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Children (minors under the "legal age" of consent) cannot give ''informed consent'' to engage in sexual activity with an adult until they understand ''the complete consequences'' of doing so.
Children (minors under the "legal age" of consent) cannot give ''informed consent'' to engage in sexual activity with an adult until they understand ''the complete consequences'' of doing so.


Below is an outline of a situation which would require advisories necessary so that a child ''can'' give ''fully informed'' consent. It is given as a dialogue between an adult male BoyLover, and an eleven-year-old boy who is his "young friend".
Below is an outline of a situation which would require advisories necessary so that a child ''can'' give ''fully informed'' consent. It is given as a dialogue between an adult male BoyLover, and an eleven-year-old boy who is his "young friend".


:_________________________________
:_________________________________________________


"Well, Billy, wrestling on the floor with our shirts off was really fun, wasn't it!"
"Well, Billy, wrestling on the floor with our shirts off was really fun, wasn't it!"
Line 22: Line 21:
"Then, OK--let's do it!"
"Then, OK--let's do it!"


"Fine. But there are a few things I have to advise you (that means tell you) of, first, before you say "Yes":
"Fine. But there are a few things I should tell you, first, before you say "Yes":


"OK--shoot!"
"OK--shoot!"


"Well, I am going to begin by touching your arms, your shoulders, and your chest.
"Well, I am going to begin by touching your arms, your shoulders, and your chest."
 
 
 
"If you do not object, I will then touch your stomach
 
 
 
"if you still do not object, then I will touch you a bit lower
 
 
 
"if I touch you a bit lower, and you still do not object, I will touch your genitals (that means your dick and balls)
 
 
 
"if I touch your dick, you will almost definitely get an erection (that means your dick will get hard)
 
 
 
"if your dick gets hard when I touch it, then you will have very strong pleasurable feelings
 
 
 
 
"if you still do not object, and I continue to touch your dick, you may then have an orgasm (that means you'll have a really really really strong and pleasurable feeling, maybe one you have never had before, but that I promise you, you will really really enjoy it!)
 
 
 
 
"if you do have an orgasm, you may question your sexual identity
 
 
 
 
"if you do question your sexual identity, you may require reassurance from me (or others) that you ''will not'' become homosexual from being touched and then orgasming that way
 
 
 
"If your mother finds out that I touched your dick, she may become angry and not allow you to see me any more
 
 
 
"she may make a report to the police that I touched your dick
 
 
 
"if she makes a report to the police, the police will become angry, and will want to talk to you
 
 
 
"if the police want to talk to you, you can agree to talk to them, or not agree to talk to them
 
 
 
"if you agree to talk to them, then anything you tell them about me touching your dick will make them ask ''ever more'' questions
 
 
 
 
"the police will then say that I am a "monster" and that I have to be stopped from ever touching another boy the way I touched you, and that they need your help to stop me from doing it again
 
 
 
 
"the police will threaten you
 
 
 
 
"the police will say they'll tell your parents that you are homosexual (they'll do that, anyway, ''even if you do'' "talk")
 
 
 
 
"after the police tell your parents, they will be even more angry at you
 
 
 
 
"they may kick you out of your house, and never want to see you ever again
 


"Sounds OK to me. Then what?"


"If you don't want me to stop, I will then touch your stomach, too."


"the police will say they'll tell all your friends that you are homosexual (they'll do that, anyway, ''even if you do'' "talk")
"That would tickle!"


"Well, I'll be careful that I don't tickle you. If you still don't want me to stop, then I will touch you a bit lower."


"How much lower?"


"Just a little bit. Then if I touch you a bit lower, and you still don't want me to stop, I will touch your dick and your balls.


"after the police tell all your friends at school, all your friends will tease you, and bully you, and call you "gay," "pervert," "homo," and they won't ever talk to you or play with you ever again
"Wait a minute! That's my private parts!"


"I know. But they are ''your'' private parts, and ''you'' can decide who touches them, can't you?"


"Well, in school they told me that ''nobody'' should touch them."


"That's kind of silly, isn't it? They are ''your'' private parts!"


"the police will tell you that if you don't tell them what they want to know, that
"Gee... I guess you're right about that..."


"So, if I touch your dick, your dick will get hard."


"You sure about that?"


"Almost positive. And if your dick gets hard when I touch it, then you will have very strong pleasurable feelings."


"they will keep you in a room and keep talking to you
"How do you know that?"


