' concerning pending ban-related proceedings, as long as those statements are made civilly and in a non-disruptive way the appropriate forums. Provoking other users to anger through unpopular opinions in these venues should not be construed as disruptive. For example, a user's publicly "expressing the view that inappropriate relationships are not harmful to children" should not result in a block when it takes place in the context of a pending ban-related proceeding.
:*Users who were banned under the old procedures should be given a '''{{w|trial de novo|trial de novo}}''' under the new rules.
:*Trial should be by '''{{w|jury}}'''. The arbitrators should be chosen by {{w|sortition}} (i.e. selecting them by lot from a pool of people whose real-life identities have been confirmed, and who have volunteered for a chance to serve as arbitrators) rather than by election. The turnout rates in ArbCom elections are low, and sortition would help ensure a more representative panel.
*Alison and Flyer22 Reborn should decline to assist in detecting and blocking users who were banned under the old rules, until they have been given new trials, unless they commit new violations of the rules other than ban evasion. The WMF and the ArbCom generally won't be able to enforce the bans without their help.
*Continuing to play whack-a-mole by unmasking sockpuppets and reverting and deleting contributions isn't going to work very well. It's just a feel-good measure, like the {{w|United States embargo against Cuba}}. You can feel good for inflicting pain on those you think deserve it, but if it doesn't accomplish the result you want, what's the point, when you might achieve your goal more effectively by some other means?
They won't accept our offer, but I think it's an important offer to make so that we can show that we suggested something reasonable that they shot down.

We might also mention users like Tyciol and their contributions. Russavia (another prolific editor) could also be affected by this. ChildWiki has some articles on various Wikipedia users, which I should probably bring here. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 03:35, 14 November 2015 (UTC)

:As I've stated previously, I am not going to engage in any energy-requiring efforts to challenge the present WikiMedia hysteria on this topic, however, I find what you have written to be well reasoned and well articulated, so you certainly have my support in presenting it in whatever forums you deem appropriate, and though I won't stand behind it, as such, I can readily be referred to as supportive of the initiative. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 16:20, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
::What are some of the best contributions you've made to Wikipedia? Did you write any "good" or "featured" articles? I see you got recognition for work on {{w|Trial of Anders Behring Breivik}} and {{w|Houla massacre}}. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 01:11, 15 November 2015 (UTC)

== Aren't there degrees of [http://wikiindex.org/Template:WikiStatus user activity]? ==

<blockquote>''Entry by Lysander mored to [[BoyWiki:Agora/12 November 2015]] - this section will be deleted shortly.. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 13:07, 17 November 2015 (UTC)</blockquote>

== Email notifications of recent changes ==

It would probably be pretty easy to develop a bot, which would run on the client side, that would email users whenever there's a new change in RecentChanges. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 05:07, 28 November 2015 (UTC)

== Hi Meco ==

I'm not sure we've talked before. I have read much of your philosophy stuff--very interesting.

You commented on Agora:
:Don't leave spaces between comments, it screws up thread formatting…

I have never noticed that before, or found there to be any problem. How do you see it screwing up the thread formatting? [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:40, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

:I've responded to your question [[BoyWiki:Agora/7 April 2016#Important point for keeping discussions at Agora tidy|here]] adding views to visualize the difference.
:
:As for your appreciation of my writing on cosmology and human purpose, I'm happy that you got some inspiration from it. Feel free to initiate a dialog on any or all parts of it that would seem incongruent or opaque to you! Or, lo and behold, if you feel you could expand or contribute to it in any way! __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 20:13, 7 April 2016 (UTC)

==You are so cavalier about your personal security==
I'm ''absolutely amazed'' that you are so cavalier about your personal security, and that you take the (totally unnecessary) risks that you do. Perhaps you don't mind (personally, I ''would'' mind) becoming a guest (with all expenses paid!) in a state-run institution? [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:44, 7 April 2016 (UTC)
:You are (obviously) using a browser with javascript enabled. That is foolish, to say the least. You are risking your personal security by doing so. Of course, you don't live in one of the [[Axis of evil (dictionary)|"Axis of Evil"]] countries, so perhaps your risk is lessened. In my case it is essential that I ''do'' take all necessary precautions (including the precaution of not giving you any details about why it is necessary for me to take all necessary precautions.) [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:32, 8 April 2016 (UTC)
::Isn't it blindingly obvious to you that I don't attempt to make myself anonymous on the Internet (hint: my name, email address, real life address etc. are plainly displayed atop my user page)? This would include making no effort whatsoever at "hiding my tracks". Is that what you want to discuss, then please initiate a discussion correspondingly. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 20:44, 8 April 2016 (UTC)
:::Please note that I began my last response with the words:
::::''You are (obviously) using a browser with javascript enabled.''
:::The suggestion there is that I, obviously, am ''not''. I then stated that I take all necessary precautions, again indicating that I disable javascript in my browser. Therefore, the javascript app that the Agora depends on "chokes" when I create a new Agora post. Also, the format that ''I'' see on ''my'' screen is (I surmise) quite different from what ''you'' see on ''your'' screen--which explains my confusion about your complaints about my putting "extra lines" in my posts. On ''my'' screen, I see no absolutely no problems originating from those "extra lines," though (apparently) ''you do''. [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:57, 8 April 2016 (UTC)

==Deleted link==
I removed a link from your user page that linked to images of adult porn. While this is not illegal to do, it is a violation of Free Spirits policy. Also, please keep in mind when posting to BoyWiki that we need to keep the content at a PG13 level. --[[Etenne]] [[File:BLSmileyface.png|50 px|link=Etenne]] 15:52, 11 September 2016 (UTC)
:Sure, I accept that. ____[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 18:38, 12 September 2016 (UTC)

==Editing your page==
Without realizing it was your personal page (wasn't paying attention) I started editing it to improve the English. I did not purposefully change any content. If you like it I will continue. [[User:Wanker|Wanker]] ([[User talk:Wanker|talk]]) 21:30, 15 August 2017 (UTC)
:I don't mind. Thank you for taking the interest! ____[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 21:28, 7 November 2017 (UTC)

Pederastic filmography (list)

2016-10-28T16:19:39Z

Meco: Category:Film -> Category:Films

'''Pederastic film''' became a genre in its own right in the 1960s. Literature had explored erotic relationships between men and boys throughout history in works stretching from Strabo to those of [[Thomas Mann]] and Nicholas White. But when the barriers against exploring this side of masculine experience began to come down, and as films gained wider popularity as a media for expression, movies about this aspect of human experience, often of a more or less autobiographical nature, began to arise.

== List ==

* [[Gates to Paradise]], dir. [[Andrzej Wajda]] ([[United Kingdom]], [[1968]]).
* ''L'embrassement avec rosée'' (''A Dewy Embrace''), dir. [[Raymond Lightman]] (France, 1968).
* [[Satyricon]], dir. [[Federico Fellini]] ([[Italy]], [[1969]])
** based upon [[Petronius]]' [[Satyricon]].
* [[Les Amis]] (''The Friends''), dir. [[Gérard Blain]] (France, [[1970]]).
* [[Morte a Venezia]] (''Death in Venice''), dir. [[Luchino Visconti]] (Italy, [[1971]])
** based on the novel by [[Thomas Mann]].
* [[Caltrops!]], dir. Quentin Beck ([[Australia]], [[1973]])
* ''Il Fiore Delle Mille E Una Notte'' (''The Flower Of The [[Thousand and One Nights]]''), dir. [[Pier Paolo Pasolini]] (Italy, [[1974]])
** more generally known as ''Arabian Nights'', the last part of his [[Trilogy of Life]].
* [[Un enfant dans la foule]] (''A Child In The Crowd''), dir. Gérard Blain (France, [[1976]]).
* ''Die Konsequenz'' (''The Consequence''), dir. [[Wolfgang Petersen]] ([[West Germany]], [[1977]])
** based upon the autobiographical novel of the same name, by [[Alexander Ziegler]].
* ''[[Ernesto]],'' dir. [[Salvatore Samperi]] (Italy, [[1979]]), based on the novel [[Ernesto]] by [[Umberto Saba]].
* ''Abuse'', dir. [[Arthur J. Bressan Jr.]] (USA, [[1983]]).
* ''The Bay Boy'', dir. [[Daniel Petrie]] (Canada, [[1984]]).
* ''Burning Secret,'' dir [[Andrew Birkin]] (USA, [[1988]]).
* [[The Everlasting Secret Family]], dir. [[Michael Thornhill]] ([[Australia]], [[1988]]).
* ''Il Sapore Del Grano'' (''The Flavor of Corn''), dir. [[Gianni da Campo]] (Italy, [[1991]]).
* [[Cracker]], episodes "One Day A Lemming Will Fly" and "Best Boys" - Parts 1 & 2 (UK, [[1993]]).
* [[Love & Human Remains]], dir. [[Denys Arcand]] (Canada, [[1993]]).
* [[Voor een verloren soldaat]] (''For A Lost Soldier''), dir. [[Roeland Kerbosch]] ([[The Netherlands]], [[1993]])
** based upon the autobiographical novel by Dutch dancer and choreographer [[Rudi van Dantzig]].
* [[Pretty Boy]], dir. Carsten Sonder ([[Denmark]], 1993)
** a fictional treatment of [[teenage prostitution]].
* [[Chicken Hawk: Men Who Love Boys]], dir. [[Adi Sideman]] ([[USA]], [[1994]])
** independent documentary consisting of interviews with members of [[NAMBLA]].
* ''Iki Haole: Nico's Hawaiian Adventure'', dir. Mike Masterson (USA, [[1995]])
* [[Total Eclipse]], Regie: [[Agnieszka Holland]] (UK, France, Belgium, Italy, 1995)
* [[Pianese Nunzio, 14 anni a maggio]] (''Pianese Nunzio, 14 in May''), dir. [[Antonio Capuano]] (Italy, [[1996]]).
* [[La ville dont le prince est un enfant]] (''The Land Where The King Is A Child]''), television film, dir. [[Christophe Malavoy]] (France, [[1997]]).
* [[Get Real]], dir. [[Simon Shore]] (UK, [[1998]])
** the main character of this coming-of-age-movie has a short affair with a married man.
* [[Gohatto]] (''Taboo''), dir. [[Nagisa Oshima]] ([[Japan]], [[1999]]).
* [[Queer as Folk]] (USA, [[2000]])
** an American television series remake of the British series
* [[Gouttes d'eau sur pierres brûlantes]] (''Water Drops On Burning Rocks'')), dir. [[François Ozon]] (France, 2000).
* [[La virgen de los sicarios]] (''The Virgin Of The Assassins''), dir. [[Barbet Schroeder]] ([[Spain]], France, [[Colombia]], 2000)
** based on the autobiographical novel by Colombian linguist [[Fernando Vallejo]].
* ''Neenoo Loves Nani,'' dir. Leone Ariggne (France, 2000)
* ''Eban & Charley'', dir. [[James Bolton]] (USA, 2000).
* ''[[Chuck & Buck]],'' dir. [[Miguel Arteta]]. (USA, 2000)
* ''[[L.I.E.]] (Long Island Expressway)'', dir. [[Michael Cuesta]] (USA, [[2001]]).
* ''Fremragende Timer'' (''Precious Moments''), dir. [[Lars Daniel Krutzkoff Jacobsen]] (Norway, [[2003]]).
* ''Whole New Thing'', dir. Amnon Buchbinder (Canada, [[2005]])
** A 13 year old student has a crush on his English teacher.
* ''[[The History Boys (film)]],'' dir. [[Nicholas Hytner]] (UK, [[2006]])

