(Boylove Essays) - Non-Silent Activist Reports: Difference between revisions
(New page: <center><h3>BOSTON MARCH</b> (including OLF's FIRST "spontaneous" march, 1991)<br> <b>SAN FIASCO MARCH</b> (as complacent follower) 1992 (?)<br> <b>MARCH ON d.c. '93</b> (solo OLF march)<b...) |
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<center><h3>BOSTON MARCH</b> (including OLF's FIRST "spontaneous" march, 1991)<br> | <center><h3>BOSTON MARCH</b> (including OLF's FIRST "spontaneous" march, 1991)<br> | ||
<b>SAN FIASCO MARCH</b> (as complacent follower) 1992 (?)<br> | <b>SAN FIASCO MARCH</b> (as complacent follower) 1992 (?)<br> | ||
<b>MARCH ON d.c. '93</b> (solo OLF march)<br> | <b>MARCH ON d.c. '93</b> (solo OLF march)<br> | ||
<b>STONEWALL/S.O.S. MARCH, NYC, 1994</b> (near NAMBLA most of the time)<br> | <b>STONEWALL/S.O.S. MARCH, NYC, 1994</b> (near NAMBLA most of the time)<br> | ||
<b>MINNEAPOLIS, MN 1995</b> (OLF's first "official" independent march)</h3></center | <b>MINNEAPOLIS, MN 1995</b> (OLF's first "official" independent march)</h3></center> | ||
<center><h2> | <center><h2> | ||
An introduction</h2></center> | An introduction</h2></center> | ||
NOTE: The reports depicted here are showing a kind of development of your host's activism from a time when I was quite inarticulate to what might be the *best* kind of direct action to do to a time (culminating with the march in Minneapolis, 1995) when I had achieved a much more constructive and socially aware kind of tactic. And while some of you may understand the kind of emotion that I vented out (largely at gay "pride"/assimilationist marches), many seem to misunderstand the value of this kind of "youthful" outrage (i.e. the value of speaking directly to people vs just marching passively). Note that I am really a self-taught "activist" and my message here and in other places on this website is meant for those others who may find themselves on such a trail. It is my desire that my experiences and insights may assist them! (Final note: I have edited this in 2014 for additional clarity) | NOTE: The reports depicted here are showing a kind of development of your host's activism from a time when I was quite inarticulate to what might be the *best* kind of direct action to do to a time (culminating with the march in Minneapolis, 1995) when I had achieved a much more constructive and socially aware kind of tactic. And while some of you may understand the kind of emotion that I vented out (largely at gay "pride"/assimilationist marches), many seem to misunderstand the value of this kind of "youthful" outrage (i.e. the value of speaking directly to people vs just marching passively). Note that I am really a self-taught "activist" and my message here and in other places on this website is meant for those others who may find themselves on such a trail. It is my desire that my experiences and insights may assist them! (Final note: I have edited this in 2014 for additional clarity) | ||
Let me start with a little background to all of this: i've been a "nonsilent" activist ever since I began catching on, as i see it, to the extreme duping that's been pepetrated on me since i was a young dude (living in a midwestern town in the u.s.a.) by professionals and other highly indoctrinated individuals (including therapists, teachers, parents, and the other adults i was allowed or happened to interact with as a kid). | Let me start with a little background to all of this: i've been a "nonsilent" activist ever since I began catching on, as i see it, to the extreme duping that's been pepetrated on me since i was a young dude (living in a midwestern town in the u.s.a.) by professionals and other highly indoctrinated individuals (including therapists, teachers, parents, and the other adults i was allowed or happened to interact with as a kid). | ||
Only after going through quite a gamut of consequences due to my trust in spoon-fed Authority did I have the luck of stumbling upon NAMBLA/boylove literature--in an anarchist bookstore (i was much too self-homophobic to even visit the gay side of that city! ...But also knew nothing about anarchy and the stigmas attached to <i>it</i> and thus felt freer to explore THAT). And then some <i>blatant hypocrisies</i> by the therapeutrick professionals i had sought, for, what i believed at the time, to be my so-called "sickness". | Only after going through quite a gamut of consequences due to my trust in spoon-fed Authority did I have the luck of stumbling upon NAMBLA/boylove literature--in an anarchist bookstore (i was much too self-homophobic to even visit the gay side of that city! ...But also knew nothing about anarchy and the stigmas attached to <i>it</i> and thus felt freer to explore THAT). And then some <i>blatant hypocrisies</i> by the therapeutrick professionals i had sought, for, what i believed at the time, to be my so-called "sickness". | ||
i had actually gone through about six years of "A War With Myself" in that naive trusting of these professionals, which had included having to once write a letter to a chief of police in order to be able to attend "help" in one special clinic that was only for convicted sex 'offenders'. This resulted in some intensities that I was not prepared for at all, but by luck i was able to navigate through the worst of that. | i had actually gone through about six years of "A War With Myself" in that naive trusting of these professionals, which had included having to once write a letter to a chief of police in order to be able to attend "help" in one special clinic that was only for convicted sex 'offenders'. This resulted in some intensities that I was not prepared for at all, but by luck i was able to navigate through the worst of that. | ||