"Trust me--I know! Then if you ''still'' don't want me to stop, and I continue to touch your dick, you may then experience a really really really strong and pleasurable feeling, maybe one you have never had before. It's called an "orgasm".


"I heard some of the guys at school talk about those."


"Yeah, boys your age start to talk about that stuff a lot!"


"that you can't have anything to eat until you "talk"
"You say it'll feel good?"


"I promise you, you will really really enjoy it! But there is one thing..."


"What's that?"


"If you ''do'' have an orgasm (or even if you ''don't''), you might wonder something about yourself."


"that you can't use the toilet until you "talk" (you may even have to wet your pants, which is embarrassing)
"What?"


"Something about what they call your "sexual identity".


"My what?"


"You might wonder if you're gay."


"you won't be able to go home until you ''do'' tell them what they want
"I'm no f***king gay!"


"I know, I know... I never thought for a moment that you were gay."


"Well, I'm glad we got ''that'' straightened out!"


"Speaking of straigtening things out, let me go on..."


"if you do talk to them then this will mean that you can never see me again (except maybe once in court)
"Sure."


"If you do question your sexual identity, you might need me to reassure you ''will not'' become homosexual from being touched, and then orgasming that way."


"I told you--I ain't no gay!"


"I know. Take it easy! Anyway, If your mother finds out that I touched your dick, she may become angry and not allow you to see me any more."


"I will be arrested and put in prison for many years
"My mom used to hit me when she saw me touching my dick."


"Yeah, lots of adults are crazy about things to do with touching, and dicks, and stuff like that."


"You're telling me! They're all nuts! Even my teachers at school are nuts!"


"I know. Anyway, back to your mom. If she knows, would probably make a report to the police that I touched your dick."


"you will be put in "treatment," and forced to see a psychologist once or twice a week for months or maybe for years
"What do the cops have to do with this?"


"They made a law against people touching each other's dicks, if one is too young."


"I'm not too young!"


"I know, but ''they'' don't know. So, if she makes a report to the police, then police will become angry, and will want to talk to you."


"the therapist will tell you that you were hurt by my touching you
"I don't want to talk to any cops!"


"I know. But they will make you talk to them. They've got guns, remember?"


"Yeah--I've seen the bad stuff they do on YouTube."


"Me, too. So, if the police want to talk to you, you can ''agree'' to talk to them, or ''not agree'' to talk to them. That's up to you."


"if you say that you ''were not'' hurt by my touching you, she will think you are lying.
"I'll never talk to them!"


"Don't say that--you don't know yet what they will do to you!"


"What?"


"We'll get to that. Anyway, if you agree to talk to them, then anything you tell them about me touching your dick will make them ask you ''ever more'' stupid questions."


"if she thinks you are lying, then she will put more pressure on you to make you believe that I hurt you
"Like what?"


"Well, the police will tell you that I am some kind of a "monster" and that I have to be stopped from ever touching another boy the way I touched you."


"But, if I want it, and you don't hurt me..."


"It doesn't matter. They'll say that they need your help to stop me from doing it again to other boys."


"she will tell you that I am a "monster"
"Well, if other boys want it, that's up to them!"


"I agree. But the cops don't. Anyway, to  continue--the police will threaten you."


"With what?"


"The police will say that they'll tell your parents that you are gay."


"she will say that I have to be stopped from ever touching another boy the way I touched you
"What if I tell them not to tell my parents anything?"


"They won't listen. They'll do it, anyway, ''even if you do'' "talk" to them."


"Then what?"


"After the police tell your parents, your parents will be even ''more'' angry at you--they might even kick you out of your house when you turn 16, and never want to see you ever again."


"she will make you feel "dirty" and "abnormal" because I touched you
"They wouldn't do that!"


"Parents have done that to thousands and thousands of kids already. Remember, they're crazy about some things."


"Hmm..."


"So, the police will say they'll tell all your friends, too, that you are gay."


"she'll tell you that it is ''really really bad'' to let someone older than you touch you
"They can't do that!"


"Sure they can. They've got guns, remember?"


"Uh, yeah..."


"They'll tell all your friends, anyway, ''even if you do'' "talk". Then after the police tell all your friends at school, all your friends will tease you, and bully you, and call you "gay," "pervert," "homo," and they won't ever talk to you or play with you ever again!"


"if you argue with her, she will put ''more'' pressure on you
"Gee... I guess you might be right..."


"Then the police will tell you that if you don't tell them what they want to know, that they will keep you in one room, and keep on asking you questions, and tell you that you can't have anything to eat until you "talk," and that you can't use the toilet until you "talk". Yyou may even have to wet your pants, which is really embarrassing, because they won't let you go to the toilet.


