BoyLover child-abuse narrative
The BoyLover child-abuse narrative, like the incest narrative and the child abuse narrative, is a stereotypical narrative (or story) which has been created and framed by certain radical feminists to demonize--from their point of view--BoyLover/loved boy sexual relationships.
The basics of the narrative are (note: almost always these are false assumptions):
- the BoyLover always coerces the boy into having sex with him,
- the Boylover objectifys the boy, treating the boy simply as an object,
- the Boylover uses the boy for his only selfish sexual gratification,
- the BoyLover (dishonestly) seduces the boy with gifts and attention,
- and then, after sexually satisfying himself, the BoyLover abandons the boy,
- and the boy:
- is always unwilling
- is always afraid
- is always anally penetrated by the BoyLover
- is always cowed into silence by threats
- is always filled with feelings of guilt and shame
- always blames himself for the relationship
- is never believed if he "tells" anyone
- is horrifically damaged by the experience
- must relive the experience in "therapy" in order to "heal"
Relationship to other narratives
The BoyLover child-abuse narrative, along with the incest narrative, the rape narrative, and the child abuse narrative, are all paradigms created by certain groups interested in demonizing adult-child sexual activity and (alleged) paternalistic attitudes within society.
The BoyLover child-abuse narrative, the "rape narrative," the "incest narrative," and the "child abuse narrative" are rarely rationally discussed in public, due to any attempts to do so being drowned out by the histrionics of those opposed to rational discussion of adult-child sexual activities. These topics are occasionally addressed in academic publications, but these publications are not easily available to the "unwashed masses".
The harms created by the BoyLover child-abuse narrative narrative
The BoyLover almost never coerces the boy into having sex. Very often the boy's curiosity about sex leads him to behave seductively towards the BoyLover, and often the BoyLover will respond to this, and engage in sexual activity with the boy.
BoyLovers will usually attempt to make friends with a boy before making any suggestions regarding possible sexual activity involving himself and the boy. This is called grooming, by the antisexuals, homophobes, and sexophobes and is a neologism intended to defame BoyLovers.
Cases which come to the attention of the legal authorities are sometimes cases where the BoyLover has used coercion. From these cases, it is (mistakenly) extrapolated that all cases of BoyLovers being sexually involved with boys must involve coercion.
As BoyLover activity is usually hidden, the actual percentage of cases which do involve coercion is unknown. As only a small percentage of BoyLovers are actually prosecuted, and it is estimated that a large percentage of boys are involved sexually at some point with a BoyLover, it is very likely that most cases of BoyLover/young boy sexual activity do not involve any coercion at all.
Usually the boy:
- is a willing participant.
- is not at all afraid of the BoyLover
- is not cowed into silence by any threats
- (but is aware that the activity is not socially acceptable, and therefore remains silent about it)
- is not filled with feelings of guilt and shame (until the relationship is exposed)
- but does "blame himself" for the relationship, because he knows he participated voluntarily
- is not "horrifically damaged" by the experience, or even damaged at all
When an BoyLover/loved boy relationship is exposed, the boy is almost always forced into therapy. Most therapists are believers in the "BoyLover child-abuse narrative" and will not believe the boy if he insists that the relationship was unforced, that he was not threatened, etc. etc.
The boy will be said to be "in denial, and "therapy" sessions will continue until the boy (at least, superficially) accepts the claims of the therapist, and agrees with the assertions of the therapist--the claims and assertions of the (supposed) harms listed above.
The boy will probably also become extremely confused. The boy knows that the BoyLover had been very kind to him, had treated him well, and had respected his needs--in other words, the BoyLover had not in fact "abused" the boy. But now the boy is subjected to the "reconceptualization" of the relationship by the therapist. This puts a great strain on the boy as he tries to reconcile in his mind what the therapist claims to be true with what the boy knows is true (the boy, after all, was there with the BoyLover, while the therapist was not).
It is curious that, while the therapist holds true that the boy will not be believed should he disclose the relationship, at the same time, the therapist will not believe the boy if the boy insists that the relationship was unforced, that he was not threatened, etc. etc.