At first, mere possession of the knowledge of what NAMBLA said for itself was not enough for me to free myself, after all, I had read of NAMBLA in the media i had stumbled across when i first began seeking info via libraries. i remember reading TIME Magazine's article about Charles Dyson, for example, and tho I was drawn to the photo of Charles, I had no reason, yet, not to trust how this "reputable" media characterized NAMBLA. I was still quite enamored to the leash of imposed society as well as the therapi-tricksters i was seeing at the time. But when one "expert" said i'd have to start obeying his drug treatments and that i'd probably have to be in therapy <i>for the rest of my life</i>, while <i>another</i> (who i was seeing at the same time) said that i wasn't a "pedophile" and was "just trying to get attention" (and the entire therapy group agreed), <i>only then</i> did i start to feel like i <i>ought to at least</i>look into the third option that i had just recently discovered: these NAMBLA guys who were saying positive things about my desires. | At first, mere possession of the knowledge of what NAMBLA said for itself was not enough for me to free myself, after all, I had read of NAMBLA in the media i had stumbled across when i first began seeking info via libraries. i remember reading TIME Magazine's article about Charles Dyson, for example, and tho I was drawn to the photo of Charles, I had no reason, yet, not to trust how this "reputable" media characterized NAMBLA. I was still quite enamored to the leash of imposed society as well as the therapi-tricksters i was seeing at the time. But when one "expert" said i'd have to start obeying his drug treatments and that i'd probably have to be in therapy <i>for the rest of my life</i>, while <i>another</i> (who i was seeing at the same time) said that i wasn't a "pedophile" and was "just trying to get attention" (and the entire therapy group agreed), <i>only then</i> did i start to feel like i <i>ought to at least</i>look into the third option that i had just recently discovered: these NAMBLA guys who were saying positive things about my desires. | ||
And then right around that time (maybe before i found the NAMBLA Bulletin, i don't recall for sure) i stumbled across a book by Dan Tsang: <u>The Age Taboo</u> (at my town's college library!). Before that, I had educated myself about my feelings only from books on criminology, secretly getting "my jollies" as i read about "cases". | And then right around that time (maybe before i found the NAMBLA Bulletin, i don't recall for sure) i stumbled across a book by Dan Tsang: <u>The Age Taboo</u> (at my town's college library!). Before that, I had educated myself about my feelings only from books on criminology, secretly getting "my jollies" as i read about "cases". | ||
Moving away from my hometown (for reasons i don't recall) i settled into a "more liberal" town where i began the task. Becoming a NAMBLA member (in 1989), i was beginning to replace the self-hating feelings with self-loving feelings. And it was living in that new town, that i <b>began discovering views that i had never heard of before. i was totally blown away... It changed my life!</b> And set me on general course of critical thinking in dimensions i had never considered! | Moving away from my hometown (for reasons i don't recall) i settled into a "more liberal" town where i began the task. Becoming a NAMBLA member (in 1989), i was beginning to replace the self-hating feelings with self-loving feelings. And it was living in that new town, that i <b>began discovering views that i had never heard of before. i was totally blown away... It changed my life!</b> And set me on general course of critical thinking in dimensions i had never considered! | ||
With such information that had been kept from me until now i got heavily motivated into reading and studying the info NAMBLA sent, and seeking the titles they mentioned at my local libraries. It was only at the local university library that i totally stumbled upon a goldmine; and thanks to a helpful librarian, i stumbled across a veritable "goldmine". | With such information that had been kept from me until now i got heavily motivated into reading and studying the info NAMBLA sent, and seeking the titles they mentioned at my local libraries. It was only at the local university library that i totally stumbled upon a goldmine; and thanks to a helpful librarian, i stumbled across a veritable "goldmine". | ||
Anyway, all this had a very very powerful effect on me. I'm kind of a wild person already (having dared physical and psychological feats few others allow themselves to imagine, much less actually do), so to have such realizations just caused me to want to speak up aloud. This is when i began doing so. Just becoming a member of NAMBLA had been the biggest step, but now i was beginning to go on the road to something like ballistic! | Anyway, all this had a very very powerful effect on me. I'm kind of a wild person already (having dared physical and psychological feats few others allow themselves to imagine, much less actually do), so to have such realizations just caused me to want to speak up aloud. This is when i began doing so. Just becoming a member of NAMBLA had been the biggest step, but now i was beginning to go on the road to something like ballistic! | ||
In the NAMBLA Bulletin, i began writing about my interactions with the local gay bookstore, seeking to get them to stock the Bulletin --after noting that they were already selling both Theo Sandfort's and Edward Brongersma's books, one of which i think had been showing in the window! I thought sure that they'd be okay with it, but when I brought the topic up, first to a clerk and then the manager, I was met with unexpected hostility. When i found the university library collection, (having all the Bulletins, all the Paidikas, all the Pans (Dutch) etc. at my finger-tips for 6-8 hours a day was incredible!) the inspiration from all that moved me to make a stand in the local "liberal" Unitarian church. | In the NAMBLA Bulletin, i began writing about my interactions with the local gay bookstore, seeking to get them to stock the Bulletin --after noting that they were already selling both Theo Sandfort's and Edward Brongersma's books, one of which i think had been showing in the window! I thought sure that they'd be okay with it, but when I brought the topic up, first to a clerk and then the manager, I was met with unexpected hostility. When i found the university library collection, (having all the Bulletins, all the Paidikas, all the Pans (Dutch) etc. at my finger-tips for 6-8 hours a day was incredible!) the inspiration from all that moved me to make a stand in the local "liberal" Unitarian church. | ||
Well, to make a longer story shorter, the police were called and they tried to investigate me (it was figured that i MUST be breaking some hysteria law to DARE speak up, apparently), but unlike years before when I had experienced police authoritarianism (for similarly specious reasons), i knew my rights now--thanks to an article in an old NAMBLA Bulletin --and could no longer be intimidated into doing what one investigator seemingly sublimely asked: Coming down to cop HQ for a few intimidating questions. i was not breaking any laws, I told him, but found it powerful to break the enforced silence instead! | Well, to make a longer story shorter, the police were called and they tried to investigate me (it was figured that i MUST be breaking some hysteria law to DARE speak up, apparently), but unlike years before when I had experienced police authoritarianism (for similarly specious reasons), i knew my rights now--thanks to an article in an old NAMBLA Bulletin --and could no longer be intimidated into doing what one investigator seemingly sublimely asked: Coming down to cop HQ for a few intimidating questions. i was not breaking any laws, I told him, but found it powerful to break the enforced silence instead! | ||
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<ul> | <ul> | ||
:My landlord was visited at work and asked questions about me.<br> | |||
:If i had had a job i surely would have lost it due to the stigma of having a police visit and them asking questions about my "interests"; and probably shooting off their often prejudiced mouths about "what" was going on, as NAMBLA media had shared about countless other examples.<br> | |||
:The "investigation" included repeated calls and plain-clothed cop visits to my residence. At least one housemate thought sure these guys were f.b.i. agents (he said he "knows") (i find it intrigueing that they never came when i was there).<br> | |||
:i was summarily kicked out of the house (full of gay men) that i was living at on the premise that they didn't want their phones to be tapped.<br> | |||
:i was unofficially excluded from another liberal church i was attending (the local "Friends" Meeting); officially i could come if: | |||
:A) accompanied at all times by someone, until they got to know me; | |||
:B) i went on the alternative day. (i should have chosen the main day, because every time i went to the alternative day it was completely empty of people!)</ul><br> | |||
(if i am "smart" i should go live there again and allow them to "get to know me" and see if they can live up to their principles when it really counts, eh?) | (if i am "smart" i should go live there again and allow them to "get to know me" and see if they can live up to their principles when it really counts, eh?) | ||
It was in 1990, when i'd moved to the Boston area, that i began meeting the NAMBLA activists in person (initially, i was blown away by several of them, one sexually!), and even living with a few. In that spirit of my feelings being so accepted, i began putting out the zine "I AM" (which i now realize was named after principle NAMBLA activist Tom Reeve's words: "I AM a boylover." in the NAMBLA NEWS article "Expect the Worst, Live for the Best", 1981) | It was in 1990, when i'd moved to the Boston area, that i began meeting the NAMBLA activists in person (initially, i was blown away by several of them, one sexually!), and even living with a few. In that spirit of my feelings being so accepted, i began putting out the zine "I AM" (which i now realize was named after principle NAMBLA activist Tom Reeve's words: "I AM a boylover." in the NAMBLA NEWS article "Expect the Worst, Live for the Best", 1981) | ||
At first, my zine was put out as a way for me to express myself as i just wasn't finding enough of a place in existing NAMBLA publications and events, or even amongst the few that i had initially met. In time it grew from just an expression of pent-up emotions and long secretly-kept poems and art to "an internationally-available tool" of alternative high passion, dissent, and possible inspiration for its gutsy readers--who in these times of hysteria dared buy it and read it! | At first, my zine was put out as a way for me to express myself as i just wasn't finding enough of a place in existing NAMBLA publications and events, or even amongst the few that i had initially met. In time it grew from just an expression of pent-up emotions and long secretly-kept poems and art to "an internationally-available tool" of alternative high passion, dissent, and possible inspiration for its gutsy readers--who in these times of hysteria dared buy it and read it! | ||
(The "risk" may've seemed more pronounced since for about the first three years, it lacked an "official" stamp of "legitimacy" from the only U.S. group --NAMBLA-- that independent pedos trusted; only after much struggle--yes, that's the appropriate word--did they finally even mention it (in a review by Ishmael Wilkins) and begin listing it in first their own booklist and then selling it via Ariel's Pages. Am happy to say that the two groups were always good about payment.) | (The "risk" may've seemed more pronounced since for about the first three years, it lacked an "official" stamp of "legitimacy" from the only U.S. group --NAMBLA-- that independent pedos trusted; only after much struggle--yes, that's the appropriate word--did they finally even mention it (in a review by Ishmael Wilkins) and begin listing it in first their own booklist and then selling it via Ariel's Pages. Am happy to say that the two groups were always good about payment.) | ||
i was busy with many other projects too, as well as still seeking increased trust (and thus acceptance as a "legitimate" activist) via the available routes (in NAMBLA and with others as it went). i wrote and recorded a small number of poetic audio tapes ("from the trenches of the living damned") at the apartment i lived at --being careful not to be overheard; --i always wanted to CHOOSE my battles: like when i found the energy to actually read such poetry at public readings! (These readings were greatly inspired by seeing one of our foremost BL poets do his thing in public when he visited town; i have one long-time NAMBLA activist to thank for calling me about it, too!) | i was busy with many other projects too, as well as still seeking increased trust (and thus acceptance as a "legitimate" activist) via the available routes (in NAMBLA and with others as it went). i wrote and recorded a small number of poetic audio tapes ("from the trenches of the living damned") at the apartment i lived at --being careful not to be overheard; --i always wanted to CHOOSE my battles: like when i found the energy to actually read such poetry at public readings! (These readings were greatly inspired by seeing one of our foremost BL poets do his thing in public when he visited town; i have one long-time NAMBLA activist to thank for calling me about it, too!) | ||
There were also the unmentionable underground creative nonviolent tactics in league with Queer Nation's record of wheat pasting, a group i became involved with to only a small, but definitely inspiring, extent. The library "info-saturations" (no censorship tho); the strategic defiance of ignorant remarks made by housemates and parents and other relatives; the visits and with non-NAMBLA groups (like the Indianner Kommune in Germany, a few "Schiz-Fluxers", some folks at "Anarchy" magazine, alternative libraries, etc.). Last but not least, the little hell-raisings (accompanied by electronic loudspeaker which could be heard for blocks) at different gay pride events. --Oh, and how could i forget--my ever-increasing critique of NAMBLA's leadership ideology and organization imperatives, itself. (only later did i see that much of what's critique-able could be coming directly from the after-effects of long-time official and/or private covert action done/being done to this audacious and impressively committed organization of imperfect volunteers) | There were also the unmentionable underground creative nonviolent tactics in league with Queer Nation's record of wheat pasting, a group i became involved with to only a small, but definitely inspiring, extent. The library "info-saturations" (no censorship tho); the strategic defiance of ignorant remarks made by housemates and parents and other relatives; the visits and with non-NAMBLA groups (like the Indianner Kommune in Germany, a few "Schiz-Fluxers", some folks at "Anarchy" magazine, alternative libraries, etc.). Last but not least, the little hell-raisings (accompanied by electronic loudspeaker which could be heard for blocks) at different gay pride events. --Oh, and how could i forget--my ever-increasing critique of NAMBLA's leadership ideology and organization imperatives, itself. (only later did i see that much of what's critique-able could be coming directly from the after-effects of long-time official and/or private covert action done/being done to this audacious and impressively committed organization of imperfect volunteers) | ||
<hr> | <hr> | ||
<center><h2>BOSTON MARCH, 1991</h2><br> (including first "spontaneous" OLF march)--a folk activist perspective | <center><h2>BOSTON MARCH, 1991</h2><br> (including first "spontaneous" OLF march)--a folk activist perspective | ||
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<p><tt> | <p><tt> | ||
(NOTE: "Officially" i call this the first unofficial "spontaneous" march by the OLF (Orgasm Liberation Front, coined later in 1995), even tho those participating in it certainly thought of it as a purely spontaneous action, having nothing to do with any agenda/designs on my part; and, at the time i had no such designs. Only now...heh heh...) (further note: i recall having marched with NAMBLA once in subordination to the leadership, but don't recall if that march was in 1991, or what, as i had arrived into the activist scene in somewhere around the <i>fall</i> of 1990; it seems to me that i walked in NAMBLA's typical "passivist" way the first time (in '91), and then, on the second time around ('92?), let out my "cantankerous" and "abrasive", or ANGRY side. A <i>rage</i> that i think mostly had to do with my fear of speaking mixed with all the terrible news i had been reading in movement publications! Note that i also marched in Boston several other times, and probably with NAMBLA, at least up to 1994, tho i'm not sure if i did that consecutively)</tt> | (NOTE: "Officially" i call this the first unofficial "spontaneous" march by the OLF (Orgasm Liberation Front, coined later in 1995), even tho those participating in it certainly thought of it as a purely spontaneous action, having nothing to do with any agenda/designs on my part; and, at the time i had no such designs. Only now...heh heh...) (further note: i recall having marched with NAMBLA once in subordination to the leadership, but don't recall if that march was in 1991, or what, as i had arrived into the activist scene in somewhere around the <i>fall</i> of 1990; it seems to me that i walked in NAMBLA's typical "passivist" way the first time (in '91), and then, on the second time around ('92?), let out my "cantankerous" and "abrasive", or ANGRY side. A <i>rage</i> that i think mostly had to do with my fear of speaking mixed with all the terrible news i had been reading in movement publications! Note that i also marched in Boston several other times, and probably with NAMBLA, at least up to 1994, tho i'm not sure if i did that consecutively)</tt> | ||
From issue #6 of zine "I AM":<br> | From issue #6 of zine "I AM":<br> | ||