"They can't do that!"


"The guns... remember?"


"she will tell you that "until you understand you cannot be healed"
"Oh, yeah..."


"They'll tell you that you won't be able to go home until you ''do'' tell them what they want to hear."


"Can they do that?"


"No. They're lying. Cops can lie about anything they want. Anything!"


"if you argue with her that I didn't hurt you, she will put even ''more'' pressure on you
"So, if you ''do'' talk to them, then that means you can never ever see me again --well, except maybe one time, in court. I will be arrested and put in prison for many years."


"For what?"


"For touching your dick."


"That's crazy!"


"until you agree with what the therapist says, you will be forced to continue seeing the therapist until you ''do'' agree with everything the therapist tells you
"It sure is!. Then they will be put you in "treatment," and force you to go see a psychologist once or twice a week, for months and months, or maybe for years."


"Why?"


"'Cause they'll think that I hurt you, and they have to make you better."


"They're nuts!


"when you finally agree (which you will ''have'' to, if you want the therapy to stop)
"Yup. And the therapist will tell you that you were hurt by my touching you. If you say that you ''were not'' hurt by my touching you, she will think you are lying."


"Is she like the police--can she lie about anything?"


"Yup. So, if she thinks you are lying, then she will put ''more'' pressure on you to make you believe that I hurt you."


"Hmm..."


"you will then begin to believe that I am a "monster"
"She will tell you that I am a "monster". She will say that I have to be stopped from ever touching another boy the way I touched you. She will make you feel "dirty" and "abnormal" because I touched you, and she'll tell you that it is ''really really bad'' to let someone older than you ever touch you."


"They already said that in school."


"If you argue with her, she will put ''more'' pressure on you--she will tell you that "until you understand you cannot be healed".


"But what if I'm not sick?"


"you will then hate me
"She's friends with the police. They've guns, remember?"


"Oh, right..."


"If you argue with her that I ''didn't'' hurt you, she will put even ''more'' pressure on you. And until you agree with what the therapist says, you will be forced to continue seeing the therapist until you ''do'' agree with everything the therapist tells you!"


"Can they really do that?"


"you will then regret having ever met me
"Remember..."


"...yeah, yeah--guns..."


"When you finally agree--which you will ''have'' to, if you want the therapy to ever stop--you ''will'' then begin to believe that I really am a 'monster'."


"No I won't!"


"you will then worry even more that you might now be a "homosexual" because you liked it when I touched you
"Yes, you will. They know how to convince anybody of almost anything. So, you will then hate me. You will then regret having ever met me."


"No I won't!"


"Yes, you will. They'll make you. Anyway, you will then worry ''even more'' that you might be "gay" because you liked it when I touched you. But don't tell the therapist that!"


"How come?"


"if you tell the therapist you're worried about becoming homosexual, then you will have to have ''even more'' therapy
"If you tell the therapist you're worried about being gay, then you will have to have ''even more'' therapy--a new and different kind of therapy, and that therapy might go on for a long long time."


"What if I just don't talk to the police?


"If the police want to talk to you, and you ''don't'' agree to talk to them ''nothing bad'' will happen."


"Nothing?"


"this will be a new and different form of therapy, and may continue for a long long time
"Nope. Nothing. They'll just give up and let you go home."


"How about my mom?"


"If your mom never finds out that I touched your dick, she won't become angry and you can still come to visit me any time you want. If ''no one ever finds out'' that I touched your dick, then it will just stay our secret, and--if you want--then I'll do it again. But if you ''don't'' want me to touch your dick, then I won't do it again."


"if the police want to talk to you, and you ''do not'' agree to talk to them ''nothing bad'' will happen.
"I hope not!"


 
"Don't worry--you know me. I'm a nice guy! OK. Now that you know what ''might'' happen, do you ''still'' want to try that ''something else'' that I said is ''really fun'', too?
 
"If your mother never finds out that I touched your dick, she won't become angry and you can still come to visit me
 
 
 
"If ''no one ever finds out'' that I touched your dick, then it will just stay our secret, and--if you want--then I'll do it again. If you ''don't'' want me to touch your dick, then I won't do it again.
 
"OK. Now that you know what ''might'' happen, do you ''still'' want to try that ''something else'' that I said is ''really fun'', too?


