POJKEN'S THOUGHTS on Boylove (essay)

POJKEN'S THOUGHTS

What is it really to love a boy?

Boylove is seen as destructive and harmful to the development of the boy in today's society. Nowadays it is a popular theme in newspapers, magazines and television. As a boylover it is amazing and depressing to see how reality is distorted and how so-called 'experts' are prostituting themselves - spreading misconceptions, prejudice and lies as if they were scientific facts and truths.

It is a very complex task to study factors in life that make differences in the development of a child. There are hundreds of possible interactions between them and you can not single out one as a "cause" of anything. Still, it is very common that children who are disturbed by a multiabuse and neglectful environment have their disturbances attributed to sexual experiences if any exist. No effort is made to analyze if a sexual experience is based on a positive emotional bond or coercion and violence. In this world of sex hysteria, we are led to believe that there is only black and white. Truth is of no value if it is complex - it's hard to use in campaigns.

The truth is that there is no evidence whatsoever that a boy's sexual experience with a man, if founded on a mutual loving and emotional relationship, causes harm. There is no sound reason to even build such a hypothesis, when even a bit of thought would suggest that the opposite would be more likely to be true.

The real problem in such a relationship comes if it becomes public and society starts its 'treatment' of the boylove. 'Treatment' in this case means imprisonment, brainwashing, even torture. It is a scene not dissimilar to the 'treatment' that gay men were subjected to less than half a century ago - a treatment that often causes damage to the boy's personality and development. This isn't even counting the public humiliation and damage inflicted on the boy by society when he is forced to give evidence, often against his will, against his lover repeatedly and in great detail. And of course, any damage that the boy shows after this ordeal is later taken as evidence of how harmful a boylover is to his boy.

When carefully examining many scientific medical publications and papers in surveys, something like five percent meets with basic scientific methodological demands. The rest is unverified hypothesis by the authors. This is true also for medical research which is generally regarded highly. The fact is that when it comes to psychological and sociological research there is virtually nothing to be found in the area of boylove/boyloves that is anything more than the beliefs of the authors of the studies. Many publications still present the results of so called 'research' in these areas as facts. The fact is that the authors, if not scientifically ignorant, just sell their souls to the rich kids that finance their work if they show appropriate results.

This may sound sceptical, but it's also true, and in areas other than boyloving. Look no further for an example than the 'research' done by tobacco companies which mysteriously all show smoking to be harmless.

It is only now that society is becoming more accepting of sex and that we are encouraged to take a more open view of sexuality and youth that we are beginning to see the first signs of studies being done under properly controlled conditions. It is no accident that many of these are now coming up in favour of the boylovers, often to the surprise of the researchers.

Loving a boy is to put him in the center of your life. It is always giving more than receiving. It is to accept when he does not want your gifts or your love. It is to worship, protect and to help him grow. This love can never hurt in itself but it can help a boy develop into a man that can cope with, and succeed in, a far from perfect society.

This truth is not new but ancient. Times come and go. Today our society is blind and predjudiced. The need to neutralize the ever present histrionic crusaders is great too. Boylovers are easy prey. Who cares about the truth when it is complex and following tradition makes everything so much easier? Politicians do not. Judges do not. Journalists do not. The man in the street does not. People don't want to get involved in thinking in a new vein if they can help it: many books have been written based on that very precept of humanity.

The truth never dies though. Times will come again when the truth will be recognized. I am afraid I will be dead and buried by then. For now I will just refuse to accept the place offered in the gutters. I will continue to be proud over the gift given to me at birth by my parents. The wonderful ability to recognize and worship His beauty. I will cope with the painful longing miraculously broken only for short periods of my lifespan.

I have no choice but to love boys. I want no other choice. Nothing can change me. I am a boylover and there is nothing more beautiful and magic in my life than you - BOY.