In the rare event that the boy has been coerced, threatened, etc., the therapist insists that the boy must "relive the experience" in order to "heal". The result of this, of course, is to reinforce all of the boy's bad memories, and to increase the guilt, pain, and suffering of the boy.
Police interrogations of the (supposed) "boy victim"
Law enforcement officials are trained to believe in the "BoyLover child-abuse narrative," and will interrogate a (supposed) boy "victim" until the boy will make statements which support the elements of the "BoyLover child-abuse narrative". After many hours/days/weeks of badgering by police investigators, most boys will eventually collapse and give in to the intense pressure they are exposed to. These boys will affirm all of the of allegations the investigators (falsely) insist to be true.
Very often the law enforcement officials threaten the boy during interrogation. They threaten to tell the boy's family and all of the boy's friends that the boy is actually a homosexual. They threaten to place the boy in a boy's shelter (or detention center) where the boy will be anally raped by the other inmates.
These threats terrify the boy, and he will "confess" anything to avoid the threats being carried out. In fact, the law enforcement officials are lying when they make these threats. The officers already fully intend to do those things anyway, whether or not the boy discloses. When the boy finds out--later on--that the officers have done these things anyway, the boy feels betrayed, and most likely will never again believe the words of a law enforcement official.
These statements coerced from the boy will then be used in court to convict the (alleged) "BoyLover perpetrator," as well as by the media to add flames to the moral panic in society involving fears of (supposed) child sexual abuse. Politicians will then use these statements to justify more draconian laws against (alleged) "child sexual abuse," and to garner voter support for their political ambitions.
BoyLovers and the "rape" of boys
There are as many kinds of boylovers as there are kinds of heterosexuals, homosexuals, stamp collectors, video-game enthusiasts, etc. etc. BoyLovers are a highly heterogeneous group, and individual BoyLovers cannot be easily placed into discrete categories.
Despite the above disclaimer, BoyLovers can be roughly categorized into four types:
- BoyLovers attracted to boys roughly 10 or 11 years old to around 13 or 14 years old
- BoyLovers attracted to boys roughly 12 or 13 years old to around 16 or 17 years old
- BoyLovers attracted to boys roughly 8 or 9 years old to boys around 14 or 15 years old
- BoyLovers attracted to boys of any age, but usually older than 3 or 4 years old
(Note: the above excludes men who mainly heterosexual but occasionally will anally penetrate a boy, often as a substitute for a female sexual partner. These are not true BoyLovers)
BoyLovers attracted to boys under the age of 12 or 13 are "true pedophiles" and almost never wish to engage in anal intercourse (with the boy being the "receiver"). Most of these BoyLovers know that this activity could physically harm the boy, and cause pain and distress to the boy. Therefore, these BoyLovers do not attempt anal intercourse with boys. These BoyLovers usually wish to masturbate the boy, fellate the boy, and caress the boy. Rarely do these BoyLovers wish for the boy to fellate them. These BoyLovers understand that the boy may find fellating a man to be disgusting, and therefore do not wish to cause any distress to the boy.
BoyLovers attracted to boys 12 or 13 years old and above are actually pederasts, and may or may not wish to anally penetrate a boy. Most of these BoyLovers, along with the "true pedophile BoyLovers," know that this activity could physically harm the boy, and cause pain and distress to the boy. Therefore, many (or most) of these BoyLovers do not attempt anal intercourse with a boy, though some may.
Any of the activities engaged in by a BoyLover with a minor boy are legally "statutory rape". The media in their reports, and the general public, usually do not distinguish between actual violent, penetrative rape, and statutory rape.
- (incomplete listing)
- Social Response to Age-Gap Sex Involving Minors: Empirical, Historical, Cross-Cultural, and Cross-Species Considerations Presented at the “Good sex, bad sex: Sex law, crime and ethics” conference in Budapest, Hungary, May 4 to 6, 2009 Bruce Rind, Ph.D. NOTE: .PDF file, will either open in your browser or offer downloading: