Pedophilia: Two different worlds

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This is from the now-defunct Danish Paedophile Association: https://web.archive.org/web/20050507144502/http://205.205.236.41/english/

(NOTE: Some minor orthographic errors have been corrected.)

Two different worlds

Sexual abuse of children

Pedophilia with erotic-sexual contact (if any)

1. Violence, threat of violence, deception, blackmail (emotional), assault and rape.

1. Spontaneity and friendship, enjoyed together.

2. The child feels that it is impossible to withdraw from

the sexual activity. The child wants it to stop, but the adult obstruct this. Abuse of power and other intimidation makes abuse

over a long period possible.

2. The child can withdraw at any moment according to its

desire. The adult respects the child's wish and does not blame the

child for its decision.

3. The lust of the adult is the only criterion. The erotic

needs of the child are ignored. The child is a passive partner and

a sex object.

3. Interplay on a personal and (perhaps) sexual level. The sexual

activity, if any, is geared to the child's psycho-sexual level.

The adult joins the child in its sexuality.

4. Secrecy is enforced. The feelings of shame of the child are

exploited. If the sexual activity is discovered, the child is made to feel guilty, even though he/she was actually unwilling to engage in the sexual

activity.

4. Trying to be as open as is possible in morality and

environment. Well-being is verbally and non-verbally expressed to

each other during the relationship.

5. Oppressive atmosphere, no feelings of safety and intimacy.

5. One aims at an atmosphere which is as safe as possible.

6. The relationship is not equivalent. With respect to

upbringing or education, there is repression, authority or

manipulation.

6. The aim is to create an equal partnership. In the case of a continuing relation it develops to friendship.

7. The adult is not interested in the child as a person, at most only as an occasional sex object.

7. The adult expresses interest in the child's world. There is common ground, even if the contact is only a single event.

8. There is little common ground. The child is consciously

isolated from others, also from peers. The adult lays a claim to

the child.

8. There is a space for a youth culture and contact with others. Interests are shared.

9. No open communication; all emotional expression is suppressed.

9. The aim is more space to express emotions. Power is balanced. Child and adult share the power.

10. In institutions love and attention are sparse; in these

cases there is a greater chance that the children will become

fixated on sexuality by the adults.

10. The adult has a real interest in the sexual feelings of the

child. He wishes to join at the child's level. The relationship is

a valuable supplement to the child's life.

11. The child has feelings of fear and aversion. One can see the child is asking for help.

11. Happy feelings are prevalent. Sometimes, however, the child

feels unease because of the generally accepted morality. Yet the

child tries to express positive feelings within the environment.