Talk:Text of the Boylove Manifesto (Dutch)
Boys Love is a global phenomenon that can occur with every gender, every race, every nationality, every age, every religious belief and every worldview. Boys Love is a special kind of sociocultural relationship between people. Boys Love has always existed, there is still now and will continue to exist.
Boys Love is sexually-scientifically seen in the category ' Paedophilia '. As boys ' lovers, we can only speak for ourselves: Feminist theorems will not be treated here. We do not want to talk about the love of women for boys, nor about the love of men for girls. This manifesto explains the love between men of the male sex.
As boys ' lovers, we take away from the current issue of ' sexual abuse of children and adolescents '. We oppose a discussion, which in no way differentiates between the different types of intergenerational sexual relationships.
This manifesto expresses the view of its author. ' The ' Boy lover does not exist. Also among boys lovers there are as many different opinions as people!
‘For whom is this text intended? This manifesto was written for all the boys lovers, their friends, boys-friends and girlfriends. Also for all the children who have been confronted with this problem or are still going to be. It is intended for parents, educators, teachers and for anyone who is professional or private with children and young people. Hopefully it is read by those who have as a therapist with children and youngsters, and also with boys lovers. Furthermore, if you have retained an unbiased mind, this manifesto wants to study the difficult matter of ' boys love '.
This manifesto hopes to be a contribution to the formation of everyone's own judgement. We do not want to persuade anyone to take our views in this debate, but we want to explain our position and initiate it in the debate.
WWhy is this manifest issued? The debate about sexuality between different age groups, in particular between children and adults, has become a deadlock in terms of argumentation. The conversation between the interested parties no longer takes place. A unilateral debt allocation of self-proclaimed children's guardians to boys ' lovers has exceeded the boundaries that secrete gossip from supposed truth. For centuries prevailing repressive sexual morality provides the breeding ground for this purpose. As child sexuality was declared taboo, in the consciousness of mankind the notion that there is no such thing as child sexuality was developed. This taboo has been broken since Sigmund Freud, but has since been attempted to channel the newly discovered child sexuality through laws and bans. Existing repressive machtsstrukturen [power structures] in the adult-child relationship, were extended to sexuality. The Adult Society prescribes the child how to deal with his/her sexuality. The attempt to educate with punishments and bans brings the child's inner self into a conflict situation that may have traumatic consequences. The discrepancy between the personal desires and the social punishment of those desires does not allow the child to develop a healthy sexuality; This also leads to mental follow-up damage at an adult age.
This manifesto is, on the one hand, the attempt to shed light on the matter, on the other hand, a contribution to free children and adults from a sexual morality that sets invalid premises. In view of the Sociokulturele position of the boys lover will also be tried to formulate ethical ground rules, in particular rules that deal with the rights of the boy and the responsibilities of the boys lover.
What Is Boys love? Boy love does not allow itself to be redirected to the sexual aspect of a relationship. Sexuality plays in a boys love relationship the same role as in any interpersonal relationship. It can therefore not be absent, only latently present or explicitly present. A relationship that consists only of sexual contact does not fall entirely under the heading of ' Boys Love ', as this concept includes much more.
A boy lover strives for a friendly, intimate relationship with a guy. This does not necessarily entail sexual intercourse, nor does it necessarily exclude those. The boy lover does not see the child's amiableness in the first place in his body or in his role as a sexual property-this can or may not be present-but in his being. Especially the ' childish ' or ' Boys like ', which is peculiar to the boy's being, works fascinating on the boys lover. A boy lover tries to shield a child from negation as much as possible.
Ongensliefde relationship. The attraction between a boy and a boys lover is usually mutual. The boy feels attracted to an adult who takes him seriously and treats him respectfully. The humiliating power strategies and bans – all too often common in adult/kindrelaties – play in a jongensliefde relationship no role. Here the boy experiences himself as a personality, who may have his own opinion, his own past and especially his own, seriously taken identity within a social fabric. His view is taken seriously and not rejected as an immature hand. His being as well as his body are perceived in their wholeness, not as things that are still being in progress, developmental phases on the way to adulthood.
In today's society, a child is often regarded as someone who needs to grow to become a person. Its existence is only considered as a scale model for a total to be attained later. The childlike being is kneaded and formed by the standards that the adults set. Undesirable or inappropriate personality traits are eliminated by the education and educational process.
In a boys love relationship, the elder partner enters the childlike creature, feeds it and does not try to squeeze it into a corset. This acceptance of the own character experiences the boy as a salutary and something very special. He can develop and grow because he is taken seriously as a personality and a partner.
Although the adult partner is always in a position to exert power on the child, the boy lover endeavors to give power relations within the relationship no chance. Then still the boy lover must be aware of the fact that there is a struktureel power imbalance in any adult/kindverhouding. There may be situations where he should discuss this subject with his partner. ° The continual self-reflection belongs to the inner being of a boys love relationship.
What rights does the boy have? The boy's right to an undisturbed development of his personality and sexuality must characterize every boys love-relationship and do so too. Physical or psychological pressures are an inherent offence against this right. Furthermore, any restriction on the further development of the personality of the boy and any restriction to experience his sexuality unencumbered and with pleasure can be considered as an infringement of this right. The boys lover has the responsibility to keep the relationship according to the wishes and demands of the boy. He also has the responsibility to ask questions and listen with attention to the boy. The main commandment of the boys lover remains the right of the boy on autonomous development.
The boy has the right to be protected from abuse, both physical and psychological. However, if a boy is forbidden to use his right to a loving relationship and to the experience and experiencing of his own sexuality, it is equally abusive. Here too, the rights of the boy are inalienable!
What requirements do we have? We demand the right to own sexuality, both for boys and for boys lovers.
We demand the reconsideration of a sexual morality, which violates basic human rights because it disclaims both children and those who love them to even think of any sexual intimate intercourse.
We demand that no medical, psychological or religious biased attitude against the sexuality of the child will be part of a new sexual morality.
We demand that both boys ' lovers and children are involved in the current debate about sexuality between adults and children. Currently, "experts " participate in the debate, which extracts their knowledge of intergenerational sexuality from books and statistics. ° It is essential that those who have a direct interest in the debate should also be involved. It sounds incredible: people are defending the interests of an age class without asking this age group whether they need to find and accept such a defence.
We demand our right to freedom of expression in the media. There at present above all the Internet as platform for boy lovers under shot state, we demand that also boy lovers equal rights with all participants on the Internet be allowed: As long as nothing is illegally published-° Ttz. As long as the content of an expression is not punishable itself, internet pages of boys ' lovers and about boys ' love cannot be arbitrarily closed and censored.
We demand the possibility of being able to communicate in a repressive and open forum with boys ' lovers. Discussion, support and the feeling of belonging are important, because only a sexual ethics can be discussed. The secluded boy lover will rather pose a danger to boys than the one who feels in a regulatory community. ur most important claim is the heroverdenken of the child's image in society. As long as a child is not taken as an independent personality, as long as it is on "defenders " designated of his "self-interest" and as long as it will not be able to freely develop his own personality and his sexuality.
° Vert.: This sentence is only found in the German version.
1997 by Jay_h, Vert. From German by Steph.
Thanks to AHS/green/Red Baron/Many boys lovers at whom I found inspiration.
This manifesto may and should be freely distributed. Links to there or inclusion in home page are welcome, but please mention the author.