"Uh... hmm... it looks like none of that bad stuff could ever happen as long as I ''never'' tell anyone that you touched me, right?"
"Uh... hmm... it looks like none of that bad stuff could ever happen as long as I ''never'' tell anyone that you touched me, right?"
Line 271: Line 266:


"Right!"
"Right!"
==See also==
*[[Age of consent]]
*[[Informed consent]]
*[[Informed consent - realistic examples for today's society]]
[[Category:Sexuality]]
[[Category:Law]]
[[Category:Essays]]

Revision as of 18:12, 12 April 2016

Children (minors under the "legal age" of consent) cannot give informed consent to engage in sexual activity with an adult until they understand the complete consequences of doing so.

Below is an outline of a situation which would require advisories necessary so that a child can give fully informed consent. It is given as a dialogue between an adult male BoyLover, and an eleven-year-old boy who is his "young friend".

_________________________________________________

"Well, Billy, wrestling on the floor with our shirts off was really fun, wasn't it!"

"Sure was!"

"Heh, I've got an idea. How about trying something else that is really fun, too?

"Sure. What are ya thinking of?"

"Well, it involves another kind of touching. It's where you lie down, and I touch you in some special ways. Want to try it?"

"It won't hurt, will it?"

"No--of course not! I wouldn't do anything that would hurt you!"

"Then, OK--let's do it!"

"Fine. But there are a few things I should tell you, first, before you say "Yes":

"OK--shoot!"

"Well, I am going to begin by touching your arms, your shoulders, and your chest."

"Sounds OK to me. Then what?"

"If you don't want me to stop, I will then touch your stomach, too."

"That would tickle!"

"Well, I'll be careful that I don't tickle you. If you still don't want me to stop, then I will touch you a bit lower."

"How much lower?"

"Just a little bit. Then if I touch you a bit lower, and you still don't want me to stop, I will touch your dick and your balls.

"Wait a minute! That's my private parts!"

"I know. But they are your private parts, and you can decide who touches them, can't you?"

"Well, in school they told me that nobody should touch them."

"That's kind of silly, isn't it? They are your private parts!"

"Gee... I guess you're right about that..."

"So, if I touch your dick, your dick will get hard."

"You sure about that?"

"Almost positive. And if your dick gets hard when I touch it, then you will have very strong pleasurable feelings."

"How do you know that?"

"Trust me--I know! Then if you still don't want me to stop, and I continue to touch your dick, you may then experience a really really really strong and pleasurable feeling, maybe one you have never had before. It's called an "orgasm".

"I heard some of the guys at school talk about those."

"Yeah, boys your age start to talk about that stuff a lot!"

"You say it'll feel good?"

"I promise you, you will really really enjoy it! But there is one thing..."

"What's that?"

"If you do have an orgasm (or even if you don't), you might wonder something about yourself."

"What?"

"Something about what they call your "sexual identity".

"My what?"

"You might wonder if you're gay."

"I'm no f***king gay!"

"I know, I know... I never thought for a moment that you were gay."

"Well, I'm glad we got that straightened out!"

"Speaking of straigtening things out, let me go on..."

"Sure."

"If you do question your sexual identity, you might need me to reassure you will not become homosexual from being touched, and then orgasming that way."

"I told you--I ain't no gay!"

"I know. Take it easy! Anyway, If your mother finds out that I touched your dick, she may become angry and not allow you to see me any more."

"My mom used to hit me when she saw me touching my dick."

"Yeah, lots of adults are crazy about things to do with touching, and dicks, and stuff like that."

"You're telling me! They're all nuts! Even my teachers at school are nuts!"

"I know. Anyway, back to your mom. If she knows, would probably make a report to the police that I touched your dick."

"What do the cops have to do with this?"

"They made a law against people touching each other's dicks, if one is too young."

"I'm not too young!"

"I know, but they don't know. So, if she makes a report to the police, then police will become angry, and will want to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to any cops!"

"I know. But they will make you talk to them. They've got guns, remember?"

"Yeah--I've seen the bad stuff they do on YouTube."

"Me, too. So, if the police want to talk to you, you can agree to talk to them, or not agree to talk to them. That's up to you."

"I'll never talk to them!"

"Don't say that--you don't know yet what they will do to you!"

"What?"

"We'll get to that. Anyway, if you agree to talk to them, then anything you tell them about me touching your dick will make them ask you ever more stupid questions."

"Like what?"

"Well, the police will tell you that I am some kind of a "monster" and that I have to be stopped from ever touching another boy the way I touched you."

"But, if I want it, and you don't hurt me..."

"It doesn't matter. They'll say that they need your help to stop me from doing it again to other boys."