== See also ==
* [[Pederasty]]

[[Category:Films| ]]
[[Category:lists]]

List of boy movies

2016-10-28T16:19:09Z

Meco: Category:Film -> Category:Films

Many boylovers enjoy watching films which feature young male actors. [[Boys On Your Screen]] is a site which provides a forum for people interested in discussing such movies. The films that have a red link do not yet have their own page on BoyWiki, please feel free to write a review. Also see: [[:Category:Film]]

Here is a list of films which may be of particular interest to boylovers:


{| border="0" class="toccolours"
|-
! {{MediaWiki:Toc}}
|-
| align="center" |
[[#0-9|0-9]] [[#A|A]] [[#B|B]] [[#C|C]] [[#D|D]] [[#E|E]] [[#F|F]] [[#G|G]] [[#H|H]] [[#I|I]] [[#J|J]] [[#K|K]] [[#L|L]] [[#M|M]] [[#N|N]] [[#O|O]] [[#P|P]] [[#Q|Q]] [[#R|R]] [[#S|S]] [[#T|T]] [[#U|U]] [[#V|V]] [[#W|W]] [[#X|X]] [[#Y|Y]] [[#Z|Z]] __NOTOC__

[[#External links|External links]]
|}

{{box1 start}}
==A==
* [[The Abduction of Zack Butterfield (2011)]]
* [[About a Boy]]
* [[Acla]]
* [[Aksharaya]] (2005) aka A Letter of Fire
* [[All About Ah-Long (1989]]) (Cantonese with optional English subtitles): all about ah-long
::After a 10-year absence the mother of Porky Yeung (Huang Kun Husen) resurfaces wanting to take him away from his father who has raised him.
* [[Alone with Mr. Carter (film)|Alone with Mr. Carter]]
* [[The Annunciation (1984)]] angyali udvozlet
::A surreal account of the history of humanity portrayed entirely by children between the ages of 8 and 12, starting with Adam and Eve!
* [[Artificial Intelligence: AI (2001 film)|Artificial Intelligence: AI]]
*[[At Play in the Fields of the Lord (1991)]]
::Husband and wife evangelical missionaries travel to the Amazonian jungle with their young son Billy (Niilo Kivirinta) to convert the Indians

==B==
* [[Bad News Bears (1976) (Film)]]
*[[Bad News Bears (2005) (Film)]]
* [[Balkonas (2008)]]
* [[Barnens ö (Children's Island) (1980) (Film)|Barnens ö]]
* [[The Beastmaster (film)|The Beastmaster (1982)]] - [[Josh Milrad]] and [[Billy Jacoby]]
* [[Billy Elliot]]
* [[The Boy with Green Hair (film)‎|The Boy with Green Hair]] (1948) (Dean Stockwell)
* [[Brecha (film)|Brecha]]
* [[Brotherly (2008)|Brotherly]]
* [[Brother of Sleep (1995)]] aka Schlafes Bruder
* [[Bumpy]] (1981) (Estonian with optional English subtitles): nukitsamees
::Brother and sister Kusti (Ülari Kirsipuu) and Iti (Anna-Liisa Kurve) are captured by an evil hag when they stray too close to the forest and used as slave labor: Kusti is set to work on the farm, while Iti looks after the hag's mischievous son, whom she names Bumpy (Egert Soll) due to the horn-like bumps on his head.
* [[The Butcher Boy|Butcher Boy, The]]

==C==
* [[Cache Cash (1994) (film)|Cache Cash]]
* [[Ce que le jour doit à la nuit (2012)]]
* [[The Chorus|Chorus, The]]
* [[Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (movie)]]
* [[Child Bride (1938)]]
::A schoolteacher in a rural community campaigns to stop the practice of older men marrying 'young 'uns'. The main attraction is Jennie, played by 12-year-old Shirley Mills, who goes swimming with her (same age) sweetheart Freddie.
* [[The Child of Man (1991)]] aka Cilveka berns
* [[Child of Rage (1992)]]
::A priest and his wife adopt adorable brother and sister Eric (Sam Gifaldi) and Cat (Ashley Peldon), but the girl has terrible outbursts of rage. When they get her into treatment they begin to find out the reason for this.
*[[A Child Went Forth (1941)]]
::Short documentary about a farm that's a summer camp and progressive school for exploration and discovery for young children.
* [[Barnens ö (Children's Island) (1980) (Film)|Children's Island (Barnens Ö)]]
* [[Chronicle of a Boy Alone (1965)]] aka Crónica de un niño solo
* [[Ciske the Rat]]
* [[Clownhouse (1989)]]
::Just before [[Halloween]], Casey (Nathan Forrest Winters) and his two older brothers are alone at home where they are menaced by three escaped mental patients who have murdered some circus clowns and taken their identities.

==D==
* [[Daddy's War (1977]]) aka La guerra de papá
* [[D.A.R.Y.L. (Film)]]
* [[Death in Venice (film)]]
* [[Diary of a Wimpy Kid]]
* [[Don't Cry, It's Only Thunder (1982)]]
::A US Army medic in Saigon becomes emotionally involved with a group of Vietnamese orphans.
* [[Don't Go to Sleep (1982)]]
::After moving to a new house, Mary (Robin Ignico) begins seeing the ghost of her older sister, Jennifer (Kristin Cumming), who died in an accident a year earlier. Oliver Robins plays Mary's younger brother, Kevin.
* [[Dreamspeaker (1976)]] (list of 8): dreamspeaker tracey
::Ian Tracey plays Peter, a disturbed 11-year-old boy who in put in an institution for setting fires. He soon escapes and shacks up with a native Canadian 'dreamspeaker'.
* [[Dunston Checks In (Film)]]
==E==
* [[Edges of the Lord]]
* [[El niño y el muro (1965)]]
* [[El niño y la estrella (1976)]]
* [[E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial]]
* [[En tu Ausencia (film)|In Your Absence (En tu ausencia) (2008)]]
* [[Europa Europa]]

==F==
* [[For a Lost Soldier]]
* [[Freedom is Paradise]]

==G==
* [[The Genesis Children|Genesis Children, The]]
*[[Goodbye Uncle Tom (1971)]] (Italian with English subtitles): addio zio tom
::Pseudo-documentary about Negro slavery in America. Watch the 'director's cut'.
* [[The Good Son]]
* [[Goracy czwartek (1994)]]
* [[Le Grand Chemin (1987)]] aka The Grand Highway (French with English subtitles)
::Louis (Antoine Hubert), a nine-year-old boy from Paris, spends his summer holiday in a small town in Brittany. His mother Claire has lodged him with her girlfriend Marcelle and her husband Pelo while she's having her second baby. There Louis makes friends with Martine (Vanessa Guedj), the ten-year-old girl next door, and learns from her about life.
* [[La guerre des boutons]]
*[[Guter Junge (TV movie)|Guter Junge (2008)]] (German with English subtitles)
:: After his mother's death, 17-year-old Sven moves in with his dad Achim, a taxi driver, who had divorced his mother several years earlier. Achim's girlfriend Julia senses that something is different with Sven. Why does he not have any friends his own age? Why, she wonders, does he always hang around with young boys?

==H==
* [[Halfaouine: Boy of the Terraces (1990)]] (Arabic with English subtitles)
::A coming-of-age comedy/drama set in Tunis about a 12-year-old boy, Noura (Selim Boughedir), who must move from the loving world of Moslem women to the harsher world of men while learning about the opposite sex.
* [[Hans Röckle und der Teufel (1974)]]
* [[Hard Goodbyes: My Father (2002)]] (Greek with optional English or Spanish subtitles): dyskoloi apohairetismoi
::In 1969 Athens, 10-year-old Elias (Yorgos Karayannis) struggles to come to terms with the sudden death of his father.
* [[The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things |Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things, The]]

==I==
* [[I Am David]]
* [[I'm Not Scared]]
* [[The Invisible Children (2001)]] (Spanish with English subtitles): ninos invisibles
::8-year-old Rafael (Guillermo Castañeda) wants to get closer to a girl his own age, so, with the help of two friends, he attempts to make himself invisible by witchcraft.
* [[Invincible Space Streaker (1988)]]

==J==

* [[James (2008)(Short film)]]
* [[Jet Boy]]

==K==
* [[Karik and Valya's Remarkable Adventures (1987)]]
* [[Kes]]

==L==
* [[Leolo]]
* [[L.I.E.]]
* [[Lille Virgil og Orla Frøsnapper (1980)]] aka Little Virgil and Freddy Frogface
* [[Limbo (film)|Limbo]]
* [[Lord of the Flies (1963 film)]]
* [[Lord of the Flies (1990 film)]]
* [[Lost in Siberia (1991)]]
* [[Lucas (film)|Lucas]]
{{box2 start}}

==M==
* [[Malèna]]
* [[The Man Without a Face (film)|Man Without a Face, The]]
* [[Maya (1966)]] - Jay North and Sajid Khan
* [[Maya (2001)]]
* [[Menino Maluquinho 1 (1995)]]
* [[Menino Maluquinho 2 (1998)]]
* [[Messieurs les enfants (1997)]]
* [[Mi niño Tizoc (1972)]]
* [[Mister Blot's Academy (1984)]] (two part film - Polish with English subtitles): akademia pana kleksa
::10-year-old Adam (Slavek Wronka) goes to the eccentric Mister Blot's Academy, where work and play are equally interesting.
* [[Mixed Company (1974)]]
::Comedy about a family that adopts a string of children of different races.
* [[Mondo]]
* [[Moonrise Kingdom]]
* [[Murmur of the Heart]]
* [[My Father's Glory]]
* [[My Mothers's Castle]]
* [[Mysterious Skin]]

==N==
* [[The Naked Island (1960)]] hadaka no shima
::Japanese film with no dialogue about the intolerably hard life of a family with two young boys (played by Shinji Tanaka and Masanori Horimoto), the only inhabitants of a very small island.
* [[The NeverEnding Story (film)]] - Barret Oliver and Noah Hathaway
* [[North Sea Texas (2011) (Film)]]
* [[Novecento]]

==O==
* [[The Odd Life of Timothy Green]]
* [[Oliver!]]
* [[Oliver Twist (2005 film)|Oliver Twist]]
* [[Only Clouds Move the Stars (1998)]]

==P==
* [[Painted Faces (1988)]] (Chinese with English subtitles): painted faces 1988
::Story of the Peking Opera School, the first half of which shows the harsh training given to the boys by their strict master.
* [[Paradise]]
* [[Pelle the Conqueror (Pelle erobreren)]]
* [[Philipp, der Kleine (1978)]] aka Phillip the Small
* [[Pixote]]
* [[Plantation Boy (1965)]] aka Menino de Engenho
* [[Precious Moments (Film)]]
* [[Primaria(film)|Primaria]]

==R==
* [[Radio Flyer]]
* [[The Red Balloon (film)|The Red Balloon]] (1956) (French) Pascal Lamorisse
* [[The Revolt of Job (1983)]] (Hungarian with optional English subtitles): job lazadasa
::Hungary, 1943. An elderly childless Jewish couple adopt Lackó (Gábor Fehér), an unruly Christian boy, to whom they intend to pass on their wealth and traditions before Nazi oppression engulfs the country
* [[Robby (1968) (Film)]]
* [[Ronia: The Robber's Daughter (1984)]] (Swedish with optional English subtitles): ronja henriksson
::11-year-old Ronia (Hanna Zetterberg) lives in mediaeval Scandinavia with her robber chief father and makes friends with 11-year-old Birk (Dan Håfström), son of the sworn enemy of her father. When their relationship is discovered, the children have to learn to live in the woods.