The following audacity was in part inspired by Brenda of EIDOS ("EVERYONE IS DOING OUTRAGEOUS SEX") magazine. THANKS BRENDA!!!! | The following audacity was in part inspired by Brenda of EIDOS ("EVERYONE IS DOING OUTRAGEOUS SEX") magazine. THANKS BRENDA!!!! | ||
<tt> | |||
Note: Is RAISING HELL an "appropriate" way to try to tell the public that the injustice their society reserves for us is WRONG? Go here to look at some defending arguments, or e-mail me.</tt> | Note: Is RAISING HELL an "appropriate" way to try to tell the public that the injustice their society reserves for us is WRONG? Go here to look at some defending arguments, or e-mail me.</tt> | ||
i want to speak up for my experience as an activist loud, proud, and gone not allowed in the NAMBLA Bulletin. (...) | i want to speak up for my experience as an activist loud, proud, and gone not allowed in the NAMBLA Bulletin. (...) | ||
<p> | <p> | ||
This year's march in Boston's [gay] Pride [march] was the second step in a powerful direction, i believe. <em>Two OTHER</em> [NAMBLA] members took the risk to stand LOUD and PROUD with my so-called "EGO" [(why is "ego" so bad? And <i>is it</i> my "ego" that is coming to the fore in my independence from NAMBLA?? I wonder!)]; one member, an African American, was even the [alleged] victim of [being on legal probation]--<i>but that fear did not stop him</i>!! As the Bulletin reported, i had the NAMBLA bullhorn [(this was the one i bought for NAMBLA; i later bought another from monies collected from the zine for my personal use)] and loudly roared where no boylover-type has probably roared before!! | This year's march in Boston's [gay] Pride [march] was the second step in a powerful direction, i believe. <em>Two OTHER</em> [NAMBLA] members took the risk to stand LOUD and PROUD with my so-called "EGO" [(why is "ego" so bad? And <i>is it</i> my "ego" that is coming to the fore in my independence from NAMBLA?? I wonder!)]; one member, an African American, was even the [alleged] victim of [being on legal probation]--<i>but that fear did not stop him</i>!! As the Bulletin reported, i had the NAMBLA bullhorn [(this was the one i bought for NAMBLA; i later bought another from monies collected from the zine for my personal use)] and loudly roared where no boylover-type has probably roared before!! | ||
Fellow NAMBLA members surely [called] me "crazy" for my actions with the bullhorn in Boston (like they do to many others who cannot defend themselves, it seems: take The Unicorn and Miguelito's difficulties, or those labeled "emotional vampires"). But let me say to you what i read [via that bullhorn]: i read <b>passages and messages from the NAMBLA Bulletin, <i>other zines</i> of direct pertinence [like <i>Minor Problems, Empathy, Pan,</i> etc.] as well as <i>rap rhymes</i> from my <i>'RAPper'</i> persona!!!</b> | Fellow NAMBLA members surely [called] me "crazy" for my actions with the bullhorn in Boston (like they do to many others who cannot defend themselves, it seems: take The Unicorn and Miguelito's difficulties, or those labeled "emotional vampires"). But let me say to you what i read [via that bullhorn]: i read <b>passages and messages from the NAMBLA Bulletin, <i>other zines</i> of direct pertinence [like <i>Minor Problems, Empathy, Pan,</i> etc.] as well as <i>rap rhymes</i> from my <i>'RAPper'</i> persona!!!</b> | ||
As i mentioned before, two other NAMBLA members marched with me during this march (with signs we had made, autonomously from the NAMBLA leadership, even tho we would have LIKED to have their input). We marched with the NAMBLA contingent firstly, and THEN a SECOND TIME! This time <i>behind</i> the gays[main]stream newspaper "Bay Windows" [contingent], of whom one of its writers would call us "the most creative" aspect of the march! There we made our own history, with me (mainly) being LOUD and OBNOXIOUS in the FACE of the cream of gay[main]stream society. Needless to say, i thought it was a <i>liberating</i> experience. and i think that closet dudelovers, and dudes who like them, tho maybe taken aback at first [by our unorthodox approach] probably found energy in our LOUD and PROUD voice. As for my fellow NAMBLA two members that marched with me? They remained in something like support positions, agreeing to pass out the literature we made (one of them had made his own flier!), and carry our artistic signs. | As i mentioned before, two other NAMBLA members marched with me during this march (with signs we had made, autonomously from the NAMBLA leadership, even tho we would have LIKED to have their input). We marched with the NAMBLA contingent firstly, and THEN a SECOND TIME! This time <i>behind</i> the gays[main]stream newspaper "Bay Windows" [contingent], of whom one of its writers would call us "the most creative" aspect of the march! There we made our own history, with me (mainly) being LOUD and OBNOXIOUS in the FACE of the cream of gay[main]stream society. Needless to say, i thought it was a <i>liberating</i> experience. and i think that closet dudelovers, and dudes who like them, tho maybe taken aback at first [by our unorthodox approach] probably found energy in our LOUD and PROUD voice. As for my fellow NAMBLA two members that marched with me? They remained in something like support positions, agreeing to pass out the literature we made (one of them had made his own flier!), and carry our artistic signs. | ||
