This page contains jokes, some of which may be crude or offensive. These jokes are often derogatorily directed at minor attract people and nothing here should be taken seriously or as an endorsement of child abuse.
Rabbi, Priest and Imam in a small plane with 6 boys. Plane begins to lose height so pilot orders them to abandon before they crash.
Imam says, "Quick get the kids into parachutes",
Rabbi says "Fuck the kids!"
Priest says "Do you think we have time?"
What's the best thing about fucking an 8yo girl?
You can flip her over and pretend she's an 8yo boy.
So I'm laying in bed with my young friend the other night, and he looks over at me and says, "You know, people are saying that you're a pedophile."
I look back and him and say, "Pedophile? My, that's an awfully big word for an 8 year old!"
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me, but you're in my son."
How is Walmart like Michael Jackson?
Both have boy's pants half off.
Boy: Mom, is there a Devil?
Mom: Yes son, there is.
Boy: Does he get inside us sometimes?
Mom: Sometimes, yes.
Boy: Well, I don't have him in me anymore. Father Francis sucked him out this morning.
What's the difference between acne and pedophile?
Acne comes on boys' faces after puberty...
I was going to dinner with my 18 year old boyfriend and everyone kept calling me a pedophile!
It totally ruined our 10th anniversary
What's the best thing about sex with twenty-nine year olds?
There are 20 of them!
This friend of mine had a disgusted look on her face and she said, "Did you know that 2 out of every 3 people live next to a pedophile"?
I said, "Not me, I live next to two smoking hot 10 year olds"
You might be a pedophile if:
the first phrase you learn in any foreign country you visit is, "Excuse me, are you here by yourself or with your parents?"
... all your troubles are small ones...
Say what you want about pedos...
at least they slow down when they drive through school zones!
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her as an altar boy.
A pedophile is driving down the street ...
when he sees a young boy walking along.
He stops and says to the boy, "if I give you a sweet, will you come in my car?".
The boy replies, "if you give me the whole bag, I will cum in your mouth!!"
Why is paedophilia so popular?
Because kids are so sexy.
A Catholic priest and a rabbi...
are sitting on a park bench when a Cub Scout pack marches by.
The priest says, "God, I want to FUCK that boy!"
The rabbi turns up his hands and asks, "Out of what?"
A 12 year old boy goes into the confession box and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned".
The priest replies angrily, "You better not be cheating on me, you little bastard!"
Why is Santa Claus so jolly?
'Cause he knows where all the naughty boys live.
What's the best part of screwing a 12 year old?
Pretending he's ten.
What do a pedophile and the tortoise have in common? They both get there before the hare does.
Q. What does a paedophile have after supper?
Sherlock Holmes announced that he was having a schoolfriend to stay. Later, Dr Watson came back unexpectedly and caught him in bed with a nine year old boy. He said, "Holmes! What kind of schoolfriend do you call that?" Sherlock Holmes replied, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
Q. When is it bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
Q. What do necrophiliac pedophiles and dyslexic pedophiles have in common?
Q. What is a paediatrician?
Q. What do you do if a paedophile is drowning?
Q. What do a paedophile and a Big Mac have in common?
Q. What's the similarity between a paedophile and whisky?
Q. Why did the music teacher get fired?
A. Because he was stuck in A minor.
Q. What did one paedophile say to the other?
A. Have you got a ten for two fives!
A Roman sent a servant to the slave market to buy two 8-year-old boys, and was really annoyed when he came back with one 16-year-old.
Q. What should you do when your YF starts smoking?
Q: How do you know when Michael Jackson is having a slumber party?
A: There's hot wheels parked in the drive way.
Q: What's the worst thing about being a pedophile?
A: Just trying to fit in, I guess.
Q: What's the best thing about being a paedophile?
A: You get to go to bed at 7:30.
A pedophile, a priest and a rabbi meet in a Cambodian bar. They notice that the bar's owners are selling one of their children for sex.
"That's disgusting", said the pedophile. "She must be at least 14".
"Horrendous", said the priest. "She's female".
"Disgraceful", said the rabbi. "They're only charging $2!"
A woman was praying to the almighty for the heavens to rain men... All of a sudden she looks behind her and she sees a boy.
She was so happy and she rejoiced for it has started to drizzle...
Pedophile to young boy: How do you know if you're in bed with an old man?
Young boy: It's not hard...
Oscar Wilde, in the countryside (after his release from prison) tries to check into a small inn. The inn-keeper recognizes him, and say, "I'm terribly sorry, but we cannot allow you to stay here... you know, the scandal...
Oscar: But my good man, I've turned over a new leaf!
Inn-keeper: Is that true? Well, in that case, I suppose you can stay. "Bellboy, take Mr. Wilde's bag to his room."
[10 minutes pass, 20 minutes pass, 30 minutes pass--the bellboy has not returned]
The inn-keeper goes to Oscars room, and uses his pass-key to enter. There, on the bed, is Oscar and the bellboy.
Inn-keepter: "Mr. Wilde! You said you turned over a new leaf!"
Oscar: Ah, yes, of course... But I just wanted to get to the bottom of this page first...
How do you separate the men from the boys in San Francisco?
With a crowbar...
How do you know a Boy-Scout troupe is gay?
The Scoutmaster is wearing knee pads...
Pedo (to 12-year-old boy): Do you know the difference between meat and fish?
Boy: Uh, No, I don't know...
Pedo: If you beat your fish, it will die...
- More jokes...