"Well, if other boys want it, that's up to them!"

"I agree. But the cops don't. Anyway, to continue--the police will threaten you."

"With what?"

"The police will say that they'll tell your parents that you are gay."

"What if I tell them not to tell my parents anything?"

"They won't listen. They'll do it, anyway, even if you do "talk" to them."

"Then what?"

"After the police tell your parents, your parents will be even more angry at you--they might even kick you out of your house when you turn 16, and never want to see you ever again."

"They wouldn't do that!"

"Parents have done that to thousands and thousands of kids already. Remember, they're crazy about some things."

"Hmm..."

"So, the police will say they'll tell all your friends, too, that you are gay."

"They can't do that!"

"Sure they can. They've got guns, remember?"

"Uh, yeah..."

"They'll tell all your friends, anyway, even if you do "talk". Then after the police tell all your friends at school, all your friends will tease you, and bully you, and call you "gay," "pervert," "homo," and they won't ever talk to you or play with you ever again!"

"Gee... I guess you might be right..."

"Then the police will tell you that if you don't tell them what they want to know, that they will keep you in one room, and keep on asking you questions, and tell you that you can't have anything to eat until you "talk," and that you can't use the toilet until you "talk". Yyou may even have to wet your pants, which is really embarrassing, because they won't let you go to the toilet.

"They can't do that!"

"The guns... remember?"

"Oh, yeah..."

"They'll tell you that you won't be able to go home until you do tell them what they want to hear."

"Can they do that?"

"No. They're lying. Cops can lie about anything they want. Anything!"

"So, if you do talk to them, then that means you can never ever see me again --well, except maybe one time, in court. I will be arrested and put in prison for many years."

"For what?"

"For touching your dick."

"That's crazy!"

"It sure is!. Then they will be put you in "treatment," and force you to go see a psychologist once or twice a week, for months and months, or maybe for years."

"Why?"

"'Cause they'll think that I hurt you, and they have to make you better."

"They're nuts!

"Yup. And the therapist will tell you that you were hurt by my touching you. If you say that you were not hurt by my touching you, she will think you are lying."

"Is she like the police--can she lie about anything?"

"Yup. So, if she thinks you are lying, then she will put more pressure on you to make you believe that I hurt you."

"Hmm..."

"She will tell you that I am a "monster". She will say that I have to be stopped from ever touching another boy the way I touched you. She will make you feel "dirty" and "abnormal" because I touched you, and she'll tell you that it is really really bad to let someone older than you ever touch you."

"They already said that in school."

"If you argue with her, she will put more pressure on you--she will tell you that "until you understand you cannot be healed".

"But what if I'm not sick?"

"She's friends with the police. They've guns, remember?"

"Oh, right..."

"If you argue with her that I didn't hurt you, she will put even more pressure on you. And until you agree with what the therapist says, you will be forced to continue seeing the therapist until you do agree with everything the therapist tells you!"

"Can they really do that?"

"Remember..."

"...yeah, yeah--guns..."

"When you finally agree--which you will have to, if you want the therapy to ever stop--you will then begin to believe that I really am a 'monster'."

"No I won't!"

"Yes, you will. They know how to convince anybody of almost anything. So, you will then hate me. You will then regret having ever met me."

"No I won't!"

"Yes, you will. They'll make you. Anyway, you will then worry even more that you might be "gay" because you liked it when I touched you. But don't tell the therapist that!"

"How come?"

"If you tell the therapist you're worried about being gay, then you will have to have even more therapy--a new and different kind of therapy, and that therapy might go on for a long long time."

"What if I just don't talk to the police?

"If the police want to talk to you, and you don't agree to talk to them nothing bad will happen."

"Nothing?"

"Nope. Nothing. They'll just give up and let you go home."

"How about my mom?"

"If your mom never finds out that I touched your dick, she won't become angry and you can still come to visit me any time you want. If no one ever finds out that I touched your dick, then it will just stay our secret, and--if you want--then I'll do it again. But if you don't want me to touch your dick, then I won't do it again."

"I hope not!"

"Don't worry--you know me. I'm a nice guy! OK. Now that you know what might happen, do you still want to try that something else that I said is really fun, too?

"Uh... hmm... it looks like none of that bad stuff could ever happen as long as I never tell anyone that you touched me, right?"

"Yes, that's right. None of that bad stuff would ever happen to you."

"Then, OK--let's do it! You're my best friend, and I'll keep my mouth shut about you forever and ever!"

"Well, if that's what you really want, then I guess we can try it, right?"

"Right!"