==S==
* [[Second Best]]
* [[Siemiany (2009)]]
* [[Sin destino 2002]] aka Without Destination
* [[Sixth Sense]]
* [[Stand By Me (Film)]]
* [[Suddenly, Last Summer (Film)]]
* [[Sunday's Children]]

==T==

* [[Tarsi se saprug za mama (1985)]] aka A Husband for Mum
* [[Tarzan of the Apes (1918)]]
::After Lord Clayton and his pregnant young wife are shipwrecked off the coast of Africa, a baby is born and raised by apes after his parents die. The young Tarzan is played by Gordon Griffith for the first half of the film.
* [[Terri (2011)]]
::Centers on a large 15-year-old boy in a small town as he struggles to adjust to his difficult life. Some very nice scenes with Bridger Zadina.
* [[This Is It (1971)]]
* [[La tía Alejandra (1979)]] (Spanish with optional English subtitles)
::When old aunt Alejandra goes to live with a Mexican middle-class family they are grateful for the financial help at first, but the old woman is truly a witch, and she turns against them. The children are 13-year-old Malena (Lilian Davis) and her younger brother Andrés (Adonay Somoza Jr.) and sister Martha (María Rebeca).
* [[Tobi el niño con alas (1978)]]
* [[Tom's Midnight Garden]] Starring: Anthony Way
* [[Torrid Noon (1966)]] aka Goreshto Pladne
* [[Tu seras un homme (film)|Tu seras un homme]]
* [[The Tutor (film)|The Tutor]]
::A new free adaptation of Turn of the Screw by Henry James - shows signs of pushing technical, artistic and social boundaries a little further still.
* [[Twins at the Zoo (1989)]] aka Dva lidi v zoo

==U==
* [[Upside Down (1983)]] aka Do góry nogami

==V==
* [[Vuelve (film)|Vuelve]]

==W==
* [[War of the Buttons (1994 film)|War of the Buttons]]
* [[Wavelength (1983)]]
::A young couple decide to liberate a small group of child-like space aliens being held prisoner at a top secret military facility.
* [[The Way, Way Back]]
* [[Wee Dreaming (2009)]]
::Short comedy/drama about 7-year-old Kosmo Wilton who drinks too much soft drink then bets his mother he won't need to pee on a long drive, during which he confronts the futility of his stand with extraordinary consequences. Sasha Wilton is his younger sister.
*[[Weiser (2001)]] (Polish and English with optional English subtitles): weiser
::A middle aged man recalls when he was 12 years old, and he and his friends were affected by tragedy when two other 12-year-olds, Dawid Weiser and Elka disappear after they set off some explosives.
* [[What Color is the Wind (1973)]] aka De que color es el viento
* [[White Mane (Short film)|White Mane]] (1953) (French) Alain Emery
* [[Whole New Thing]]
* [[Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (Film)]]
* [[The World of Ludovic (1993)]] aka De wereld van Ludovic (French with optional English subtitles): de wereld ludovic
::Neglected by his parents, 12-year-old Ludovic (Mathias Coppens) meets and falls in love with 12-year-old Sophie (Bella van Meel), the daughter of a piano teacher.

==Y==
* [[Yeah, Kowalski! (Short film)]]
* [[You Are Not Alone (film)]] aka Du er ikke alene

==Z==
* [[Zucht (2007) (Short film)]]

==0-9==
* [[1er amour (2013)]] Canada
* [[300 Miles to Heaven (1989)]] aka 300 mil do nieba (Polish with optional English subtitles): 300 mil do nieba
::Drama, based on a true story, about teenager Jedrek (Rafal Zimowski) and his younger brother Grzes (Wojciech Klata) who escape from communist Poland all the way to Denmark hidden under a truck.

{{boxes end}}

==External links==
*[http://www.boysonyourscreen.org/ Boys On Your Screen]
*[http://www.boysonyourscreen.org/favorites_2007/favorites_2007.html Favorites films of 2007 from Boys On Your Screen]
*[http://www.boysonyourscreen.org/favorites_2013/favorites_2013.html Favorites films of 2013 from Boys On Your Screen]
*[http://www.imdb.com/list/I_kYwk3e15s/?ref_=tt_rls_1 (IMDb) The ultimate coming of age movie list]
*[http://www.boychat.org/messages/1359293.htm BoyChat Thread on Favorite Films. Help transfer it to this list.]
*[http://tjampoer-adoel.org/shared/movie-pages/archive/quick.html the Movie Pages]

[[de:Liste von Filmen mit Jungs]]
[[fr:Filmographie garçonnière]]
[[Category:Lists]]
[[Category:Films| ]]

Films with references to boylove

2016-10-28T16:18:34Z

Meco:

*In the 1980 film ''Airplane!'', Captain Oever asks a boy passenger, "You ever . . . seen a grown man naked?", "Joey, did ya ever hang around a gymnasium?", and "Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?" He also gives him a model airplane.

[[Category:Films| ]]

Films with references to boylove

2016-10-28T16:18:24Z

Meco: Category:Film -> Category:Films

Category:Films by language

2016-10-28T16:14:26Z

Meco: Category:Film -> Category:Films (revived category)

{{CH}}
[[Category:Films]]

Category:Films by genre

2016-10-28T16:14:00Z

Meco: Category:Film -> Category:Films (revived category)

{{CH}}
[[Category:Films]]

Category:Films

2016-10-28T16:13:25Z

Meco:

{{CH}}
[[Category:Film]]

Category:Films

2016-10-28T16:12:15Z

Meco:

{{CH}}
[[:Category:Film]]

Category:Films

2016-10-28T16:11:44Z

Meco: reviving category

[[:Category:Film]]

Category:Films by type

2016-10-28T16:10:54Z

Meco: Category:Film -> Category:Films (new category)

{{CH}}
[[Category:Films]]

Category:Television series episodes

2016-10-28T16:10:06Z

Meco:

{{CH}}
[[Category:Television series| ]]
[[Category:Films by type]]

Category:Television series episodes

2016-10-28T16:07:56Z

Meco: Created page with " Category:Films by type"

[[Category:Television series| ]]
[[Category:Films by type]]

Among the Sex Offenders

2016-10-28T16:06:28Z

Meco: Category:Television -> Category:Television series episodes, fmt

'''"Among the Sex Offenders"''' is a episode of Louis Theroux's LA Stories in which Louis Theroux talks in depth with paroled sex offenders living on the fringes of LA.

==External link==
*[http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2kbh9c Louis Theroux's LA Stories 3 of 3 Among the Sex Offenders]

[[Category:Television series episodes]]

User:Meco

2016-10-22T15:55:49Z

Meco: /* Online presence: */

''The life story narrative provided below is much incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated towards writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Herregårdsveien 6K, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-17]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic Abraxian Apotheosis

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight/thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 min flics, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a boy scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or rather) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia in the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My gains from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line, that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into this. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS- Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burnt CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenage boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenage boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving that matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made illegal pornography available to minors, however, when the case was appealed, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And, I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose and direction and, meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual waking up.

1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo, several thousand participants, adolescent boys mostly.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I've had little experience with intoxication. A dogmatic non-smoker, I had also never taken to alcohol much. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, the religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of a corollary, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party, a five-day online networking marathon where sleep is frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills are all the rage, although anything stronger is strictly taboo. Still, some people sneak off to private areas to do other stuff. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invites me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. Him, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I go with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to be a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallell narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ my Wordpress blog]
* [http://t.co/3FEVBSqe0c VK] – rarely visited
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes Disqus discussions]
* [https://www.oopih.com/index.php?a=profile&u=halvor Oopih] – ''account closed following me publishing notice from national socialist [https://forum.motgift.nu/users/Halvor/activity forum.motgift.se] blocking me with rationale "Pedophiles, or people who make excuses for pedophiles, arer not welcome on Motgift Forum"''
* ''Link removed... site contains adult porn images which are a violation of FS policy''

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

Boymoment

2016-10-14T14:46:42Z

Meco: Redirected page to BoyMoment.com

#REDIRECT [[BoyMoment.com]]

User:Meco

2016-09-24T17:56:25Z

Meco: /* Online presence: */ my Wordpress blog

''The life story narrative provided below is much incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated towards writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Herregårdsveien 6K, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-17]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic Abraxian Apotheosis

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight/thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 min flics, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a boy scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or rather) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia in the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My gains from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line, that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into this. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS- Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burnt CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenage boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenage boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving that matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made illegal pornography available to minors, however, when the case was appealed, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And, I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose and direction and, meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual waking up.

1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo, several thousand participants, adolescent boys mostly.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I've had little experience with intoxication. A dogmatic non-smoker, I had also never taken to alcohol much. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, the religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of a corollary, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party, a five-day online networking marathon where sleep is frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills are all the rage, although anything stronger is strictly taboo. Still, some people sneak off to private areas to do other stuff. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invites me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. Him, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I go with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to be a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallell narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/ my Wordpress blog]
* [http://t.co/3FEVBSqe0c VK] – rarely visited
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes Disqus discussions]
* [https://www.oopih.com/index.php?a=profile&u=halvor Oopih] – ''account closed following me publishing notice from national socialist [https://forum.motgift.nu/users/Halvor/activity forum.motgift.se] blocking me with rationale "Pedophiles, or people who make excuses for pedophiles, arer not welcome on Motgift Forum"''
* ''Link removed... site contains adult porn images which are a violation of FS policy''
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook] ''(inactive since July 2015 but with much information – locked out as of September 2016, profile unavailable)''

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

Jarle Aase

2016-09-19T19:41:15Z

Meco:

'''Jarle Aase''' is a Norwegian gay rights [[activism|activist]]. He has written two books about his experiences [[boylove|loving boys]] younger than the limit set by society and the persecution he has experienced resulting from this. He has participated actively in the public discourse in [[Norway]], focusing partcularly on the illegal persecution by the law enforcement community which he feels he has endured as well as lies and slander from the news media, particularly in his home town Bergen. Aase doesn't consider himself a [[boylover]], simply that the age limit on whom one is allowed legally to pursue a relationship with is wrong.

Aase is a computer specialist. He has designed several computer applications that are available for free, perhaps most notably the "War FTP Daemon - The original free FTP server for Windows". He is also the co-author of a book on computer hardware and operating systems (published in 2004).