The effect of this bullhorn turned up as it was WAS a sight to be heard...and we were RUINING the day of a community overrun by gay (read: homophile) assimilationist <i>violence</i>. Violence? oh,<i> have you too forgotten</i> all the men and dudes whose unjust jailings and tortures go <b>unreported in our homophile brethren's media</b>??--while they <i>fully accept</i> the scandalous half-truths of the Therapeutrick State?!! And all the adults and youngers who've <i>killed themselves</i> physically or emotionally/psychologically [(the term "turning" oneself "off" in order to "survive"comes to mind here, as well]) because of who they were born as...--yet at least one NAMBLA leader believes that our marching needs to take a "friendly" approach (read: without nerve, pacifist/passivist) within this fucked-up gay[main]stream community...Sheesh!! | The effect of this bullhorn turned up as it was WAS a sight to be heard...and we were RUINING the day of a community overrun by gay (read: homophile) assimilationist <i>violence</i>. Violence? oh,<i> have you too forgotten</i> all the men and dudes whose unjust jailings and tortures go <b>unreported in our homophile brethren's media</b>??--while they <i>fully accept</i> the scandalous half-truths of the Therapeutrick State?!! And all the adults and youngers who've <i>killed themselves</i> physically or emotionally/psychologically [(the term "turning" oneself "off" in order to "survive"comes to mind here, as well]) because of who they were born as...--yet at least one NAMBLA leader believes that our marching needs to take a "friendly" approach (read: without nerve, pacifist/passivist) within this fucked-up gay[main]stream community...Sheesh!! | ||
<b>What kind of BULLSHIT is that?</b> | <b>What kind of BULLSHIT is that?</b> | ||
Honest history [(read Bud and Ruth Schultz, Howard Zinn, even Studs Terkel)] tells us that <i>every group</i> of humans standing for their rights has <i>had to confront opponents in their face and make them uncomfy with their mindset</i>. It's one thing to choose, as a consenting group within an organization, only to use a quiet, academic-style, pacifist approach, <i>and completely different to coerce/push others--<b>without even an attempt at serious communication of the values of a chosen path</b></i>. I for one think that <b>groups which claim to represent a wide variety of people</b> should at least be open to serious discussion with all those who want to do something more! (The main thing these managers of the largely middle-class/middle-manager organizations i've always intuitively dissented from was that they would say i WOULDN'T LISTEN! Wow, that felt like a stretch to me! i had educated myself and had been mobilized by their media agitation, and felt WE'D BETTER DO SOMETHING that hadn't been done (?); then had come "into the fold" and listened for about a full year; but the conversation always remained so...what was it...on the defensive (after all, they'd been put through so much already, and could i be trusted? And yet, why should i be relegated to a fixed subordinate position, with absolutely no meaningful discussion?). I FELT weirded out, at the time, by the NAMBLA leaders i knew who wouldn't even try to talk over my intensity (!), even tho i was having sex with some of the principle activists at the time! (Years later, when i was 31, i was told that i still looked 16, so at my age of, what, 25 (?!) then...i must've fit in quite well to these activists' teen-orientations! i certainly didn't mind, tho was quickly tired of what i've come to think of "city" people's norms of sex and little else) | Honest history [(read Bud and Ruth Schultz, Howard Zinn, even Studs Terkel)] tells us that <i>every group</i> of humans standing for their rights has <i>had to confront opponents in their face and make them uncomfy with their mindset</i>. It's one thing to choose, as a consenting group within an organization, only to use a quiet, academic-style, pacifist approach, <i>and completely different to coerce/push others--<b>without even an attempt at serious communication of the values of a chosen path</b></i>. I for one think that <b>groups which claim to represent a wide variety of people</b> should at least be open to serious discussion with all those who want to do something more! (The main thing these managers of the largely middle-class/middle-manager organizations i've always intuitively dissented from was that they would say i WOULDN'T LISTEN! Wow, that felt like a stretch to me! i had educated myself and had been mobilized by their media agitation, and felt WE'D BETTER DO SOMETHING that hadn't been done (?); then had come "into the fold" and listened for about a full year; but the conversation always remained so...what was it...on the defensive (after all, they'd been put through so much already, and could i be trusted? And yet, why should i be relegated to a fixed subordinate position, with absolutely no meaningful discussion?). I FELT weirded out, at the time, by the NAMBLA leaders i knew who wouldn't even try to talk over my intensity (!), even tho i was having sex with some of the principle activists at the time! (Years later, when i was 31, i was told that i still looked 16, so at my age of, what, 25 (?!) then...i must've fit in quite well to these activists' teen-orientations! i certainly didn't mind, tho was quickly tired of what i've come to think of "city" people's norms of sex and little else) | ||
[In the now defunct "radical" zine] Minor Problems [out of the United Kingdom] they state on page 8 of their 1987 issue: <br> | [In the now defunct "radical" zine] Minor Problems [out of the United Kingdom] they state on page 8 of their 1987 issue: <br> | ||
<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
"We do not subscribe to the middle class concept of 'avoid all conflict at all cost.' We cannot, because we are not middle class. The comfortable and well-to-do benefit from the lack of CONFLICT. Those without power are always expected to wear the trouble caused by avoiding conflict. And when such important issues are to be faced, discussed and resolved, of course there will be conflict."</blockquote> | "We do not subscribe to the middle class concept of 'avoid all conflict at all cost.' We cannot, because we are not middle class. The comfortable and well-to-do benefit from the lack of CONFLICT. Those without power are always expected to wear the trouble caused by avoiding conflict. And when such important issues are to be faced, discussed and resolved, of course there will be conflict."</blockquote> | ||
