BoyLovers' codes of ethics

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Throughout history, boylovers around the world, and in different eras, have independently--without communicating with each other--developed philosophies and codes of conduct [1] [2] that are remarkably similar to each other. This can be seen in both the Greek and Japanese belief systems. While there is no consensus within the boylove community as to what constitutes the tenets of boylove, various themes have persisted throughout our history.

The Boylover's "Golden Rule"

The vast majority of BoyLovers are (as are the vast majority of all people, whether BoyLovers, or not) ethical people, who wish to do no harm to others. The following is "The BoyLover's Golden Rule":

  • "Do unto others (including boys) as you would have them do unto you."

A BoyLover's code of ethics by the psychiatrist Gerard Roelofs of the Netherlands

First, [Roelofs] states: "Above the age of twelve, a sexual relationship with an adult is not necessarily harmful for a child. ‘[M]utuality can be possible, and the interest of the child can have prioity’.

The five criteria for a healthy pedophile relationship

  • 1. There should be no coercion;
  • 2. The child should be able to stop [the sexual interaction] at any time.
  • 3. [Any sexual activity] should be [only] at the psycho-sexual level of the child. In other words: the intimacy has to fit within the sexual feelings of the 12 to 16 year old youngster. ‘One can include mutual masturbation, but not about real hard sado-masochistic games,’ says Roelofs.
He goes on to state, "Two other conditions however, will in most cases form an obstacle for the present-day generation of pedophiles," in Roelofs opinion:
  • 4. The parents of the child should know about the relationship [and the sexual aspect of it].
  • 5. It should also be a condition that the child can talk about the relationship within his [social] environment, without meeting disapproval.[3]


  • Errors in the English have been corrected in this reproduction.

A Boylove Code of Ethics (by Dragonlover)

Every man who has an innate love of boys is not necessarily qualified to be a boylover. The role of a boylover in a young boy's life is one of immense responsibility, very much akin to that of a father. The boy's best interest, and his future as well as present well being, must always be of paramount importance to the boylover.

Even in Ancient Greece, where boylove was the norm for several centuries, the boylover was expected to be a man of high moral character. Indeed, it brought shame on the boy and his family if his erastes (lover) was anything less.

Because a man/boy relationship involves two people who love one another, boylove encompasses the entire spectrum of human emotion. Therefore, the sexual aspect is a part of most man/boy relationships, even if that aspect is never consumated. It follows, then, that any boylove code of ethics will deal with the issue of sex in the relationship in a mature and responsible way.

1 - A boylover should do everything possible to protect his young friend from any harm, including exposure or embarrassment from arrest. This could mean abstaining from fully consensual sexual relations if such is illegal in the state or country where the boylover lives.

2 - A boylover should protect his own reputation, so that his young friends will not be hurt or suffer as a result of association with him.

3 - A boylover must be truthful and honest, and never lie to his young friends.

4 - A boylover should not seek intimate contact with a boy, without knowing and understanding the boy's interests and feelings.

5 - Intimacy with a boy should never develop into a sexual relationship without the boy fully consenting and understanding the social, legal, and health implications of the relationship.

6 - Boys should not be treated as sexual objects to be enjoyed at the whim of a boylover.

7 - A boylover must respect the role and authority of a boy's parents and not seek to undermine that role.

8 - A boylover should not provide his young friends with alcohol or drugs, and certainly will never use drugs to weaken a boy's sexual inhibitions, or "to get him into the mood" for sexual intimacy.

9 - A boylover has the responsibility of encouraging and helping a boy to develop his normal heterosexual tendencies, unless the boy confirms that he has an innate homosexual orientation.

10 - A boylover should guide and encourage his young friends to stay in school, avoid crime, and do all he can do to help them to develop a successful career.

11 - A boylover should not "cruise" to pick up strange boys for sexual encounters, because that encourages boys to "hustle" or prostitute themselves.


  1. Ethical code (Wikipedia)
  2. Code of conduct (Wikipedia)
  3. Dagblad De Limburger, 8 August 1998

See also

External links