==Bibliography==
* ''Skjønnheten, loven og sannheten'' ("The Beauty, the Law and the Truth"), self-published (2000) – available as free online download
* ''Voldtektsløgnen : en solskinnshistorie om politi, presse, karakterdrap og en løgn'' ("The Rape Lie: a Sunshine Tale about Police, the Media, Character Assassination and a Lie"), self-published (2010) – available as free online download

==External links==
* [https://www.jgaa.com/ jgaa.com] – Jarle Aase's home page
* [https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15702216.Jarle_Aase Goodreads author's profile]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Aase, Jarle}}
[[Category:Norway]]

Jarle Aase

2016-09-18T20:51:56Z

Meco:

'''Jarle Aase''' is a Norwegian gay rights [[activism|activist]]. He has written two books about his experiences [[boylover|loving boys]] younger than the limit set by society and the persecution he has experienced resulting from this. He has participated actively in the public discourse in [[Norway]], focusing partcularly on the illegal persecution by the law enforcement community which he feels he has endured as well as lies and slander from the news media, particularly in his home town Bergen.

Aase is a computer specialist. He has designed several computer applications that are available for free, perhaps most notably the "War FTP Daemon - The original free FTP server for Windows". He is also the co-author of a book on computer hardware and operating systems (published in 2004).

Aase is currently living in [[Bulgaria]].

==Bibliography==
* ''Skjønnheten, loven og sannheten'' ("The Beauty, the Law and the Truth"), self-published (2000) – available as free online download
* ''Voldtektsløgnen : en solskinnshistorie om politi, presse, karakterdrap og en løgn'' ("The Rape Lie: a Sunshine Tale about Police, the Media, Character Assassination and a Lie"), self-published (2010) – available as free online download

==External links==
* [https://www.jgaa.com/ jgaa.com] – Jarle Aase's home page
* [https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15702216.Jarle_Aase Goodreads author's profile]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Aase, Jarle}}
[[Category:Norway]]
[[Category:Twentieth century boylovers]]
[[Category:Twenty-first century boylovers]]

Norway

2016-09-18T18:10:12Z

Meco: /* Interesting legal cases */ removed undocumented (and basically unverifiable information)

[[Image:17. mai- Smiling boys.JPG|thumb|right|Boys from Oslo's west end celebrating [[17. mai|Norway's independence day]].]]

[[Norway]] is a country in Scandinavia and Northern [[Europe]]. Its major cities include the capital Oslo, Bergen, Trondheim, Stavanger, and Tromsø.

==Boyloving in Norway==
For boylovers, Norway is a relatively comfortable society to live in. While minor-attracted adults are not free of suspicion, hysteria is nowhere near the levels seen in the [[United States]]. Men can work with children without running a great risk of being subject of a [[witch hunt]]. Indeed, [[kindergarten]]s are hard at work trying to recruit more men as caretakers. However, a police background check is required for many positions, even volunteering.

Even though sexual relations between adults and children are considered to be extremely harmful for the younger part, many people do have a more relaxed attitude to "natural [[child sexuality]]". There have not been many reports of children "molesting" their peers; on the contrary there are several experts in the media that have openly advised parents to avoid making children feel guilty about their sexuality (other than telling them that sexuality is something that should be private).

In spite of this relatively bright outlook, there are frightening tendencies to be seen. Legislature is fearful of being seen as complacent in face of [[child sexual abuse]], and on 20 May 2005, the Parliament adopted a radical [[child pornography|child-pornography]] law that outlawed all descriptions that sexualize children, regardless of whether the events described actually happened. After the [http://www.lovdata.no/ltavd1/filer/nl-20050520-029.html new law] was passed and immediately took effect, textual and audio representations are also counted as child pornography. [http://www.stortinget.no/otid/2004/o050411-03.html The discussion in the Parliament] consisted mainly of the representatives congratulating each other on the unanimity of the vote.

Redd barna (the Norwegian division of [[Save the Children]]) has advocated publicizing the identities of [[sex offender]]s. The lawyer [[Tor Erling Staff]] has strongly defended the current privacy laws and customs, which prevent such an act.

Young boylovers look forward to their graduation from secondary school. The celebrations traditionally entail dressing in bright costumes and buying hundreds of '''[[russekort]]''' (visiting cards), most of which go to little boys as collector's items. For seventeen days in May, the boylover finds himself stalked by little boys whose eyes can spot a red-clad ''russ'' from a surprising distance.

==Interesting legal cases==
*The [[Bjugn case]], in which a man was first sentenced for [[sexual abuse|sexually abusing]] dozens of children, but then found not guilty on all counts several years later

==Things to experience in Norway==
Norway's constitution day, '''[[17. mai]]''', is renowned among boylovers for its children's parade, and some make travel arrangements specifically with that date in mind.

==Sports==
Boys in Norway enjoy all sorts of sports, but the most popular are without a doubt football and snow sports.

A few years ago it was uncommon for a boy not to play football in the child leagues. Nowadays interests have diversified somewhat, but even if a boy does not himself play, one can still almost count on him to follow at least one, if not several, Norwegian and European leagues. For the teams that participate, [[Norway Cup]] is the event of the year, drawing players from more than 40 nations in a seven-day football fest.

Winter sports, such as cross-country or alpine skiing and snowboarding, are very popular, and skiing has ancient traditions in Norway.

==Famous Norwegian loved boys==

==See also==
*[[17. mai]], Norway's constitution day
*[[Norway Cup]]

==External links==
*[http://www.lovdata.no/ltavd1/filer/nl-20050520-029.html The new child-pornography law] (in Norwegian)
*[http://www.stortinget.no/otid/2004/o050411-03.html Discussions in the Parliament before passing the new child-pornography law] (in Norwegian)

[[Category:Norway]]

Jarle Aase

2016-09-18T18:02:11Z

Meco: Created page with "'''Jarle Aase''' is a Norwegian boylover. He has written two books about his experiences being a boylover, his loves and the persecution he has experienced resulting from..."

'''Jarle Aase''' is a Norwegian [[boylover]]. He has written two books about his experiences being a boylover, his loves and the persecution he has experienced resulting from this. He has participated actively in the public discourse in [[Norway]], focusing partcularly on the illegal persecution by the law enforcement community which he feels he has endured as well as lies and slander from the news media, particularly in his home town Bergen.

Aase is a computer specialist. He has designed several computer applications that are available for free, perhaps most notably the "War FTP Daemon - The original free FTP server for Windows". He is also the co-author of a book on computer hardware and operating systems (published in 2004).

Aase is currently living in [[Bulgaria]].

==Bibliography==
* ''Skjønnheten, loven og sannheten'' ("The Beauty, the Law and the Truth"), self-published (2000) – available as free online download
* ''Voldtektsløgnen : en solskinnshistorie om politi, presse, karakterdrap og en løgn'' ("The Rape Lie: a Sunshine Tale about Police, the Media, Character Assassination and a Lie"), self-published (2010) – available as free online download

==External links==
* [https://www.jgaa.com/ jgaa.com] – Jarle Aase's home page
* [https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15702216.Jarle_Aase Goodreads author's profile]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Aase, Jarle}}
[[Category:Norway]]
[[Category:Twentieth century boylovers]]
[[Category:Twenty-first century boylovers]]

Norway

2016-09-18T18:01:52Z

Meco: /* Famous Norwegian loved boys */ he's a lawyer, not a loved boy

[[Image:17. mai- Smiling boys.JPG|thumb|right|Boys from Oslo's west end celebrating [[17. mai|Norway's independence day]].]]

[[Norway]] is a country in Scandinavia and Northern [[Europe]]. Its major cities include the capital Oslo, Bergen, Trondheim, Stavanger, and Tromsø.

==Boyloving in Norway==
For boylovers, Norway is a relatively comfortable society to live in. While minor-attracted adults are not free of suspicion, hysteria is nowhere near the levels seen in the [[United States]]. Men can work with children without running a great risk of being subject of a [[witch hunt]]. Indeed, [[kindergarten]]s are hard at work trying to recruit more men as caretakers. However, a police background check is required for many positions, even volunteering.

Even though sexual relations between adults and children are considered to be extremely harmful for the younger part, many people do have a more relaxed attitude to "natural [[child sexuality]]". There have not been many reports of children "molesting" their peers; on the contrary there are several experts in the media that have openly advised parents to avoid making children feel guilty about their sexuality (other than telling them that sexuality is something that should be private).

In spite of this relatively bright outlook, there are frightening tendencies to be seen. Legislature is fearful of being seen as complacent in face of [[child sexual abuse]], and on 20 May 2005, the Parliament adopted a radical [[child pornography|child-pornography]] law that outlawed all descriptions that sexualize children, regardless of whether the events described actually happened. After the [http://www.lovdata.no/ltavd1/filer/nl-20050520-029.html new law] was passed and immediately took effect, textual and audio representations are also counted as child pornography. [http://www.stortinget.no/otid/2004/o050411-03.html The discussion in the Parliament] consisted mainly of the representatives congratulating each other on the unanimity of the vote.

Redd barna (the Norwegian division of [[Save the Children]]) has advocated publicizing the identities of [[sex offender]]s. The lawyer [[Tor Erling Staff]] has strongly defended the current privacy laws and customs, which prevent such an act.

Young boylovers look forward to their graduation from secondary school. The celebrations traditionally entail dressing in bright costumes and buying hundreds of '''[[russekort]]''' (visiting cards), most of which go to little boys as collector's items. For seventeen days in May, the boylover finds himself stalked by little boys whose eyes can spot a red-clad ''russ'' from a surprising distance.

==Interesting legal cases==
*The [[Bjugn case]], in which a man was first sentenced for [[sexual abuse|sexually abusing]] dozens of children, but then found not guilty on all counts several years later
*A case where a kindergarten teacher was fired for [[coming out]] publically as a [[pedophile]], but his dismissal was found invalid since it was based on [[discrimination]] on grounds of [[sexual orientation]]

==Things to experience in Norway==
Norway's constitution day, '''[[17. mai]]''', is renowned among boylovers for its children's parade, and some make travel arrangements specifically with that date in mind.

==Sports==
Boys in Norway enjoy all sorts of sports, but the most popular are without a doubt football and snow sports.

A few years ago it was uncommon for a boy not to play football in the child leagues. Nowadays interests have diversified somewhat, but even if a boy does not himself play, one can still almost count on him to follow at least one, if not several, Norwegian and European leagues. For the teams that participate, [[Norway Cup]] is the event of the year, drawing players from more than 40 nations in a seven-day football fest.

Winter sports, such as cross-country or alpine skiing and snowboarding, are very popular, and skiing has ancient traditions in Norway.

==Famous Norwegian loved boys==

==See also==
*[[17. mai]], Norway's constitution day
*[[Norway Cup]]

==External links==
*[http://www.lovdata.no/ltavd1/filer/nl-20050520-029.html The new child-pornography law] (in Norwegian)
*[http://www.stortinget.no/otid/2004/o050411-03.html Discussions in the Parliament before passing the new child-pornography law] (in Norwegian)

[[Category:Norway]]

User:Meco

2016-09-18T17:21:36Z

Meco: /* Online presence: */ reordered

''The life story narrative provided below is much incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated towards writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Herregårdsveien 6K, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-17]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic Abraxian Apotheosis

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight/thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 min flics, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a boy scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or rather) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia in the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My gains from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line, that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into this. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS- Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burnt CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenage boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenage boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving that matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made illegal pornography available to minors, however, when the case was appealed, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And, I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose and direction and, meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual waking up.