I am not going to try to [further?] divide us up by placing blame on [yet another] group of people, [however]. i think what the problem is is that it is basically a mindset thing. The problem is, i think, how do we persuade those [activists] "with power" or those who disagree with us that our method <i>can be as valid as theirs?</i> How about, by we who have the courage to delve into such acts of self-empowerment, to be empowered to take our own initiative???! That is what [this 'zine] is all about. | I am not going to try to [further?] divide us up by placing blame on [yet another] group of people, [however]. i think what the problem is is that it is basically a mindset thing. The problem is, i think, how do we persuade those [activists] "with power" or those who disagree with us that our method <i>can be as valid as theirs?</i> How about, by we who have the courage to delve into such acts of self-empowerment, to be empowered to take our own initiative???! That is what [this 'zine] is all about. | ||
i will say that NAMBLA's agreed-upon method of marching <i>works to a certain extent</i>. when i first marched with them in new york city and boston last year (?1990? Hmmmm), i felt pretty damn good--i was [for the first time] standing up and walking openly as who i was among others of my orientation! Wow! | i will say that NAMBLA's agreed-upon method of marching <i>works to a certain extent</i>. when i first marched with them in new york city and boston last year (?1990? Hmmmm), i felt pretty damn good--i was [for the first time] standing up and walking openly as who i was among others of my orientation! Wow! | ||
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SAN FIASCO MARCH, 1992</h2></center><br><tt> | SAN FIASCO MARCH, 1992</h2></center><br><tt> | ||
Note: By this time i had been accepted into the NAMBLA Steering Committee, including becoming the assistant corresponding secretary, and thus heard from one of the chapter's spokespersons about the building hysteria promoted by a local last-ranked TV station (the TV station i would later call "KROC TV" in my comix), and a corresponding plea for as many as possible to join him for the march. KROC TV had been aggressively reporting lies for many months by then, so it was assumed that many homophiles (gays) would be especially hysterified this time around. So, with the money i had saved up, i took up the invite and WENT, in solidarity!</tt> | Note: By this time i had been accepted into the NAMBLA Steering Committee, including becoming the assistant corresponding secretary, and thus heard from one of the chapter's spokespersons about the building hysteria promoted by a local last-ranked TV station (the TV station i would later call "KROC TV" in my comix), and a corresponding plea for as many as possible to join him for the march. KROC TV had been aggressively reporting lies for many months by then, so it was assumed that many homophiles (gays) would be especially hysterified this time around. So, with the money i had saved up, i took up the invite and WENT, in solidarity!</tt> | ||
[NAMBLA's role in] the | [NAMBLA's role in] the | ||
farce | farce | ||
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As a marcher who followed the leadership [namely, a former lover, Bill A., one year my junior] complacently in most ways [except for handing out my own flyers], i too was a recipient to roaring sheeple boos spewed by blinded hysteria [and fanned for over a month by the last-rated "kron" TV--aptly renamed "kroc" in my BL cartoon]. But <i>at least</i> i went into the thing <i>expecting the probability</i> of getting our asses kicked. | As a marcher who followed the leadership [namely, a former lover, Bill A., one year my junior] complacently in most ways [except for handing out my own flyers], i too was a recipient to roaring sheeple boos spewed by blinded hysteria [and fanned for over a month by the last-rated "kron" TV--aptly renamed "kroc" in my BL cartoon]. But <i>at least</i> i went into the thing <i>expecting the probability</i> of getting our asses kicked. | ||
Other long-time members apparently figured we could once again march and give a "friendly" but silent/pacifist message to the gay community in a sign of goodwill...or something. <b>those were the ones who came out of it really fucking scared--and immobilized i think.</b> and our fellows in San Francisco who took the leadership roles [i.e. tending our booth] also did not rise to par--a baffling sight to me since i had seen his powerful [audacity] at earlier times [(namely, the guy who didn't tend our booth, had, earlier, shown his strength of character when the "k.r.o.n." t.v. crew busted in unannounced at the PUBLICly-invited local S.F. meeting at a branch library in the city, acting as if they had "found them out"; and his non-cowed response spoke miles of excellence to me)], [In my view] all of this [was] based on fear and not having prepared enough for this important NAMBLA exercise. | Other long-time members apparently figured we could once again march and give a "friendly" but silent/pacifist message to the gay community in a sign of goodwill...or something. <b>those were the ones who came out of it really fucking scared--and immobilized i think.</b> and our fellows in San Francisco who took the leadership roles [i.e. tending our booth] also did not rise to par--a baffling sight to me since i had seen his powerful [audacity] at earlier times [(namely, the guy who didn't tend our booth, had, earlier, shown his strength of character when the "k.r.o.n." t.v. crew busted in unannounced at the PUBLICly-invited local S.F. meeting at a branch library in the city, acting as if they had "found them out"; and his non-cowed response spoke miles of excellence to me)], [In my view] all of this [was] based on fear and not having prepared enough for this important NAMBLA exercise. | ||
And true [seems] the notion that some courageous leaders in NAMBLA are better fit for certain roles and less fit for others. | And true [seems] the notion that some courageous leaders in NAMBLA are better fit for certain roles and less fit for others. | ||
