Pedophilia: Two different worlds
This is from the now-defunct Danish Paedophile Association: https://web.archive.org/web/20050507144502/http://205.205.236.41/english/
Two different worlds | |
Sexual abuse of children |
Pedophilia with erotic-sexual contact (if any) |
1. Violence, threat of violence, deception, blackmail (emotional), assault and rape. |
1. Spontanity and friendship, enjoyed together. |
2. The child feels that it is impossible to withdraw form the sexual activity. The child wants it to stop, but the adult obstruct this. Abuse of power and other intimidation makes abuse over a long period possible. |
2. The child can withdraw at any moment according to its desire. The adult respects the child's wish and does not blame the child for its decision. |
3. The lust of the adult is the only criterion. The erotic needs of the child are ignored. The child is a passive partner and a sexobject. |
3. Interplay in personal and (perhaps) sexual level. The sexual activity, if any, is geared to the child's psycho-sexual level. The adult joins the child in its sexuality. |
4. Secrecy is enforced. The feelings of shame of the child are exploited. If the sexual activity comes out, the child is made to feel guiltyy, even though in fact being unwilling the sexual activity. |
4. Trying to be as open as is possible in morality and environment. Well-being is verbally and non-verbally expressed to each other during the relationship. |
5. Oppressive atmosphere, no feelings of safety and intimacy. |
5. One aims at an atmosphere which is as safe as possible. |
6. The relationship is not equivalent. In the respect of upbringing or education, there is repression, authority or manipulation. |
6. The aim is to create an equal partnership. In the case of a continued relation it develops to friendship. |
7. The adult is not interested in the child as a person, at the most as an occasional sex object. |
7. The adult expresses interest in the child's world. There is common ground, even if the contact is only a single event. |
8. There is little common ground. The child is consciously isolated from others, also from peers. The adult lays a claim to the child. |
8. There is a space for a youth culture and contact with others. Interests are shared. |
9. No open communication; all emotional expression is subpressed. |
9. The aim is more space to express emotions. Power is balanced. Child and adult share the power. |
10. In institutions love and attention are sparse; in these cases there is a greater chance that the children will become fixated on sexuality by the adults. |
10. The adult has a real interest in the sexual feelings of the child. He wishes to join at the child's level. The relationship is a valuable supplement to the child's life. |
11. The child has feelings of fear and aversion. One can see the child is asking for help. |
11. Happy feelings are prevalent. Sometimes, however, the child feels unease because of the generally accepted morals. Yet the child tries to express positive feelings to the environment. |
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