1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo, several thousand participants, adolescent boys mostly.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I've had little experience with intoxication. A dogmatic non-smoker, I had also never taken to alcohol much. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, the religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of a corollary, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party, a five-day online networking marathon where sleep is frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills are all the rage, although anything stronger is strictly taboo. Still, some people sneak off to private areas to do other stuff. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invites me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. Him, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I go with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to be a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallell narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [http://t.co/3FEVBSqe0c VK] – rarely visited
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes Disqus discussions]
* [https://www.oopih.com/index.php?a=profile&u=halvor Oopih] – ''account closed following me publishing notice from national socialist [https://forum.motgift.nu/users/Halvor/activity forum.motgift.se] blocking me with rationale "Pedophiles, or people who make excuses for pedophiles, arer not welcome on Motgift Forum"''
* ''Link removed... site contains adult porn images which are a violation of FS policy''
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook] ''(inactive since July 2015 but with much information – locked out as of September 2016, profile unavailable)''

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User:Meco

2016-09-18T17:20:44Z

Meco: /* Online presence: */ one less

''The life story narrative provided below is much incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated towards writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Herregårdsveien 6K, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-17]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic Abraxian Apotheosis

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight/thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 min flics, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a boy scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or rather) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia in the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My gains from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line, that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into this. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS- Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burnt CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenage boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenage boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving that matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made illegal pornography available to minors, however, when the case was appealed, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And, I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose and direction and, meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual waking up.

1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo, several thousand participants, adolescent boys mostly.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I've had little experience with intoxication. A dogmatic non-smoker, I had also never taken to alcohol much. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, the religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of a corollary, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party, a five-day online networking marathon where sleep is frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills are all the rage, although anything stronger is strictly taboo. Still, some people sneak off to private areas to do other stuff. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invites me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. Him, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I go with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to be a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallell narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://www.oopih.com/index.php?a=profile&u=halvor Oopih] – ''account closed following me publishing notice from national socialist [https://forum.motgift.nu/users/Halvor/activity forum.motgift.se] blocking me with rationale "Pedophiles, or people who make excuses for pedophiles, arer not welcome on Motgift Forum"''
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [http://t.co/3FEVBSqe0c VK] – rarely visited
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* ''Link removed... site contains adult porn images which are a violation of FS policy''
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook] ''(inactive since July 2015 but with much information – locked out as of September 2016, profile unavailable)''
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes Disqus discussions]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User talk:Meco

2016-09-12T18:38:55Z

Meco: /* Deleted link */ ok

__TOC__
=='''Welcome to ''BoyWiki''!'''==
We hope you will contribute much and well.
You will probably want to read the [[:Category:Help|help pages]].
Again, welcome and have fun! [[User:Etenne|Etenne]] ([[User talk:Etenne|talk]]) 12:13, 31 October 2015 (UTC)

:Thank you!! I'm excited :-) __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 12:23, 31 October 2015 (UTC)
::It is not a good idea to list you real name on your user page. I understand that you are open regarding your sexuality but it is just asking for trouble. --[[User:Etenne|Etenne]] ([[User talk:Etenne|talk]]) 12:54, 2 November 2015 (UTC)
:::I appreciate your advice, however, this is not something I would reconsider. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 14:09, 2 November 2015 (UTC)
::::Glad to see you here. I too am on that short list of WMF-banned users, as Leucosticte. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 03:04, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
:::::A mark of honor, to be sure! I was banned on the Norwegian Wikipedia already in 2007 for not toeing the party line, although the accusations were completely trumped up. Then after more than 50,000 edits I got banned of en-Wiki in 2013 for allegedly being a self-admitted pedophile, and of course earlier this year from Commons and shortly thereafter project-wide in an irrational storm of hysteria with no substantial basis. Anyway, I get the impression that you are taking on the Wikimedia community. I don't bother about that. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 12:11, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
I don't really take them on. I just make it clear where I stand, and that their efforts to get rid of me will only work temporarily. Aside from that, I just do a lot of ban evasion, and I don't let it deter me when they catch me and delete or revert everything.

By the way, I proposed the creation of an RSOL wiki, and a Reform Sex Offender Laws leader tells me, "Nathan, if that wiki is your passion, then by all means go for it! Set it up, complete a few posts, and perhaps share a list of others you would like to write or invite others to write. I can take that to our Communications team (and possibly our Board) and get their input on whether it would be okay to brand as an RSOL enterprise. Even if it should stay on your own server, it could still be something we can link to from our site, though, and we could encourage folks to add to it should they be so inclined. Keep me posted on progress!" Would you be interested in participating in such a project, and if so, in what capacity? At the beginning, we're going to need a lot of content creation, but of course wikignoming is always helpful, and you could be a sysop as well.

What I have in mind is that this wiki could cover a lot of the law- and politics-related content that some people have complained has come to dominate BoyWiki and BoyChat too much. We do have to avoid explicitly advocating for repeal/reform of the age of consent on an RSOL wiki, but we can make a lot of the same arguments about adult-child sex not being harmful to children, as long as we put those arguments in the context of saying that the sentences don't need to be as harsh as they currently are. Note that RSOL doesn't go so far as to support the existence of an age of consent either; they're officially neutral on the subject, and I'd say they want to stay that way. They need to avoid advocating age of consent abolition in order to avoid getting viewed as the new NAMBLA; but on the other hand, I'm sure they have a lot of members (including me) who want the age of consent repealed. Some examples of articles that this wiki could have:
*[[List of incidents of vigilantism against sex offenders]]
*[[Minnesota Sex Offender Program]]
*[[Psychosexual evaluation]]
*[[Sex offender risk assessment]]
*[[Special sex offender sentencing alternative]]
*[[Static-99]]
These are all articles that got deleted from Wikipedia. At this point, so many pedos and pedo sympathizers have been banned from Wikipedia that we need to have our own separate wiki just to cover topics that Wikipedia would've considered notable, if the articles hadn't been written by us. (Any article written by a pedo or pedo-sympathizer is automatically considered a "POV fork," "poorly written," etc.)

Feel free to edit [[ChildWiki]] too, particularly if you want to contribute content that's too edgy for BoyWiki... [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 03:54, 5 November 2015 (UTC)

:Dear Nathan! 
:I'm really not on the same page as you, although I am very sympathetic towards both your industriousness and idealism. I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. As you may have surmised from several of my posts at BoyChat, I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated. 
:Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interesting in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the conflict between the genders. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 17:48, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
::You lost me. Are there some BoyChat posts you'd like to direct my attention to? Yes, I'd be interested in hearing you elaborate. Thanks. 
::By the way, incarcerated girllover Vlad Draconis PenDragon (aka Matthew Mercer-Kinser) has a question: "I think I see what he's saying. But is he suggesting that we sit back and wait for the paradigms to shift? Or does he have some kind of an idea about how we can inspire the change, or hurry it along?" [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 00:33, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
:::The first I posted on this was [http://boychat.org/messages/1459103.htm this thread]. Then also see [http://boychat.org/messages/1459117.htm this] and [http://boychat.org/messages/1459178.htm this], as well as [http://boychat.org/messages/1459122.htm this] from a subsequent thread.
:::As for the Mercer-Kinser quote, I'm a bit confused. Who's he referring to?
:::I'll be happy to elaborate when you've read the post/comments I've linked to and clarified about the Mercer-Kinser quote. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 18:34, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
::::He's referring to you. I gave him the text of those BoyChat posts and he said, "Interesting. But I'm not cool with the idea of just sitting around waiting for this change, that MEco seems to have faith in, to manifest out of thin air." [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 22:24, 7 November 2015 (UTC)
:::::Aha… it was to hard for me to make that connection. To begin to explain to you I would need to explain a little where I'm coming from. You know I was the leader of an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society atheist organization] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173536 off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that ''will'' end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.) 
:::::By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in applied Reichian sex economy, making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the immanentizing of the eschaton. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about holotropic homosexuality). 
:::::From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself. 
:::::Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders. 
:::::How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also eminently deniable. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together. 
:::::This brings us to BoyWiki and the BL community. Pedophilia lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice intergenerational sexual relations with licence which they deny everyone not belong to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 15:50, 8 November 2015 (UTC)

== Petition to Alison and Flyer22 Reborn ==

I propose that we present a petition to Alison and Flyer22 Reborn, and initiate four-party talks with them to resolve longstanding issues. Here is an outline of proposed talking points:
*Although people say pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers don't contribute quality content, Meco has 50,000 edits under your belt, and five of Leucosticte's articles have been featured on the main page (one of which retains FA article status). At least some of our contributions have been independently reviewed and found to be quality work.
*While we acknowledge that we are not entitled to due process as a matter of right, since this is a private website, we believe it would be reasonable to ask for as a courtesy, and that the community would benefit from offering this courtesy.
*Everyone knows that pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers are unlikely to use Wikipedia as a place to groom children for sex. It never happened prior to the creation of the ArbCom and the child protection policy. Although there has been a lot of media attention directed at online "predators" actual instances of such attempted "predation" (in the absence of a To Catch a Predator-style law enforcement sting) are statistically rare, and Wikipedia does not make a particularly suitable venue for seduction because of the openness of posts to public scrutiny and the project's emphasis on encyclopedia-building as opposed to socializing. "Project:Child protection" is a misnomer, as the policy never really was about child protection. It was about caving in to the demands of the gutter press that people with a particular sexual orientation, and their allies, be kicked off of Wikipedia.
*Pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers are given a lifetime ban; this is incompatible with the standard offer, the usual safeguard against long-lasting consequences from ill-advised ban decisions. There should be additional procedural safeguards when a lifetime ban is under consideration, given the high stakes.
*The child protection policy was not approved by the community, and making certain arguments against the child protection policy could be considered grounds for being banned under the terms of the child protection policy itself. This is contrary to the principle of the wiki way, in which consensus can change through free and open discussion.
*To prevent abuses, the ArbCom should be accountable to the users; this is the whole point of ArbCom elections.
*In order for there to be maximum accountability for ArbCom decisions, there needs to be maximum transparency with regard to the basis for those decisions. There also needs to be freedom for users to criticize those decisions without worrying about getting banned for the opinions they express.
*We, the pedophiles and pedo-sympathizers, realize that there is no way that we will receive an outcome that, from our point of view, could be considered substantively just. Therefore, at this point, procedural justice is all we're asking for. It would take the edge off our resentment at how we've been treated, and maybe finally make us willing to leave Wikipedia for a long time, since we'd feel satisfied that we'd been given a fair hearing. We basically want closure, and a chance to make a dissent that we can hope will appeal to the wisdom of a future generation. Banned users will sometimes respect the results of a process, if they believe that the process was respectable.
*What would constitute a fairer process, in our view:
:*The trial should be reasonably '''{{w|speedy trial|speedy}}'''; we shouldn't be expected to refrain from editing for a long period while awaiting trial.
:*Ban-related proceedings (including the initial case and subsequent rehearings and ban appeals) should be '''{{w|public trial|public}}'''. With the exception of checkuser data and other personal identifiers (all of which can be redacted), all evidence that forms the basis for ban-related ArbCom decisions should be made available to the public. The ArbCom should also make public the reasons for its decisions.
:*The initial ban proceedings should be a '''{{w|trial|full trial}}''' like any other ArbCom case. {{w|Summary judgment|Summary proceedings}} are a snare to both the accused and the ArbCom, since the resulting errors (or potential for undiscovered errors, through an inadequate inquiry) can adversely affect the fairness, integrity, and public reputation of the ArbCom.
:*Users should have '''{{w|Speech or Debate Clause|immunity for speech and debate}}''' concerning pending ban-related proceedings, as long as those statements are made civilly and in a non-disruptive way the appropriate forums. Provoking other users to anger through unpopular opinions in these venues should not be construed as disruptive. For example, a user's publicly "expressing the view that inappropriate relationships are not harmful to children" should not result in a block when it takes place in the context of a pending ban-related proceeding.
:*Users who were banned under the old procedures should be given a '''{{w|trial de novo|trial de novo}}''' under the new rules.
:*Trial should be by '''{{w|jury}}'''. The arbitrators should be chosen by {{w|sortition}} (i.e. selecting them by lot from a pool of people whose real-life identities have been confirmed, and who have volunteered for a chance to serve as arbitrators) rather than by election. The turnout rates in ArbCom elections are low, and sortition would help ensure a more representative panel.
*Alison and Flyer22 Reborn should decline to assist in detecting and blocking users who were banned under the old rules, until they have been given new trials, unless they commit new violations of the rules other than ban evasion. The WMF and the ArbCom generally won't be able to enforce the bans without their help.
*Continuing to play whack-a-mole by unmasking sockpuppets and reverting and deleting contributions isn't going to work very well. It's just a feel-good measure, like the {{w|United States embargo against Cuba}}. You can feel good for inflicting pain on those you think deserve it, but if it doesn't accomplish the result you want, what's the point, when you might achieve your goal more effectively by some other means?
They won't accept our offer, but I think it's an important offer to make so that we can show that we suggested something reasonable that they shot down.