[goes on to discuss the exclusion of an invitation to "protect" our contingent from the San Francisco Trotskyists, whom allegedly 'were always trying to infiltrate groups in order to take them over'. They wanted to form a diverse protective line around our group; they were all longhaired-types, even some women! i was flabbergasted by the leadership's decision on this, needless to say!! Then again, i was extremely politically naive...and had actually been moved in a positive way by some of these Trotskyists, when they had invited me to stay with them, i think before the march.] | [goes on to discuss the exclusion of an invitation to "protect" our contingent from the San Francisco Trotskyists, whom allegedly 'were always trying to infiltrate groups in order to take them over'. They wanted to form a diverse protective line around our group; they were all longhaired-types, even some women! i was flabbergasted by the leadership's decision on this, needless to say!! Then again, i was extremely politically naive...and had actually been moved in a positive way by some of these Trotskyists, when they had invited me to stay with them, i think before the march.] | ||
Anyway, as it happened, "we" didn't need anyone to fuck up everything and then be blamed afterwards!! Adhering to everything our leadership told us, we fucked up ourselves well enough, "Thank you."...[Or did we? Perhaps, in his leadership role and following classic pacifist methods, Bill and fellow backroom strategists, accomplished the goal as best as is "possible" within their strategy??] | Anyway, as it happened, "we" didn't need anyone to fuck up everything and then be blamed afterwards!! Adhering to everything our leadership told us, we fucked up ourselves well enough, "Thank you."...[Or did we? Perhaps, in his leadership role and following classic pacifist methods, Bill and fellow backroom strategists, accomplished the goal as best as is "possible" within their strategy??] | ||
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<p> | <p> | ||
Why did i have to participate in following [a "leader"] around who really didn't seem to have any idea of what kinds of tactics [in my "humble" opinion] to use in the situation. [And] like other marches this year there was a failure of communication [from the "leaders" onto we "following" participants]. If i was Bill i would have [at least] communicated from the beginning with our marchers and level with them about what was threatened to happen, what might happen, and so on; and allow people, [fully informed] to back out or stay on.[I understand, of course, the problem of possible infiltrators within even the marchers, but it seems that AT LEAST some form of communication and trust could be made!] | Why did i have to participate in following [a "leader"] around who really didn't seem to have any idea of what kinds of tactics [in my "humble" opinion] to use in the situation. [And] like other marches this year there was a failure of communication [from the "leaders" onto we "following" participants]. If i was Bill i would have [at least] communicated from the beginning with our marchers and level with them about what was threatened to happen, what might happen, and so on; and allow people, [fully informed] to back out or stay on.[I understand, of course, the problem of possible infiltrators within even the marchers, but it seems that AT LEAST some form of communication and trust could be made!] | ||
At least [they should've] known what the leaderships' <i>basic</i> plan was and have equal feelings [communicated] about the event [to be] shared. And an actual dialogue that was <i>participatory</i> in leadership direction! | At least [they should've] known what the leaderships' <i>basic</i> plan was and have equal feelings [communicated] about the event [to be] shared. And an actual dialogue that was <i>participatory</i> in leadership direction! | ||
Most carefully, we all <i>should have</i> made the time to talk about what the "chosen" leader (Bill) was <i>not interested</i> in doing [in his capacity as "our leader" and spokesman]. To allow these kinds of things to be [completely] ignored in inter-group relations is to add to the dissent and disillusionment i for one felt. [maybe what people like me who are so concerned about these issues should just try to be included, ourselves, in some of the strategey discourse...and not try to include all?] | Most carefully, we all <i>should have</i> made the time to talk about what the "chosen" leader (Bill) was <i>not interested</i> in doing [in his capacity as "our leader" and spokesman]. To allow these kinds of things to be [completely] ignored in inter-group relations is to add to the dissent and disillusionment i for one felt. [maybe what people like me who are so concerned about these issues should just try to be included, ourselves, in some of the strategey discourse...and not try to include all?] | ||
<p> | <p> | ||
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THE NEXT TIME you get surrounded by hysteria (or frothing media) try these anecdotes:<br> | THE NEXT TIME you get surrounded by hysteria (or frothing media) try these anecdotes:<br> | ||
When they assert their usual dogma, you might try responding with:<br><h4>"Yes, yes, okay, you're RIGHT, the Sun does revolve around the Earth!" <i>OR</i> "I am truly sorry, you're RIGHT, Black men are so CLEVER--<i>imagine them actually loving a white woman!</i>" OR "My math is suspect, your highnesses! As you KNOW, the Earth is QUITE FLAT!" (any other ideahhs, folks??) | When they assert their usual dogma, you might try responding with:<br><h4>"Yes, yes, okay, you're RIGHT, the Sun does revolve around the Earth!" <i>OR</i> "I am truly sorry, you're RIGHT, Black men are so CLEVER--<i>imagine them actually loving a white woman!</i>" OR "My math is suspect, your highnesses! As you KNOW, the Earth is QUITE FLAT!" (any other ideahhs, folks??) | ||
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Revision as of 14:21, 7 January 2014
BOSTON MARCH (including OLF's FIRST "spontaneous" march, 1991) |