Philosophy of responsible boylove

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Portrait of Socrates. Marble, Roman artwork
(1st century)

The Philosophy of Responsible Boylove was developed by the participants at SafeHaven in the late 1990's "by the dialectic process of thesis, antithesis, and synthesis, repeated over and over again for several years. It thus is not the work of any one person, but the distilled works of many". [1] While many boylovers ascribe fully or in part to the tenets of this belief system, as a philosophy, it has unfortunately become connected with one person, David Riegel.

The importance of responsible relationships between people, and especially between two individuals involved in an intimate relationship, have been discussed and debated for millennia. What are the correct roles of men and women in their relationships? There are extant Greek treatises on this subject.

Homosexual relationships have also been discussed in terms of their ethical considerations. In modern history, "Greek love" began to be written about in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, with the publication of a number of works, including works by John Addington Symonds, his A Problem in Greek Ethics, works by Ralph Nicholas Chubb, by Roger Peyrefitte, and by many others.

Later works by the Uranians discussed the ethics involved in relationships between adults and their younger partners.

In the 1970s and 1980s publications such as PAN magazine, Paidika: The Journal of Paedophilia, International Journal of Greek Love, and others have all discussed the man's responsibilities in his relationships with younger males.

Philosophy of responsible boylove as developed by the SafeHaven group

Responsible boylove is the premise that in any relationship between a boy and an older male, whether sexually expressed or not, the legitimate interests of the boy must take precedence over the interests of his older friend.

Responsible boylove is a relationship between a boy who has a desire for a close and intimate friendship with an older male, and an older boy or man whose love for that boy encompasses enjoyment of the boy's companionship and a desire to provide a mentoring and nurturing environment. The nature, vitality, and duration of the relationship, as well as the extent of nurturing and mentoring, are determined by mutual consent, with the boy's wishes taking precedence. The relationship also includes a definite pedosexual attraction on the part of the older, and may include a desire for sexual experimentation, exploration, play, and gratification on the part of the younger. It is, however, a fundamental tenet of responsible boylove that any physical expression of sexuality is only acceptable with the age appropriate understanding, encouragement, and consent of the boy involved. However, both parties must also carefully take into consideration that any such physical expressions, no matter how completely consensual, are considered a criminal act under the present legal systems in most of the world.[1]

Common misconceptions:

Responsible boylove does not include, support, nor in any way condone non-consensual sexual activity. It does not try to excuse or justify such things as attempts to seduce an obviously unwilling boy, molestation, or predation in any form. Those who subscribe to the responsible model of boylove are as appalled by such crimes as anyone else; indeed, perhaps more so, because of their love for all boys, and the pain they feel when one of them is molested, raped, or murdered. The public and the media seem to know only one word when there is sexual contact between a boy and an older male, the ugly and pejorative label of "pedophile." But the current use of that term is a total corruption of the original meaning, it is a malicious creation of misguided academics, radical religionists, malignant feminists, and prejudiced politicians, and as such is considered unacceptable by a large percentage of boylovers.[1]


  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 The SafeHaven Foundation (site now defunct) Web archive of site

See also

External links