We might also mention users like Tyciol and their contributions. Russavia (another prolific editor) could also be affected by this. ChildWiki has some articles on various Wikipedia users, which I should probably bring here. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 03:35, 14 November 2015 (UTC)

:As I've stated previously, I am not going to engage in any energy-requiring efforts to challenge the present WikiMedia hysteria on this topic, however, I find what you have written to be well reasoned and well articulated, so you certainly have my support in presenting it in whatever forums you deem appropriate, and though I won't stand behind it, as such, I can readily be referred to as supportive of the initiative. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 16:20, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
::What are some of the best contributions you've made to Wikipedia? Did you write any "good" or "featured" articles? I see you got recognition for work on {{w|Trial of Anders Behring Breivik}} and {{w|Houla massacre}}. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 01:11, 15 November 2015 (UTC)

== Aren't there degrees of [http://wikiindex.org/Template:WikiStatus user activity]? ==

<blockquote>''Entry by Lysander mored to [[BoyWiki:Agora/12 November 2015]] - this section will be deleted shortly.. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 13:07, 17 November 2015 (UTC)</blockquote>

== Email notifications of recent changes ==

It would probably be pretty easy to develop a bot, which would run on the client side, that would email users whenever there's a new change in RecentChanges. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 05:07, 28 November 2015 (UTC)

== Hi Meco ==

I'm not sure we've talked before. I have read much of your philosophy stuff--very interesting.

You commented on Agora:
:Don't leave spaces between comments, it screws up thread formatting…

I have never noticed that before, or found there to be any problem. How do you see it screwing up the thread formatting? [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:40, 5 April 2016 (UTC)

:I've responded to your question [[BoyWiki:Agora/7 April 2016#Important point for keeping discussions at Agora tidy|here]] adding views to visualize the difference.
:
:As for your appreciation of my writing on cosmology and human purpose, I'm happy that you got some inspiration from it. Feel free to initiate a dialog on any or all parts of it that would seem incongruent or opaque to you! Or, lo and behold, if you feel you could expand or contribute to it in any way! __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 20:13, 7 April 2016 (UTC)

==You are so cavalier about your personal security==
I'm ''absolutely amazed'' that you are so cavalier about your personal security, and that you take the (totally unnecessary) risks that you do. Perhaps you don't mind (personally, I ''would'' mind) becoming a guest (with all expenses paid!) in a state-run institution? [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:44, 7 April 2016 (UTC)
:You are (obviously) using a browser with javascript enabled. That is foolish, to say the least. You are risking your personal security by doing so. Of course, you don't live in one of the [[Axis of evil (dictionary)|"Axis of Evil"]] countries, so perhaps your risk is lessened. In my case it is essential that I ''do'' take all necessary precautions (including the precaution of not giving you any details about why it is necessary for me to take all necessary precautions.) [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:32, 8 April 2016 (UTC)
::Isn't it blindingly obvious to you that I don't attempt to make myself anonymous on the Internet (hint: my name, email address, real life address etc. are plainly displayed atop my user page)? This would include making no effort whatsoever at "hiding my tracks". Is that what you want to discuss, then please initiate a discussion correspondingly. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 20:44, 8 April 2016 (UTC)
:::Please note that I began my last response with the words:
::::''You are (obviously) using a browser with javascript enabled.''
:::The suggestion there is that I, obviously, am ''not''. I then stated that I take all necessary precautions, again indicating that I disable javascript in my browser. Therefore, the javascript app that the Agora depends on "chokes" when I create a new Agora post. Also, the format that ''I'' see on ''my'' screen is (I surmise) quite different from what ''you'' see on ''your'' screen--which explains my confusion about your complaints about my putting "extra lines" in my posts. On ''my'' screen, I see no absolutely no problems originating from those "extra lines," though (apparently) ''you do''. [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 20:57, 8 April 2016 (UTC)

==Deleted link==
I removed a link from your user page that linked to images of adult porn. While this is not illegal to do, it is a violation of Free Spirits policy. Also, please keep in mind when posting to BoyWiki that we need to keep the content at a PG13 level. --[[Etenne]] [[File:BLSmileyface.png|50 px|link=Etenne]] 15:52, 11 September 2016 (UTC)
:Sure, I accept that. ____[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 18:38, 12 September 2016 (UTC)

User:Meco

2016-09-08T18:04:56Z

Meco: /* Online presence: */ add/updated

''The life story narrative provided below is much incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated towards writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Herregårdsveien 6K, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-17]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic Abraxian Apotheosis

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight/thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 min flics, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a boy scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or rather) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia in the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My gains from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line, that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into this. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS- Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burnt CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenage boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenage boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving that matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made illegal pornography available to minors, however, when the case was appealed, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And, I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose and direction and, meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual waking up.

1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo, several thousand participants, adolescent boys mostly.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I've had little experience with intoxication. A dogmatic non-smoker, I had also never taken to alcohol much. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, the religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of a corollary, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party, a five-day online networking marathon where sleep is frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills are all the rage, although anything stronger is strictly taboo. Still, some people sneak off to private areas to do other stuff. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invites me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. Him, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I go with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to be a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallell narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://www.oopih.com/index.php?a=profile&u=halvor Oopih]
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [http://t.co/3FEVBSqe0c VK]
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [http://mecoclubtour.tumblr.com/ Tumblr] ''(warning: explicit)''
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook] ''(inactive since July 2015 but with much information – locked out as of September 2016, possibly unavailable)''
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]
* [https://disqus.com/by/HalvorRaknes Disqus discussions]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User:Meco

2016-08-13T18:43:41Z

Meco: caveat

''The life story narrative provided below is much incomplete, and the most significant elements are still lacking from it. I vacillate, however, between finishing it or removing it. I'm not really motivated towards writing an autobiography.''
[[File:800px-Holotropic Homosexuality.png|Holotropic Homosexuality]]

'''Name:''' '''Halvor (Raknes)''' 
'''Nationality:''' Norwegian 
'''Address:''' Herregårdsveien 6K, Oslo, Norway 
'''Email:''' a22112216@yahoo.com 
'''Phone:''' none 
'''Age:''' {{age|1964|3|13}} 
'''[[AOA]]:''' [[TBL|13-17]] (actually, I just like boys, any age, as long as the present boyness in large amounts) 
'''Religion:''' Thelemic Abraxian Apotheosis

==Intro==
I am a devoted servant of God. I work with God. I am God. I am in God. If you can relate to or wish to relate to this quaternity, you will be able to entertain a relationship with me.

I consider myself to be a mononymous person, i.e. Halvor is the only full name I recognize for myself.

==My background with respect to boys and sex==
Ever since I attained [[puberty]] I was attracted to and sexually aroused by the sight/thought of boys ([[Ephebophilia|pubescent, not prepubescent]]). So, with the money I got for my 13th birthday I ran downtown and bought myself a Super 8 mm film projector and two 10 min flics, one with two boys, 14 and 15 years old, and one with a boy, about the same age, who as a boy scout knocks on the door of an older woman (in order to sell something or rather) who subsequently seduces him. After this I continued to be a high-volume consumer of gay pornography with a preference for pubescent boys. Before the Internet started up and I got on it (in early 1994), I had never before encountered child pornography. It did not take long before I discovered the gay porn channels on IRC with names such as #gayteengifs. I purchased a 28k8 leased line around 1995-96 to enable me to remain online 24/7. So I started to collect erotic and pornographic photos of boys, still no prepubescent. As I gradually became aware that there was a pedophiliac presence on the net, I looked this up out of curiosity and genuine interest for what this was all about. It was subsequent to this that I began accepting a few images that went below, agewise, what I had previously received. Due to the illicit nature of this trade and the high level of paranoia in the men who had a particular interest in this, I closed off a part of my then [[wikipedia:File Transfer Protocol|FTP site]] for such trade, giving out separate access to people who were particularly interested in exchanging either nude photos of prepubescent boys (aroused or not), photos showing such young boys engaged sexually with each other, or pictures of adult men having sex with these young boys. With regards to the legal pictures, they were of the same kind that I presented openly in image galleries on [https://web.archive.org/web/19990508155208/http://home.powertech.no/halvorj/ my personal home page], which I believe had 800,000 visitors as early as 1995. I did charge money for access to my “legal” connection from people who weren’t trading (remember that this all started as a trader-collector activity on [[wikipedia:Internet Relay Chat|IRC]] using the DCC protocol), I believe $25 for six months access (I don’t remember exactly). My gains from this approximately covered my expenses for the leased phone line, that’s how I justified to myself taking that money. And since all the people who ever had access to the youngest pictures were already into this activity of exchanging (or trading, as the term was, it was a fully reciprocal process) them, pay was never considered. Besides, I was quite conscious that there were ethical considerations involved, not to mention criminal, so I did not want to provide access to this material to people that were not already into this. All my [[Child pornography|child pornographic]] images were hidden on my hard drive by an encryption protocol which in some respects is similar to [[wikipedia:Pretty Good Privacy|PGP]], which was called SFS- Secure File System. So, when I was arrested in November 1998 and all my computers impounded, the police were never able to find this material. The reason for my arrest was somewhat unrelated to this. It involved a burnt CD which contained heterosexual porn which some teenage boys who had been in my apartment asserted that they had received from me. That CD was an anomaly as I had never cared for naked women or girls. It had been left (forgotten maybe) by a teenage boy whom I had become acquainted with, and when some other teenage boys (a little younger, around 14) were in my home, they discovered it and asked if they could borrow it. Not giving that matter much thought I said fine. I was convicted in the lower courts for having made illegal pornography available to minors, however, when the case was appealed, I was acquitted as it became unclear whether the CD presented in court was the same which I had had in my apartment (and which I had barely glanced at).

===Backlash===
So, consequently, my enthusiasm for Internet pornography waned rapidly. In fact, I experienced what can probably best be described as pornography exhaustion. Having abused my eroticism with audiovisual voyeurism through pornography for my entire adult life, I experienced a spiritual dearth where my life had become very bland, I hadn’t had any dreams for years, and I was completely deprived of the ability to make visualizations in my mind. And, I lost my sexual drive to a significant, and to me alarming, degree. In fact, I went to see a sexologist. He in turn prescribed psychotherapy, and for a few years I regularly went to see a shrink to try and untangle my life and gain some sort of purpose and direction and, meaning. Probably an important factor for the big changes that were then to take place in my life also was my having begun to experiment with cannabis in 1997, at the age of 33. Through 2003 I did a lot of this drug. In the meanwhile I also tried out ecstacy and amphetamine, and I discovered House music.

==Spiritual rebirth==
Until my first experiments with illegal, recreational drugs, I had little experience with either bliss, ecstasy or had any spiritual or religious experiences. That is, I have since come to clearly realize that I did in fact have a seminal spiritual experience, probably when I was around 4 years old.

<blockquote>''I'm sitting or lying on a bright green lawn, all senses infused with the richness of the fresh grass. Then I remember seeing spheres, though I'm not in the same location as I had been. I am in a completely different space surrounded by iridescent spheres, reminding me of soap bubbles, but different, perhaps more solid. Also there is order, the spheres being of varying sizes, I think, and geometry and symmetry, I'm in the symmetry axis. I had the strong feeling that this was a separate reality. a deeper level reality than the everyday world I am used to…''</blockquote>

The memory of this experience fades as childhood wanes and I only remember this incident decades later in connection with my spiritual waking up.

1997, I'm 33 years old, it's Easter, I'm at a huge computer party outside Oslo, several thousand participants, adolescent boys mostly.<ref>[https://flic.kr/s/aHsk7AppD5 my photos from TG97 or TG98]</ref> I've been immersed in this community since 1993 when I was finishing my studies to become a registered nurse, which coincided with me buying my first PC and the opening up of the Internet. Up to this point I've had little experience with intoxication. A dogmatic non-smoker, I had also never taken to alcohol much. The number of times I'd been drunk was very low. I'm very opposed to drugs, and for the past three years I've been the leader of a national atheist organization, the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norwegian_Heathen_Society Norwegian Heathen Society]. I'm no hardline atheist, more of an agnostic. Basically I haven't been pondering much the depths of life, the universe and reality. Though I'm by no means a shallow person, I've just not been exposed to such depths. We all of course figured those "depths" were all products of delusional fantasies arising out of a need for "emotional crutches". Whereas we were rational, taking on the real issues of the world, the religious people were all attempting to escape facing reality, creating instead their own self-delusional havens. This group was not the big Norwegian humanist/atheist organization, it was more of a corollary, focusing on youthful activism, trying to raise public awareness of abuses taking place in the name of religion and criticizing the concept of religion from a rational, skeptical perspective, often using humor as a primary communication tool (we published several issues of the comic ''Jesus Kristus & Co'' with a layout imitating ''Donald Duck & Co'' (always tremendously [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaldism#Norway popular in Norway])) and being known for showing up in the buzzling center of Oslo on sunny Saturday afternoons, inviting mostly Christians (Muslims hadn't yet become dominant like today) to debate us spontaneously. A lot of memorable interchanges thus took place over the years drawing large crowds as listeners and onlookers.

The computer party, a five-day online networking marathon where sleep is frowned upon and energy drinks and stay-awake pills are all the rage, although anything stronger is strictly taboo. Still, some people sneak off to private areas to do other stuff. For some reason a friend, a 19-year old boy at the periphery of the crowd I usually hung with, invites me to smoke cannabis out in the parking lot. Him, a classmate and me. With the trance of the whole setting I go with the offer. I remember the frost on the asphalt looking like diamonds having been spread all over. It was a magical experience.

This seems to be a one-time happening. It's only two years later that I again come into contact with drugs. I'm having a brief but intense relationship with a 16-year old boy. The odds are all stacked against it working out for the long haul, his social environment becomes more and more suspicious about the nature of our relationship, and he soon buckles under that pressure. For several years I've been open about my sexuality, even as it pertains to adolescents. It ends in tears and excruciating heartache, at least the latter component on my part. Funny thing, even as we break apart, his best friend now becomes my friend. He's not an object of my heart's desires, but he's a very nice guy, very tolerant and easygoing, and he's having serious problems at home were he lives with his troubled single mom. Still lingering in the emotional aftermath of the torn relationship I invite him to stay at my apartment. He ends up staying for a year, sleeping in his clothes slouching in a reclining armchair. I implore him to at least lie down on the couch, but the armchair remains his sleeping accommodations. In any case, we become good friends, and we experiment with smoking hashish, then marijuana, and we have loads of fun doing so. This becomes a habit for me which endures past him moving out and the two of us being bosom buddies. I love what I consider a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9gWA491H4U higher state of consciousness]. My brain fizzles, I become immensely creative, I start reading all sorts of stuff on the Internet, I write aphorisms, I start going to house parties, dancing all night long becomes an exalted passion. The world, reality, life, the universe, all opens up to me.

===Wooed by the dark side===
There's a parallell narrative that I need to flesh out. At one time during my tenure as head of the Norwegian heathens our board receives an invitation from a Norwegian pagan group. As I learn later learn, the author of that invitation is also a member of the occult group O.T.O. In any case, our board politely turns the invitation down as we do not consider us in any way, shape or form spiritually inclined, although our organization carries the ambiguous name of ''heathen''.

Around the same time I'm being contacted on the Internet by someone who presents himself as [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marco_Dimitri Marco Dimitri]. He tells me he's an Italian 15-year-old boy, and he's obviously interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I don't remember in which forum this contact unfolded, but it must have been one among several teenage gay-oriented online chat venues which I spent a lot of my time in. Dimitri tells me about his organization, ''Bambini di Satana'' – "children of Satan", explaining that they aren't really Satanists, its more a cultural association. I sense no ulterior motives or deception to begin with, but then I come across some information on the web informing me that Dimitri is not 15 years old, rather he's one year older than me. As I confront him with this he ashamedly admits the deception, excusing himself with assuming that I probably wouldn't be romantically interested in him had I known he was in fact an adult. And of course, my fascination with this "fifteen-year old" who's been speculating whether perhaps he could hitch a ride with a long-haul trailer going north across Europe in order to come and stay with me immediately vanishes. (By the way, I started and wrote most of the Wikipedia biographical article linked to above.) At this stage I do not even consider that there could be an ulterior motive along spiritual or occult lines to this. I have no frame of reference to even contemplate myself being targeted for such reasons. I end our contact right there.

Probably around the turn of the millennium I find myself having accrued some new friends. For the past year or so I've been going to dance parties, increasingly being enamored by the community which surrounds these events, very many embracing a lifestyle where the acronym PLUR (standing for ''peace'', ''love'', ''unity'', ''respect'') epitomize some of the core values, a sub-culture living high on a vibe of love, on a strong sense of community, and all of it powered by electronic dance music, and to a large, extent illicit drugs, foremost cannabis, amphetamine (speed) and ecstasy (MDMA). And I've been embracing all of it full on, ravenously actually. On weekends and sometimes during the week (as my work as a night ward nurse in municipal home-based care will allow) I go out dancing or hang out with friends who share the same passion for this partying lifestyle. It's somewhere in the thick of this hectic period of buoyant life expression that I find myself with some new friends. It started out with people with a foothold in the computer scene where I had up until then been a central character<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20020223080800/http://home.powertech.no/norbot/grunnlov.php #norges grunnlov] (''in Norwegian'')</ref><ref>[http://www.gathering.org/tg98/irc/ tg98 irc] (''in Norwegian'')</ref>, but imperceptibly other people started becoming part of my inner social circle. One of these was an avid member of the occult society Ordo Templi Orientis, often only referred to as the O.T.O. It wasn't his affiliation with this group that was at the fore of what he introduced me to, rather it was a zeal to get into the quirky workings of reality itself employing an array of methodologies that was until then completely oblivious to. And he freely shared much of what he was into, including lots of links to information on the Internet. He was a fearless [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/psychonaut psychonaut], a term I was also hitherto unacquainted with. Soon I was to become one as well. My focus pretty fast zoned in on the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entheogen entheogenic] aspect with an emphasis on the literal meaning of the term, i.e. actualizing the emergence of the God within, or coming into contact with divinity with these chemicals or herbs as helpers. That is, in these early stages of psychic exploration godhead or the existence of God wasn't realized, that acute realization didn't come until probably around 2002. In the beginning of this phase my focus was pure exploration, trying to learn and experience as much as I could about a new reality that was fast unfolding before me. The realization that life as I had conceptualized it until then was just a cramped and confined space compared to the vast gave me an incredible rush and a strong incentive to keep exploring and mapping this new territory.

Actually, all of this really isn't about being wooed by the dark side as I wish to discuss in this section of my tale. What I intended to shed light on, as it were, when I used the term "the dark side" in this context, is occultists and occult communities, what in esoteric parlance is often referred to as the "left path". I have a sharp axe to grind with these communities, in fact, grinding that axe has turned out to be a core sgment of my mission, For that reason I want to detail the occasions and ways that these have actively injected themselves onto my path, openly or insidiously, scenarios where I get the sense that individuals or groups are actively and purposefully targeting my attention, possibly even attempting to influence my choices, that exploration.

So back to my friend who eagerly introduced me to the left hand side as he was then exploring it and as far as I know has continued to go deeper and deeper into the darkness. I remain to date unsure whether him getting into my life was planned or not. Our ways parted ostensibly in 2003, but my interactions with O.T.O people continued and became conflicted. I met him again a few years later, and I spent a couple of hours in his company then. His behavior on that occasion was peculiar in the extreme, and it even prompted me to bring up in conversation the practice of using "stop words" that is employed among practitioners of sado-masochism as a safety mechanism to prevent unwanted trauma, simply because I experienced his behavior at that time so erratic and so abrupt in a very dark manner that I weren't sure he was fully prepared to or able to respect my integrity. Obviously, when someone is deep into some esoteric self-transforming process, like the dark bhakti yoga he had been practicing, and the particular phase of it he was at that time possibly immersed in, eccentric and frightening behavior can occur, and normal rules and expectations can not be taken for granted. That's why I wanted to draw his attention to us meeting at that particular time and that since I was not at all aware of where he was and what he was up to at that moment, ontologically speaking, a certain measure of consideration for my personal integrity would have to be acceded by him if we were to hang out together. In any case, I wasn't able to establish rapport and I got more and more the impression that he was in no congenial frame of mind towards me, so we soon parted ways on that afternoon. Whether he was antagonistic towards me or simply too absorbed in his own work to be able to focus on me I couldn't tell. The next time I saw was probably around 2010. He was standing on the entrance stairs of the main branch of the municipal library staring at me approaching. Did he attempt to look threatening? It looked that way to me. Anyway, I headed straight for him but he turned and disappeared.

My interactions with the guy above should, perhaps be considered in combination with my strained relationship with another member of Oslo O.T.O. He's been said to be their secretary and also accused by an infamous Illuminati whistle-blower (i.e by his own account) of having perpetrated some egregious persecution of him. Anyway, nothing really concerning me, except that I had met both of these two characters in the gnostic congregation in Oslo around 2004. Not together though. Still, when the whistleblower activities started in 2006-2007 it caught my attention, and I began chronicling his outpourings and developing activities. This led to me soon having enough information to write a separate wiki page about the O.T.O secretary. To make a long, sordid story short, I apparently became his new Nemesis. The guy who had been posting, more or less erratically the allegations against him didn't seem to to irk him much any longer, but I who had collated the information and presented it in a coherent fashion became the target of his frustrations, leading to a number of threats and incidents during the following years. Anyway, the website with all of this material has recently disappeared, so now one would have to dig into the Internet Archive in order to locate [https://web.archive.org/web/20120615180211/http://en.xiandos.info/John_Faerseth that particular article].

Funny coincidence though, just I am writing this and looking at several related web pages, I learn that the owner of the now defunct website, whom I learned to know as early as 1994-95 here in Norway, when he was 15 years old and part of the same online community consisting of mostly nerds and hackers that I had become acquainted with, we have not been on personal terms since the late 1990s though, this guy and the O.T.O. guy I was telling about a little earlier, he who introduced me to much occult, they both apparently now live in the same tiny Swedish city not far beyond the border with Norway, a little over 250 km from Oslo. I wonder…

Enough about these individuals. I will return to esoteric groups on the dark side injecting themselves into my life, at least that's how it appears to me, a little later on.

:''more to come…''

==About my current work==
I was the leader of an [[wikipedia:Norwegian Heathen Society|atheist organization]] here in Norway. That was in the mid-90s. The following years I moved into areas of being [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzUm0wqhE7E off the beaten track], having several extraordinary experiences. In fact, by the early 2000s I set myself one goal (among many) of making an exhaustive catalog of states of human consciousness. I began investigating the deep basis of various religious and spiritual traditions, while all the time pondering the concept of God and the notion of a foundation of reality upon which everything else is structured. I did this mostly with the adjuvant use of cannabis, but later also extremely profound breathing techniques. The latter granted me on one particular occasion (in the fall of 2004) an amazing visionary tour of the ontology of pedophilia, which made me see the core of the phenomenon even to the extreme of males who are inescapably attracted to toddlers and babies in ways that will end them up with repeated and very long prison sentences. By 2005 I had amassed a convergent perception of the godhead as a moving target which could not be inspected or beheld but only approached through an organic process which also made the life of the subject converge with the full spectrum of life energies permeating the universe. (Remember that Reich showed how the sexual energy is a preeminent manifestation of the life energy.)

By 2005 my working method had also found its final, and present, form in [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|applied Reichian sex economy]], making both the use of psychoactive substances and structured breathing techniques deprecated (and being far superior to any methodical meditational or yogic practices). And by then I had also realized that what I was doing was in fact the manifestation of the [[wikipedia:Immanentize the eschaton|immanentizing of the eschaton]]. In explicit terms, that "God" was going to make himself unequivocally manifest in the world with myself as the focal point (you could also say that the Son of God was being born into the world as God the Father (the Creator) at the same time abdicated his throne - this is explained in some detail on the page about [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]]).

From late 2003 until about 2008-9 (when it ceased its open activities - largely due to my participation, I suspect) I was an active member of the gnostic congregation here in the Norwegian capital. Through this communal interface, but combined with my studies of various esoteric communities, I acquired a deep-seated understanding of the common basis for all esoteric/occultist/mystical practices. In particular, it was contrasting this with what I had learned from the teachings of Wilhelm Reich (in particular from my great grandfather's perspicacious popularizing accounts, he was a close and long-term associate of Reich) with the common basis of all these traditions which pervades all the world's power structures, that I realized that these had now all been defeated and that they were going to find themselves hierarchically subordinated to myself.

Now that's the stuff megalomania, self-aggrandizement and savior complexes are made of, some would surely object. Well, I'm not psychotic in the very least, I'm soundly anchored in consensus reality, at least to the extent necessary for social interaction on a rational basis (which doesn't necessarily equate with no conflicts). I'm not the least bit neurotic. In fact, my mental and emotional health is unblemished, and I have the capacity to endure psychological stress far beyond other people. With my now clearly realized vocation always in mind, I am therefore readily positioning myself, time and time again, into precipitous locations, knowing full well that my task is to evoke the incongruous, conflicted energies and subjugate them, concurrently absorbing and integrating their ideological and emotional components, and as a corollary making my unchallengeable status acutely emblazoned on erstwhile power holders.

How do I know I hold the attention of these would-be esoteric power elites? The answer is two-fold: firstly, through my dreams. Since the beginning of 2004 (ostensively) I have had a panoply of bizarre dreams fitting into several fairly clear-cut categories. One of these categories is attack dreams where I am being subjected to traumatizing events, some of these have the, to me, rather clear signatures of military intelligence or some of the esoteric communities. Another category brings me inside these closed elites to experience practices and from a first-person perspective the ideologies and emotional structures of their top echelons. It is all very elucidating, but of course, it is all also [[wikipedia:Plausible deniability|eminently deniable]]. Well, it really doesn't matter, what I am doing is not contingent on ordinary people believing what I say to be true and supporting me. My power comes from these elites themselves as they voluntarily yield to the ultimate presence of the coming manifestation of God. What is the second factor which grants me certitude? Well, logic actually. It all fits into the cosmology and cosmogony which I have realized. Although I don't have all details, nor all the connections, in place, I do apprehend the extremes (and have a realization of contiguity). And they are the connections between God, man and the universe. Not always, and not at any one instance exhaustively (at least not yet), and specifically not on demand, but certainly when I am inspired and incentivized to do so, I am able to explain lucidly to any somewhat intelligent person how these matters come together.

This brings us to [[BoyWiki]] and the [[Boylover community]]. [[Pedophilia]] lives vibrantly among the world's power elites. They practice [[Intergenerational relationship|intergenerational sexual relations]] with impunity which they deny everyone not belonging to their elite hierarchies. The world is growing increasingly aware of this reality. Now I am here to work these energy matrices. Those who wish to be part of the solution need to align with my process and what I represent.

==My position towards the BL community and its activists in particular==
I am sympathetic to this cause/movement in much the same way that I am to nationalists/Nazis. Meaning, I agree that we/you are both being victimized and that your opponents are irrational and/or vicious. However, my diagnosis goes a lot deeper than yours, and I'm ready to elaborate on this assertion to anyone who's interested in it. I am convinced that we are on the threshold of transitioning out of the current paradigm across the board. I can see this quite clearly, and I am on the vanguard of this imminent event. You are attempting to revision and reform the incumbent paradigm. I see no point in doing that, for the reason I just stated.

Thus, my interest is completely absent when it comes to law issues, or advocacy, or resistance. I am interested in apprehending deeper perspectives, both from the protagonist as well as the antagonist camps. I am interested in the deep triggers where psychology becomes blurred with and becomes overtaken by ontology. I already comprehend much of the overall dynamics that are in play in the world at this time. I'll volunteer one of the core ones as being the [http://boychat.org/oc/messages/98534.htm conflict between the genders]. The "handling" of male homosexuality through social engineering and the blatant suppression of child sexuality and intergenerational sexual relations are the most critical corollaries of this conflict, the war on masculinity similarly. I don't see any sign of an awareness of these connections among the communities touching on the present one. That's detrimental in my opinion.

==Online presence:==
* [https://www.oopih.com/index.php?a=profile&u=halvor Oopih]
* [https://twitter.com/HalvorHalvor Twitter]
* [http://t.co/3FEVBSqe0c VK]
* [https://www.youtube.com/user/clubtour YouTube channel]
* [http://mecoclubtour.tumblr.com/ Tumblr]
* [https://www.facebook.com/halvor.raknes Facebook] ''(inactive since July 2015 but with much information)''
* [https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/49780289-halvor-raknes Goodreads]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Links==
'''In English'''
* [https://halvorbarehalvor.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/global-ban-from-wikimedia-foundation-sites-and-events/ Global ban from Wikimedia Foundation] - a 2015 entry from my blog
* Three interrelated pages:
** [[User:Meco/Holotropic homosexuality|Holotropic homosexuality]] - outlining my position on homosexuality and the relationship between man and God.
** [[User:Meco/Applied sex economy|Applied sex economy]] - outlining Reichian sex economy as the only usable tool for reconnecting with God and transcending the existing, exiting, paradigm.
** [[User:Meco/Cosmology and cosmogony|Cosmology and cosmogony]] - Text expanding on the two pages above

'''In Norwegian'''
* [https://www.facebook.com/LjanOslo/posts/595708843899575 Moralsk panikk på Ljan/Nordstrand] - article by me about a recent [[moral panic]] in my local community because I suddenly began enjoying to watch soccer games
* [https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://nb.xiandos.info/Seksuell_orientering Seksuell orientering] - article by me about [[sexual orientation]] dealing particularly with homosexuality, child sexuality and pedophilia, rejecting the notion that heterosexuality should be regarded as the standard for normal sexuality.

[[Category:Active BoyWiki editors]]

User talk:Wanker

2016-07-06T10:09:37Z

Meco: /* Compare and Contrast: SAFEnet and Tor */ new section

== Namespaces ==

See [[mediawikiwiki:Help:Namespaces]] and [[mediawikiwiki:Help:Subpages]]. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 00:58, 18 March 2015 (UTC)

You can also see [[Help:User page]] --[[User:Etenne|Etenne]] ([[User talk:Etenne|talk]]) 01:44, 18 March 2015 (UTC)

== Alicia en el lado oscuro ==

Good book: Santiago, Pablo. ''Alicia en el lado oscuro : La pedofilia desde la antigua Grecia hasta la era Internet''. Madrid : Imagine Ediciones, 2004.

https://www.ipce.info/library_3/pdf/alicia_en_el_lado_oscuro.pdf

... in case you haven't heard of it before. Maybe you could share it with a Spanish-speaking person. I don't know. [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 23:18, 18 March 2015 (UTC)

== Showing, rather than telling ==

'The shameless, self-interested collaboration of psychologists with the "sex offender treatment industry" is scandalous.' This is the sort of statement I was writing about in [[Project:Show, don't tell]]. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 22:12, 20 March 2015 (UTC)

== cf. (confer, compare with/to) vs see (refer to) ==

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cf. [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 04:15, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

== Thank you. ==

The [[Philippines]] article is much better now. [[User:User4|User4]] ([[User talk:User4|talk]]) 03:54, 10 May 2015 (UTC)

== Userspace ==

It'll probably avoid conflict if you put your essays in userspace next time. Unfortunately, Google didn't have a cache of your essay, so I was unable to re-create it. [[User:Lysander|Lysander]] ([[User talk:Lysander|talk]]) 17:53, 14 May 2015 (UTC)

==Ottoman Empire==
Since you seem knowledgeable on this subject, you should start a main page for the [[Ottoman Empire]]--[[User:Etenne|Etenne]] ([[User talk:Etenne|talk]]) 13:18, 26 May 2015 (UTC)

== Compare and Contrast: SAFEnet and Tor ==

Just a heads-up: https://forum.safenetwork.io/t/compare-and-contrast-safenet-and-tor/10112. I've added a stub article about [[SAFE Network]] which should probably become a pivot among BoyWiki's articles about computer security. Still somewhat in development. __[[User:Meco|meco]] ([[User talk:Meco|talk]]) 10:09, 6 July 2016 (UTC)